HEY GUYS! you may or may not know but I have a youtube channel. I have had this channel for so long but I've always done like a stop-start thing with it. SO this time I hope I will be able to keep it up, I know I do not have much of a following in all of my social media stuff but I just love talking to the camera and all that so yeah! If you wanna check it out the link is below!


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I know I have not being blogging, or doing anything at all for that matter. I feel like all I have done this past year is work, and its not even like I am gaining money because to be quite honest I have not. I have just been working my ass of for nothing, well nothing is probably a little bit too rash but yeah. I have nothing to say about the past months that I have not updated anything on here, because I have said have basically nothing to say apart from I have been working A LOT.

I wanted to come on here and talk about relationships, not just romantic relationships, but relationships between family and friends. I feel like I have been a strong bridge between my family, or I think they think that I am a strong bridge that holds things together, but to be honest I am not. As we all know, I moved to Northern Ireland in 2014, not in a good way, I wasn't in a good place with my mom back then, she was going through depression and I decided to move, I didn't even tell my parents or anybody apart from my best friend that I was moving. So, I booked a one way ticket to Dublin and that was it. I didn't even have the guts to tell my mom directly, I waited until the last minute to tell her, actually, I waited until I had a plan. But anyway, getting off topic now, I moved, didn't tell my parents, since then I feel like everything at home has just been so hard, specially for my mom. She is stuck there with my brother who is a teenager and has CRAY mood swings and my dad, which has problems on its own. I often read messages from mom and brother how things are not ok sometimes, and that this and that has happened. Now, I don't want to get into the specifics of what exactly is happening but trust me when I say its bad. I love my family but I hate it when they tell me things but I literally can't do anything about it, I am not there, I don't know how to fix things like this.

I can barely fix my own relationship problems how in the world am I supposed to fix things from miles and miles away. I recently when to Berlin, to see my best friend Vanessa and also to meet her man. And it was awesome, but I have to explain some things. V, this is for you.

I love you more than words can explains and I have said this multiple times, I have never met anyone like you, I have never met anyone so passionate about things that they actually care about. You made me feel like i belonged somewhere in gymnasium. You made the 3 years of gymnasium less of a living hell that it was. I know I have not known you since birth but I feel like I have, I connected with you like we were meant to know each other from birth. I am sorry for leaving you in 2014, I missed you everyday, and I still miss you. I'm sorry I don't message you a lot, mainly because I am always working and I am always tired and I just fail at everything. I need to apologies for my efforts in Berlin, I know you said to not worry about it but deep in my heart I am aching, every time I think about the days where I could have done so many things with you, made so many memories but I didn't, Berlin was supposed to be our week, you and me, VI, but i ruined it, I ruined everything. I'm sorry for not dancing the night away with you, I'm sorry we didn't see the cow wall, I'm sorry we didn't get a photobooth picture of just the two of us, I'm sorry we didn't get to make our own chocolate bars. I am eternally sorry. I'm sorry I made you feel like you would rather be anywhere else but there. I'm sorry. I would do anything and everything to get back some of those days and just be with you and not think about any other shit that is going on in my brain. I hope you don't regret the trip, I hope you don't regret still being my friend, I hope you don't regret getting our tattoo. You, Vanessa mean the world to me, if anything happened to you I would fly back and be by your side in a heartbeat. I hope you still find in your heart to forgive me and let me make up for my failure. And I do hope you don't hate me after writing this. I am basically confessing my love to you haha

Ok, I think that is enough for me, I need to drink some water and dry me eyes and face. V, I love you so much



2016 is over. 2016 was incredibly confusing. But i learned a lot during 2016. I loved everything that happened in 2016, I do not regret anything. I got to experience things I would not have experienced if I didn't just throw myself right in to it. This year I learned to take the things seriously, well the things that is deserving to be taken seriously at least. I learned to put my life into perspective, I have my family, adam, adams family (which is also my family), my friends...

Now the friends part, I can actually honestly only count my true friends with just one hand. Growing up I felt like Im always the one to have so many friends around but I never really had a true true friend. I moved a lot, I moved to a different continent for christ sake haha but now I have amazing friends, and I would no anything to keep them for as long as they want me to be in their lives.

Ok anyways! I have work tomorrow haha 6:00 am, I love my job so much! I have got to get back to my whole vlogging thing, I do enjoy making videos haha. Also I am sorry if i have no interesting pictures to show, Im just words, all words!

Thank you for reading! Until I make another post, you guys take care!



Today was quite a stressful day. Well I made it practically stressful for everyone. I got so annoyed that Adam didn't plan this one thing that him and my dad and triune was supposed to do. So I, the crazy bitch that I am, literally picked up a fight with Adam at like 9 am because "he didn't plan well enough". Man sometimes I wonder what the heck is going on in my own brain. I think I am very lucky to have Adam in my life haha he is just so good to me and I am such a crazy person.

While they went and did all the things they were suppose to do, I have to go and meet my bosses for a business meeting, I love these kinds of stuff haha. I am in no way shape or form a business minded person (I don't think) but I do love to talk about the business that I am in. They gave me more responsibilities which I am nothing but thankful and excited for and also we talked about possibly franchising the business in Sweden(!!!!!!!!) I love my job so much, I am not sure if I am going to be a working chef forever but I will definitely be in the hospitality + Catering industry.

There is only 6 days left of my family being here and I am going back to work on Monday. But I am trying to spend as much time as I can with them, because honestly I have no idea when I will be able to see them again, I have no idea when I will have the time to go back to Sweden. I'm sure there will be a time but right now its just so unclear. Also I may be the worst friend in existence. Vanessa bought me and sent me Christmas gift and I have not even wrapped hers and shipped hers off!!!! I have most of her presents but I just want to make sure that everything is there, thats why I'm probably going to town tomorrow, have another look in the shops that she would possibly like and see if I can find anything for her. IT WILL BE THERE SOON LUV, ME PROMISE <3

Until I make another post, you guys, take care!



Wow, is all I can say. One surprise to another. These past weeks/months has been so amazing, way to end 2016 am I right ladies?? So I was feeling really down and sad because it is the holiday seasons and I always spend it in Sweden, even when I moved out I always flew back to see my friends and family but this year I didn't have enough money to book any ticket for Christmas and New Year. But little did I know Adam and his family has already planned for my family to come over for Christmas. THIS WAS THE SURPRISE ADAM HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR MONTHS!!! Literally months, like since October, so they have all been keeping me under a rock! but you know what I loved my surprise and I am enjoying every second of it.

If you guys did not know, I actually did Vlogmas but I failed miserably haha I tried really hard but work has been so busy during december and I just did not have any time to film and edit. I couldn't find any time to film because I was always at work and I didn't want to film at work.. I am just not sure if my boss and co workers would be fine with it, and me filming at 6 am in the morning saying "hi guys it 6 am and I am on my way to work, I will see you in 8+ hours" is not really my definition of interesting haha. But who knows you know maybe next year will be better. And I will still put out a couple of vlogs here and there, maybe some other videos too.

Now, as we speak, I am all alone at home, Adam just left for work, mom, dad and triune when to the Giants Causeway with my moms friend and her husband. Tomorrow Adam and I taking them to the titanic museum and it's going to be fun for them. while they are doing that adam and I are going to see if we can find a new years outfit and a anniversary gift for Adams dad and his wife. Last year they took us with them to a cruise for they anniversary and this year I just want to maybe find something they wold enjoy. If not, a nice bouquet of flowers is my go to :o

Well this is me for now, until I make another post, you guys take care! xo



It has been a little over 7 months since the last time i wrote here and you know what, IM NOT EVEN GONNA TRY AND MAKE SOME LAME EXCUSE to why I have been M.I.A (lol) Ok, so shall we take it from where we left off? It's going to be a long looong post. Ready? Here we go...

APRIL - My birth month and I turned the big 21, me, being me, I didn't plan anything at all, just planned to be at home and chill maybe watch a movie or whatever but then ofc Adam and his family has planned this whole surprise. They took me for a meal and surprised me WITH A FUCKING SUSHI CAKE!!!! After my birthday april just went as fast as it came (that's what she said ;D)

MAY - To be quite honest with you, I have no single idea what happened in may, I think this was the month where I just drowned myself with homework and final test and all that stuff. The reason why I was doing this was I wanted to finish college as fast as I can without messing shit up. And that was May.

June - Early June, I finished college already. By now I have been working like 30-40 hours a week (which is like so much more than what I used to do while I was in college) at my wonderful job and I have been saying soooo much for lots of things. And that was June, work work work work work. And yeah ADAM PASSED HIS DRIVING TEST!!!!

July - Now July was something else, July was special. First off all I got to see Vanessa, whom I have missed since the day I said goodbye :( and also we were gonna see OUR QUEEN B, FREAKING BEYONCÉ, IN FREAKING GLASGOW. Vanessa and I were only reunited for about 3 days but god how it felt good. She is somebody I would never want to lose. Also Adam was there but cmon Vanessa+Beyoncé... Sorry Adam I love you but yeah you'll understand haha

August - I have no idea what happened. But on the 11th of August 2016, we got our very first car, a Peugeot 208 and we named her OTEO. ALSO I think by this time I was struggling with thoughts of going back to college. I applied for a Patisserie course but I was not as in to it as I was with my previous courses. It just didn't excite me so I was so torn between going full-time work or going back to college.

September - Adam's birthday month. He also turned 21. I still have not passed my driving test haha, I haven't even tried passing it yet.. I'm scared!! Still working, been probably working more than I've ever done in my whole entire life.

October - So on my last post I said something along the lines of 'we are saving for a car, to move out, to get a gym membership...' bla bla bla guess what WE FUCKING DID ALL THAT! I really can't believe we have done all of it bu we have and god it feels so good. We are broke AF right now but it's all going to be worth it.

And well, that brings us to now, I am working 45-50 hours per week, have a house, a car, and I am endlessly thankful of all the things I have and I got and all the people I have in my life, near or far. I adore every single one of you. It's almost Christmas, all I want to do is go home to Sweden to see and feel snow, also see my family and friends and Vanessa... God I miss her. I miss my family, I miss my friends. I miss Sweden. I also really need to go to sleep, working at 6:00 tomorrow morning so I should get my 8-9 hours of sleep if I go to sleep right.about.now.

But until I make another post, you guys take care!



This blog post is going to be so so boring. But all I want to do is to speak what is on my mind...

Lately I have been finding it very hard to speak for myself and do whatever I like to do. I am a very independent person and feeling trapped and captured just makes me what to do something so rebellious (but ofc I would never) I have been planing to go home to Sweden for Easter but of course the plane tickets are not to my favour. I miss my family, friends and Vanessa my best friend. I know I saw them in December but that is not enough. Sometimes I feel like I am just in the verge of giving up because I feel such a tremendous feeling of missing and lost. When I feel like this I just want to pack up and leave. But as soon as a thought like this comes across I always spring back to why I am here in the first place. I am here to build my future, because I am 100% sure that if I was in Sweden all these time, I might still be unemployed and still be living off - off my parents money. And having your own income is the most satisfying and liberating feeling in the world. Being able to support yourself (even partially) is an achievement on its own.

Speaking of achievements, IFEX happened and well, I got Bronze. Maybe not the best for how much we had to do and the time we had to give for this but the experience is worth so much more. All the good times and the bad times we all shared was incredible. I won't get into details of the whole SCAM of the awarding ceremony but let's just move on, I guess....

Apart from seeing my loved ones in Sweden ASAP as my priority, Adam and I have a billion and one other things as our priority. Driving, getting a car, moving out, getting a gym membership. Yes I know... It's not really "a billion and one" but close enough. I feel like such an adult for doing all these but you know what it has been such a great process, I enjoy being an adult with Adam, everything feels so right with him... Yes I am in love.

For the driving part, its going very well, Adam passed his theory test and I could not be any prouder! So thats really one step closer to getting one of our drivers license haha. Getting a car and getting a car goes hand in hand. BOTH OF THEM COSTS A FREAKING FORTUNE. But it has to be done, the moving out bit might not happen until (hopefully) after summer, but getting a car we are putting right under Sweden. Now for the getting a gym membership, for about a month now I have been trying to cut down on unnecessary shit that I eat and I have been very good with it. I don't see any result or anything but I didn't really expect to, but for a next step I think I am soon ready for a gym membership and Adam is with me too, which makes things so much more exciting! Who knows I might just gift myself a year of gym membership as a 21st birthday present LOL

So yes, so sorry for this long as boring post but this is what is on my mind



Hello... It's me! (so cheesy) I'm back, well I can't and won't make promises BUT at least I am here. So lets see... what happened since my last post let's sum this up by month :

Late December - Early Janaury

After saying goodbye to my loved ones in Sweden it was time to go back to Norn Iron ( Northern Ireland) It was bitter-sweet. Bitter because as soon as I left Sweden I missed everyone just as much as before I arrived but also very sweet because I get to see my Adam again and my family here too. I left Sweden on the 27th of December and I was flying back quite late, and then 6 am the next morning we were travelling again to Southampton, England. Elizabeth and Simon was so sweet and kind enough to not only spoil us with presents for christmas but also invited us to go on a cruise (THANK YOU!!!) to Brugge and supposedly Amsterdam but... we'll get to that later.

Soo basically from when I flew to Sweden until we got in the ship I was travelling the whole entire time! I LOVE TRAVELLING. I will make another post about my travel plans with my loved ones. But with travelling so much my skin was freaking the fuck out, spots everywhere!! It's still trying to recover but its slowly getting there. Anyway, so cruise. My god it was the biggest damn ship I have ever been on, it was like a whole freaking city with motors and propellers!

The picture of the ship doesn't really do it any justice but there it was the P&O Cruises "Ventura". And ofc when "In Brugge" you must visit the clocktower!!! we were #fangirling. Ok so we went to Brugge, it was amazing! we shopped a little but not too much because we are saving for so many things at the moment haha, being responsible adults and all. After that we were suppose to sail to Amsterdam BUUUUT that did not happen, the waves were too strong and the wind as well, so our captain decided not to risk anything, so from the 30th of January until the 2nd of january we were slooowly sailing back to Southampton, we were slower than turtles.. honestly haha but I honestly like going on cruises I would definitely save up and go on another one in the future.

Now let's speed up to....

Mid January - Now

January has been a very very busy month, with tech on going again, and also work I've just been on it 24/7 hence the absence... January was our anniversary month too, 2 years with my goober, WOW time flies! I love him more than ever. We just went for dinner at Wagamamas and well walked around town. And then that brings us to now, a couple of days ago it was my best friends 21st birthday and I'm so sad that I couldn't be there to spend it with her but I tried my best to give here little presents anyway, and I hope she liked them hihi, Love you Nessa! And after that it was Valentines day woohoo believe it or not it was the 3rd year Adam and I spent Valentines day together abd it still gives me chills <3 Since I was gonna be working on the actual day we went for a meal and a movie on friday and just chilled the whole weekend, it was an amazing weekend!

And as if RIGHT NOW, it is half term break but for me and a few more student who are competing on the 8th of March for IFEX its 8 am call time for us for our 4th run through! It's getting really intense but fun at the same time! So I guess that's all for now, Im gonna drink some water and head to sleep...

Thank you for talking you sweet sweet time and I'll see you soon



December 23, 2015

So this is my first post, don't really know what to write more than IT WAS AMAZING SEEING MY LOVELY VANESSA AGAIN. This girl means so much to me and I dont even think she knows how much she really mean to me. But, let us rewind to 8 am this morning. I arrived at her place that early because we wanted to spend as much time as possible with each other #goals. We had a nice and cozy breakfast at Espresso House and then a thought struck us, we wanted to get tattoos. The impulsive Aries that I am then said "lets get it today!!". But of course we didn't, it took us a long looong time to find what we wanted the tattoo to look like. in the end it ended with Vanessa doodling spaceships and dinasaurs.

After that we got so hungry that we spent so much money on sushi, it was so much money it was ridic but it was so worth it.

After the AMAZEBALLS sushi, we went and walked around town a little bit and just made the most of our time together before we head back to her place to talk some more and then said our goodbyes. We were getting a bit more emotional than we wanted to so we had to just say goodbye or else we would ball our eyes out. LoveyouNessa!

December 22, 2015

This day I met up with another girl I can't see living life without, and that is Guste, my little poodle! Again we ate sushi haha seems like all we do is take polariods and eat sushi oh well, I'm certainly not complaining. Guste and I have a long long history, we have known each other since 2009. She's probably one of my oldest friends that I've kept in touch with. And honestly, life without these two girls (and Adam and our families) would be worthless. LoveyouGuste!

The hardest thing that I have ever have to deal with apart from leaving my family, is not seeing my friends as often as I used to. I do not regret my move to Northern Ireland but sometimes I wish I could just pack all of them in my suitcase so I can have them, OR have a miniture version of them, which ever works.

Well this is it for tonight folks, I'm gonna go ahead and continue chatting with my wonderful amazing boyfriend (I'm not cheesy at all). Good Night, Stay smiling!