Oh I don't even know how to begin on this inevitable subject.

At the age of 18 to 26, I had soooo much anxiety for getting old, I thought I was SUPER old already and my life was over.
Obviously I was very wrong.
The year I turned 30 was a huge turning point for me, and I actually felt my life had just begun.

Now during these last days when Ive had my mum and my auntie here visiting me, these thoughts about aging has come to surface again.

It really breaks my heart to see how their bodies are getting weaker and weaker, how the hands start to shake, how the knees and feet hurts, how their sight decreases and all the other things naturally happens with aging.

Does it really have to be this way??
NO, it doesnt....
But why does it happen then?
Let me tell you what I've learned from science.

Those things happen because the whole body engine decreases in function every year, but I know now that its possible to reset the gene expression so our aging body will work and function as it did when we were younger.
With the right nutrition combined, we CAN live younger longer.

So why doesn't every senior citizen eat our supplements instead of accepting all these aging symptoms?
If the retirement system wouldn't be as bad as it is they probably would. But they can't afford it.
Its just as simple as that.
There is another option then accepting being old and weak. There is always the option of building a business with me and then be able to afford the suppliments and also the skin care.
It might nog be easy to build that kind of empire, but it definitely is going o be worth it.

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It feels like its been ages since I wrote here.

What came to my mind this morning when I scrolled through my Facebook feed was that the were 2 different posts that was more recurring then others.

One of them are from my network marketing colleagues about how much they love mondays, and the other on is how much my other friends that don't do network marketing hate mondays.

Im not saying there is something wrong to choose to not work with network marketing, but an interesting thought that came to mind is if we live for 80 years witch is 29220 days (and I know, this is a fairly low number, we will probably live longer then that) that means that we will have around 4174 mondays in our lifetime.
But ok, you will not hate mondays as a toddler, but say mondays start to become a weight on your shoulders when you start school at the age of 6.
Then you will hate at least 3862 days of your life....

And that is just on the simple fact that its monday.....
You will have other bad days through your life too.

And of course this doesnt apply to everyone either, many might have found their dream job outside network marketing and just LOVE when the alarm goes off on mondays. But in general.....

So my simple question to you is, do you really want to put your precious energy on hating mondays or do you want to start loving everyday and experience joy everyday of your life, even mondays?

If you do, let me know and Ill show you what have made me love my mondays.



A few days ago I got the news about my uncle.
He got liver cancer, and its untreatable.

So for those of you that have read my blog before know that this is the fourth person that I know personally, that gotten cancer.

Even though my uncle and me have never been close, he's still my blood....

With my knowledge about nutrition, one of the first thoughts that popped up in my head when I got to know about my uncle was:
So this is the side effects of us not taking care of our bodies and our planet, staring about 50 years ago.

And then today this article came up in my feed on FB....

Where they talk about farmed salmon and that its one of the most toxic food in the world.
Reading the article and realizing how long we've been eating farmed salmon and what we have done to our bodies is kind of terrifying.

So if we stop eating salmon at all (unless we know its wild) will we have a chance to save our selves from chronicle deceases?
NO we won't.
But what we can do is invest in good supplements that will at least help build up the entire body engine so it can work as it should.

If you feel like most people, that the supplement world is just a huge jungle, let me help you.
I personally have a lot of knowledge and I can help you measure if your supplements are working or if you are just paying for "shit" that doesn't do ANYTHING for your body.
Check out Dr Oz talking about anti oxidants and how that can prevent you from getting cancer.



Today was the first time I talked to the guy that I wrote about last time.
We work for the same company, and now he's back after his holiday.

I've had plenty of time to think about this situation since I know I cant escape talking to him at work. or well, theoretically I could, but I also don't want to be the person that runs away from this situation.

I am stronger then to run away.

Even though I've mentally prepared for this, my heart skipped a beat and I got this heavy feeling in my gut....
So many things I thought about saying to him, but in the situation I decided not to. I just asked him how he is doing.
Because I still care, despite everything he done to me.

I know this will benefit me in the long run.
Im not that bitter person any more, I've grown into the bigger, stronger person I want to be. 



A good guy, does he even exist???
This will probably be my longest blogpost ever but Im gonna give you a pretty accurate picture of everything.

For a shorter, but very intense, period of time I was seeing this guy.
We've written for a shorter period of time on fb almost every day. And one day (13/6) he suddenly writes to me that he is on the train up to Stockholm.
Alright..... I was a bit chocked but he still wasn't on his way to see me. He was gonna visit his cousins that lives here.
And thats cool.
We kept on writing the entire night until I had made my self ready to go to bed, when he asked me to go out with him and his cousins to a nightclub.
He talked me in to make my self ready and they were gonna come and pick me up in about an hour.
We had a good time at the night club and that ended with him coming home with me.

He was just in town for four nights and he spent them all with me.
And the time we were apart we kept on texting each other constantly.

When he went back to Gothenburg we kept on texting or writing on fb when either one of us was at work, and as soon as we could we talked on the phone.
Nights when I was off from work we talked for about 4-5 hours.
This was so different from any other guy I've met during my soon 34 years of lifetime.
He made me laugh all the time, and I felt so comfortable with him.

So just one or two days after he got back to Gothenburg we had "the talk".... Where do we want to go with this? Whats my intentions, and whats his intentions.....
I knew he came to Stockholm to get away from Gothenburg, because on our third night together he told me that it was very bad between him and his girlfriend/exgirlfriend and thats why he had to escape Gothenburg. So yes, I knew that, when we had "the talk", but I told him that my intentions are to find a boyfriend and I want this to be serious because during these days he had managed to do something not many have done before, and that is to get under my skin and straight in to my heart so fast.
And he said that he just wanted a girlfriend/partner that he could trust.
So I thought that we are off to a good start here, Im trustworthy.
And we were....
He left Stockholm on the 17/6 and I had already booked a trip down to Gothenburg with one of my best friends Emma on the 19/6.
So I asked Emma if she would mind to see if she could spend the night at Rickards (the guy she was seeing) place so I could get atleast one night with him since we stayed at a hotel. And of course she did.
So he came to the hotel after he finished work.
It had just been two days, but those two days felt long enough to not be with him.
So yea, I'd say this is a really good start of something amazing.

We decided that it was suitable that he would come to Stockholm again next month. We couldn't get any time before that due to our schedules. So he booked his trip to come visit me on the 16/7 and we were gonna check in to a hotel just so we can have some privacy since Im sharing apartment with a dude.
His mum already knew about me, and of course his best friend that he shares apartment with knew about me (I think he was more surprised if we didn't talk on the phone) and he told me all these things I wanted to hear, how he missed me, how he just wanted to lie next to me and just hold me, he wanted to hold my hand (and this even surprised him that he had those feelings), we talked about what to do during his vacation and how we could go down to visit his mum when I had 5 days off from work or if we should take a trip somewhere.

This month apart felt like ages for us both....

When I talked to him on the phone on the 14/7 he asked me if it was ok if he could come up to stockholm a day earlier (tomorrow) because he missed me soo much that he couldn't wait.
And of course he can!!!! Im just glad that he priorities me above the plans that he made for that day.

When I met him by the train station on the morning on the 15/7 he gave me a beautiful rose. I think I was the happiest woman alive then...

And then suddenly, everything changed....

I just got a feeling that there was something wrong, and I guess that was true.
The weekend didn't turn out at all as I dreamed about.

We had plans that we were gonna go see a football game, AIK vs MFF.
But before he came here we joked about that we might even miss the game because we won't leave the hotell room.
That didn't happen.....
We went to the game and his cousin came along too, witch I didn't mind at all since Ive already met her.
During the game me and his cousin talked some, and I told her amongst many things that I've booked a trip down to Gothenburg to visit him next weekend on the 22/7.

When I talked to him on the 21/7 he told me that he met with his ex. I knew about this before so this wasn't a problem. But he told me he felt sooo low and that it didn't feel right towards me if I would come down to visit him on the next day. So we both agreed that he needed some time to process this.
And on the 23/7 he calls me and we talk for a while until my phone dies, but he said that he needed some time apart to figure out what he is feeling and why he was so upset over the breakup between him and his ex. He had never been this sad before when he broken up with his previous girlfriends.
Of course this was not the happiest conversation we've had, I was sad after we hung up. But I didnt want to scare him away so I did my best to give him the space he wanted and needed.

On the 6/8 there had been two week of torture, of not speaking to him and to know how he feel and whats going on. He posted a video on fb where he was at the gym.
And when I commented on that video clip, he erased my comment and then he removed me completely, he unfriended me.....
This hurt my feeling soo much there are not even words to describe...
This is also what he did to show me (before when everything was good) that he was over his ex. So my conclusion was that he met someone else.
A few hours later, a hurt me, wrote to him that he might want to unfollow me on IG too since he unfriended me on fb.
The day after he calls me and tells me that he is still feeling like shit about everything and that he can't handle anything that reminds him of the whole situation with his ex.
Even though I knew I will always remind him of this entire situation I was so happy that he called me the day after on the 7/8.
I though we had a good talk despite everything and it was just such a relief to talk to him again


So you can imagen my chock now when I found out on the 28/8 via fb that he is in a relationship with a new girl.

All the thoughts running through my head right now.....
Was I only a rebound? Or was I just something to brag about to his friends since there is a significant age difference between us (11 years)? Was anything he said about what he was feeling true? Could I have done anything different?

These are questions I'll probably never get answers to, because I hope I won't give him the chance ever again to explain what have happened. 
That is one thing I know for sure, I deserve better than this. 



It's such a terrifying feeling that my clothes are getting smaller and smaller.
Why have I let my self go during the past year?

When I was i Australia last year, I ate healthy and was working out everyday. And I had done for a longer period of time. I came down to Sydney on April 24th and then I was at the end of my TR90 program, witch is a weight management program based on genetic level, the first one ever to do so... And I felt GREAT!
My body was toned, my clothes fitted perfectly, and I was SO proud of my results.

I posted this pic on FB with the comment that I will never go back to where I was before.
The back fat was gone.....

The curves were still there, but as you can see the fat was gone!

So what happened?
I've been askin my self that too and I think when I talked to an old male friend of mine (that I've also had a small secret crush on) and he asked me how my workout is going and how everything is on the other side of the world.
I told him that everything is still good, Im still eating health and working out everyday.
His reply was: Thats great! Just don't loose to much of your boobs....

And thats a comment I got from several guys. "Don't loose your curves...."
Of course Im glad to hear that they like my curves and all but these comments also have a different meaning to me.
Because, growing up, when others were gonna describe me they either said "The girl with massive boobs" or "The girl with weird clothes" (yes, my fashion sense was not really spot on when I was younger) and these two descriptions made me, the young adult that was so afraid of rejection and cared so much about what others thought of me, start to think that maybe I don't have anything else to contribute with then a pair of big boobs.

And for many years I accepted that thought.
But when I started working on my self, I decided to show the rest of the world that there is a depth within me, that I am smart, I can contribute to conversations, I am compassionate for other people, I have a huge heart.
And thats what I thought of my self when I came down to Sydney. All those things, and even a few more...
I do still think all those things of my self, so you know.... That hasn't changed!

But I remember when he said that comment to me my though was: Well I barley haven't lost any thing from them yet, but I work out so hard so maybe I can eat a little unhealthy just to keep them, I mean Im still gonna work out.
So I started to eat a little unhealthier just so my boobs wouldn't disappear... .

HOW STUPID WAS THAT??????!!!!!!!!!

Look at me today, Im back at square one....
And Im going to a pool party on Saturday!!!!
Not really comfortable in my body, but ever so thankful for this device! 

Since I'm not gonna get back in the shape I was a year ago during these few days, at least I can do galvanic treatments that tightens the skin and gives me a a more contoured, smother and firmer looking tummy/body.



Today I met up with one of my best friends Emma Janson before she and her daughter Delia got on the train to move to Gothenburg.

I've only known them really since we were in Marbella in the end of April, but so much have happened during this short period of time so these two are a big part of my life already.
I treasure these two SOOOO much, I don't even know if words can describe...

​But Im gonna give it a go to describe how much this pic means to me....

One of my biggest fears through life has been to never find love, to always being single and never meet a man that I want to create a family with. 
I have cried so many times over this, and when I finally had it with those thoughts, I came up with a "backup plan". So I said that if I don't meet a man I will inseminate when I'm 35. At least that way I can have a family of me and my child whom I'd love and adore endlessly. 

When I've told people this, most have been supportive and think I'm doing the right thing and others have thought it's a selfish choice to put a child in to this world without a fathers figure in the pic. 
My answer to those people has always been: Isn't it better that I put a child in to this world that I know I will taken care of and loved infinitely by one parent then those who get pregnant in hopes that a child might save their relationship, they don't really want the baby but they think things will turn around for then. Or like Delias dad that have said and showed that he want absolutely nothing to do with her..... 
Is that really better parents then what I would be? Not in my opinion..... 

Emma had Delia the regular way, and is now not only one of my best friends and a 19 year old single mum, but she is a loving mother and a HUGE inspiration and a great leader and successful entrepreneur. 
She is now at the pin-title Ruby in our company and she is creating a life for Delia that she will grow up to appreciate SOOO much later on when she talks to her classmates and friends. Emma is building her and Delias empire now and at the same time she can be home and spend all the time with Delia and not have to give her away to kindergarten. 
She will be able to be there for her daughter every step in her life, take her to places others only will read about in the school books. And thats because she made a wise decision and start working with our company when she still was pregnant. 

So this pic is my goals, literally combined in one shot..... 

Become a ruby executive and above, and a loving mother. 
The opportunity is exactly the same for everyone so its just time to take action for me and start fulfilling my dreams. 



From time to time it becomes clear to me. Im a doer!

I absolutfel LOVE to help other people chase their dreams.
Unfortunately not everyone is ready to take the leap after they told me their dreams, thoughts and plans.

Like for example, some of my friends have told me they are thinking of moving from Gothenburg and are thinking about Stockholm. Then my mind goes straight to what can I do to make this their reality. And I start looking around for job opportunities if they aren't interested in my business where they can work for them selves.
And then when I get back to them saying there is an opportunity for them to get a job here or there, doesn't really matter, then they often gets scared and backs out.

And then they give me thousands of excuses why they can't just move like that...
Most people overthink everything. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen if you take the leap and chase your dreams???
The absolute worst that could happen is that you learned nothing and have to go back to the life you wanted to escape from but you were pretty comfortable.

So if you want something really bad you just make sure it will happen one way or another.
Don't let your thoughts, affected by others fear, hold you back. 
Just do it! You most likely will grow and learn during this experience. 



At work on thursday I was the only female operator that day, and I told the guys that Im looking forward to Tuesday for the Beyoncé concert, and when we got in to the subject concerts my team manager said that he had recently been to Rihannas concert and that he would much more prefer to go see Rihanna then Beyoncé.

After a short period of time (working with only men this is kind of a standard) the question came and everybody had to answer....
Beyoncé or Rihanna, who would you like to go see performing live and who would you date?

I was the only one answering Beyoncé on both, one of my colleagues dared to answer that he would date Rihanna and go see Beyoncé live.

At the time I thought, well they are right to their own opinion.
But now after I´ve been to the concert, (came home about an hour ago) I think they are actually not man enough to handle a strong powerful woman like Beyoncé. Thats why they chose Rihanna....

And that is very common still in 2016 I think.
Men in general get scared when they meet a strong, independent woman.

This is the reason I believe I been single all these years. All the men I've met havn't been able to handle me. I see my self as a strong independent woman and I actually was told just this a little more then a year ago when I got the question "Why are you still single?"
When I humble answerd "I don't know....." this guy just said to me.... "I think I know, you are to strong so you scare men away...."
Those words stuck to my brain. That must be it.

And after todays concert, I'm sure of it....

​Maybe I actually can't speak in the battle between these two since I actually never been to see Rihanna live.... 


There is a reason for that too. In my opinion there is a difference between royal/regal and above regular. 
Beyoncé is called Queen B for a reason.... 
But when she walked on stage today you could really feel the presence of power. And I wouldn't even pay to go to see Rihanna, thats how far apart they are in my world. 
Rihanna might be above regular but Beyoncé is THE QUEEN!!!! 
And also, Beyoncé is someone that inspires me and I look up to her witch I can't say about Rihanna... 

I'm SOOOOOO thankful I got the opportunity to see Beyoncé live tonight 



Soon its time for The Formation World Tour here in Stockholm.

I love it in several different areas that the concert is here in Solna at Friends Arena.
I just went in to the mall and went to Systembolaget (thats the only place/chain here in sweden where you can buy alcohol legally) to buy 2 bottles of sparkling rosé and the cashier asked for my ID.....

Of course I'm flattered that he even thinks I'm close to being at the age of 20 when I'm standing infant of him without any make up in my sweats.....
But I'm very aware that he asked just because there are A LOT of teens here today. For one I didn't have my ID with me so I had to go home and get my drivers license and go back.

Right now I'm basically just counting down the minutes until my friends are coming over and we can pop the bottles and then go to the concert.
I've only seen Beyonce once before, and that is many years ago in gothenburg. I google it and I'd say it was in 2009.... Since then I would say not only have I developed but she has become more powerful and inspiring too.
So to go and see her concert now I'm sure will inspire me much more this time. Because now I know my goals and what kind of life I want to create for my self.

She has SO many quotes that will help anyone to take a part of her mindset and her power, but today I chose this one.

​The other day one of my close colleagues came to me and said... 
​"You are such a fighter, I'm telling your story to SO many people"
​and my first though was "I haven't done anything..." but when we kept on talking I came to realize that I just haven't let any of my failures get to me, he gave me this compliment just because I haven't quit..... 

And in my world there is absolutely NO chans that I ever will quit either. I will then just give up on my self and my dreams, and I know I deserve better. 

I deserve my dream to become reality. 
I deserve the lifestyle I've always wanted. 
I deserve freedom. 
I deserve happiness. 

So to anyone reading this, NEVER EVER give up on your dream!