Almost everyone are insecure of their own body and tend to hate some bodypart they have. But my insecurity is a bit different than people usually have.
I have an atopic skin like the rest of my family has as well. Therefore when I was a child I had a bad rash so I tend to scrath my skin so much that my pigment sort of just disappeared on some areas and left white marks on my skin. So now I have them mostly on my legs - white spots and areas that don't have any pigment on them.
This kind of a skin condition is called Vitiligo. It's a long-term chronic skin condition that causes white patches to develop on the skin due to the lack of melanin. It means they occur when skin pigment cells die or are unable to function. Usually they are permanent and you can't really do anything to them. But for me it's different. I've noticed that almost every year they get smaller and smaller, because they get the real pigment back when I tan.
My family never freaked out when I got those white marks, because my dad had the same problem when he was at my age, so it runs in the family. But luckily it's not permanent, because like mine- his white marks got away too. Eventhough it hasn't been that big of a deal, I've still felt different and was scared to use skirts and shorts to school, because I didn't want anyone to think I'm a weird girl with the white marks on my legs. I tried to gather up my confidence and ignored that my legs looked different than other people. Like then- even now I get a lot of weird looks at me when I'm walking on the street.
I remember it first started from my shoulder and I didn't even realize what it was. All I thought was that now I had kind of the same birth mark that the princess Anneliese has in the barbie movie "Princess and the Pauper" (I was really young and it was my favorite movie, also Anneliese has a crown on her shoulder and I have random dots). But then they started to appear on my legs and after that also in my left eyelid too. Then couple of years ago they appeared on my finger tips as well, but you can only see them in the summer, when I get tanned. But last year I saw that also on both sides on my mouth had appeared two small white spots and I freaked out, because I had thought that they wouldn't appear anymore. I started looking at all the marks and crying, because I absolutely hated how I look and thought that why am I the one who got these and not my sister or brother. After thinking a lil bit I realized that the only one who is bothered by how I look is me. Not anyone else. And that was the first time when I really went to Google and searched what Vitiligo is. Later that day I found Chantelle Brown-Young. She is a former America's Next Top Model contest who has permanent Vitiligo all over her body. I understood that my problem isn't that big, than some people have. I have very little marks compared to Chantelle, but eventhough she looks different she has showed that you got to embrace your differences and learn to accept who you are. Only one who can tell you that you look ugly is you. That's why you have confidence. It's like a shield that protects you from mean comments. I don't say that it's easy to accept yourself, but seriously would you really want to be someone else rather than you? It has taken a lot of time for me to accept that I'm different and I'm still fighting, it isn't easy. But the best weapon anyone can have is confidence.
Here is a few pics of Chantelle.