Thoughts on life

I really hate this time of the year, at this time the pressure to get a job is so high from my families side. Every year I have to listen to my mom ranting about me getting a job and it's stressing me out. It is difficult to live in a home where you hear about everything you do wrong and should do. I have a problem with "getting out there", I am a very nervous person and it is something I should work on. I remember the first Judo practice I had, I cried before because I was so nervous about the whole thing. Who will be there? How will it be like? Will they like me? etc. For me getting a job would mean to get job experience (and money) but the biggest thing would be to show my mom that I have to accomplished something. I am so tired of listening to my mom ranting about how I should live my life, how I am not good enough. I listen to how my mom did it when she was young, how she had jobs, how she don't know any young person that does not have a job. Every time she sees someone my age who has a job (people I know) she will comment on it and make me feel bad. I am so TIRED and STRESSED and to be given this extra burden is not helping. At the moment I am not in the best mental state and these things make it worse. I don't want to live at home any longer but at the same time I don't have a job and I will take a gap year, but I am just so tired.

Amanda

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