Hello, and welcome,
My name is Amalie, and I'm 23 years old. Every time people look at me, I believe they think "what is wrong with you?", because I've always got told I'm weird, a freak, who don't deserves to be happy, have friends or a life. I'm used to getting hurt. I can't even have a boyfriend, because I feel he thinks that about me, too, even though I know he loves me.
But who am I? I'm a 23-year old girl, from Europe, who struggles with her mental health. I'm diagnosed with autism and anorexia, even though my anorexia-diagnosis is old. Apparently you can't get your (mental) diagnoses removed, like ever, so you're stuck with it. I would lie if I said I wasn't relapsing, because I am. It does not only hurt me, but also my boyfriend and my family. I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because my voices tell me to do so, because "I need to get rid of all of my friends / my boyfriend", so I can lose weight in peace. But guess what... people do care, even though it doesn't feel like it. Please do not tell me what I'm doing hurts other people, because I'm very well aware of that. I just can't stop.
Above you see my every day shoes, and the reason why, I'm showing this to you, is, so you can learn more about me, about who is behind this blog. I'm a dancer, and I dance classical ballet, modern ballet, contemporary ballet, jazz ballet, lyrical dance and pole dance. I wonder a lot if I should start dancing tap dance as well. The shoes you see above, is shoes I use every day for dancing, and then the Converse is for everyday-use. I really need a new pair for everyday-use, and I'm wondering if I should buy a pairs of Dr. Martens...
I do have more interests / hobbies than dancing. I love to draw, and maybe someday I'll share some of my drawings on here. I'm not sure, as they're kinda... I don't know which word I should use. My drawings is not for everyone, as it's pictures of what's going on in my mind. Then I've just started to knit. I'm knitting a sweater from Petiteknit called "Novice Sweater", and it's going very well. I'll show it to you once it's done, but for now I'll show you the yarn I'm using for it. You can see it below.
I have many other projects than just the Novice Sweater. I also want to knit a lot of socks from Sandnes and from a book I borrowed at the library. I also want to knit some blouses I call "The Ballet Wrap", which I'll use for dance. Below you can see what I'm talking about. The first socks is from Sandnes, and I'm going to knit 40 pairs, because I've found so many pretty colors in the yarn it's made from, which by the way is called "Sandnes Sisu". The second socks is from a library book, and I'm going to knit 10 pairs of those. Of The Ballet Wrap I'm going to knit 10-15 of them, because they're so beautiful, and I'm definitely going to use them a lot. The Ballet Wrap is from Knitting For Olive's.
Besides that I really adore people who can play the violin and the piano, so I'm also going to take that up. It's kinda expensive to play those instruments, especially if you want your own instruments, which I do. This has made me make a budget. I will put some money to the side each month, for rent, food, phone bill, insurances, medication, dance lessons, music lessons, dance equipment, savings, music instruments, drawing equipment, knitting equipment, YouTube subscription and Netflix subscription. By the way, do you see some Netflix-shows currently? I've just watched "Bates Motel" (waiting for season 5), and currently I'm watching "Marianne", which I'm not so sure if I like. It's very scary though.
Well, I don't think I have more to say right now. I do want to say thank you for stopping by, and please come back sometimes soon!
P.S. Some of the pictures aren't mine!