Hey blog
I was suppose to sleep...
But I got too much on my mind
Things that aren't even worth stressing about
But somehow I still do..
It's ridiculous
I just want to turn off and get some sleep!
That would be great
But for now, I'm just on my phone, writing this nonsense...
Missing people I shouldn't be missing
Reading old conversations and wishing for my old life
I'm a mess
And I honestly just want a friend to talk to
But it's not that easy
At least not to me
I don't know about you readers, but I always have trouble to continue a conversation or what to say next
I mean.. if you actually know me, you'll get that I'm pretty sarcastic most of the time, I can't really be that serious.. but not everyone understand my humor.. if I can even call it that
And I'm only like that around the people I feel comfortable around
So it's not everyone
The ones I don't feel quite comfortable around I just try to not be too much in front of them.. because I'm afraid they'll find me annoying
I know that I shouldn't care what people are thinking and I've gotten pretty good at ignoring the negative energy, but sometimes it just gets to me, you know.. and I feel all insecure and stuff
I don't know.. it's easier when you're with someone who knows you.. then you don't feel so insecure anymore
I don't know..
This post is random..
The person who told me to just text them whenever I needed to talk to someone isn't replying so I figured I'd just talk to you lovelies
Holding my own hand :)
Though I'm talking to everyone here, so it's not really my own hand, but your hand as well
Anyways, I should try to close my eyes for a bit now and visit dreamland :)
Thank you for listening!




My Day, Thoughts

Sorry loves!

My laptop doesn't want to render my London vlog this week..

I've literally tried to export it for 2 weeks now, and it just doesn't want to..

It keeps crashing,

So I'll try to edit it again but in Windows Movie Maker..

I know it's not the best editing program to use when trying to deliver something good.

But I just don't know what to do.

So it might take a bit longer than I thought since I really want it to turn out good and since I'm using Windows Movie Maker it'll just be a pain, but hey! At least it'll turn out alright ey :)!

What else is there to share?

I went to town today, ate at Yogiboost once again hahah.. I'm addicted.

But I'm not spending that much anymore hahha!

And they I went to get my eyes checked (?)

Step one when learning how to drive hahah. I don't know.

But I feel like I was really blind, because I couldn't see shit haha

I don't really have that much to share today.

I totally forgot that everyone is on break this week, so there were a lot of people in town hahah...

It's already Thursday as well!

Oh my gosh! What am I doing with my life...?!?!?

Anyways, that was basically everything that happened today :)

Oh... yesterday..

my phone beeped, and I didn't really think anything of it, but it was reminding me that it was the 22nd... and my heart sunk

It made me so sad, but I just have to accept what it is ... was...

Like a weird habit I screenshotted it...

Lately the 22nd has been a sad one for me because the one person who I want to speak to the most is just gone, and reminding myself of the day we met... makes my heart sad.

especially since it's been a while since we actually talked on out monthly anniversary ...

Oh well...

Yes it's Dylan O'Brien... HAHAH it was between Dylan O´Brien and Jack Maynard!

I got them both though!! hahah

Since guys in real life are jerks, then I figured I'd just have a crush on celebrities!

They can't really disappoint me the same way haha

Don't be afraid to explore






Good afternoon blog :)

I hope you are all having a lovely day!

I just wrote in my diary how proud I am of myself and thought that I could share it on the blog as well.

For those who don't know me I used to be really sad and usually cry every night to the point where I just passed out and woke up with red and puffy eyes.

Lately, I have not cried at all.

I've gotten teary, but I have not cried.

I am pretty proud of that, because I never thought that I'd ever be able to fall asleep without tears streaming down my face.

And I remember when I went through one night wihout tears, how proud I was because of one night, and thought that it was start of something new but it didn't last long. I was back to crying myself to sleep again.

Now I can honestly say that I'm proud of myself!

I never thought I'd actually feel good about myself. Never thought I'd ever stop crying myself to sleep for no reason.

Never thought I'd ever be able to stop breaking my own heart.

Life is not all great though. Hahah, but I'm just proud of myself for being to fall asleep without tears :)!

Anyways, that was just something small I wanted to share:)

Don't be afraid to explore






(This post contains links)

So... I've never really been into fashion and stuff, I dress in whatever I feel comfortable in.

But the last hour I've been quite bored so I decided to try out MetaPics, and found it quite fun.

So I set up this little collage :)

(click on the clothes to get to the website) :)

If the links on the pictures don't work then you can find the clothes down here:)!

Click here for the white top / here for the bomber jacket / here for the ripped jeans / here for the earring / here for the bracelet

Click here for the off shoulder knot blouse / here for the high wasted jeans / here for the black choker necklace

Click here for the pinkish choker top / here for the white jeans / here for the rings / here for the dreamcatcher necklace

Now this collage probably looks crappy hahah.

It's my first, so please bear with me!!

I'll get better :D!!

Also.. this took ages hahah but I enjoyed it :)!!

Don't be afraid to explore






I found this text on Twitter and really felt hit by the words, even started to tear up because it really got to me.

It sucks to feel unwanted and it sucks to keep trying to figure out what I did wrong, or what's wrong with me as a person...

If you can, then please don't hurt someone by just cutting contact without a word.

Because that really sticks to the person. And it's hard to open up again.

No one deserves to be left like that..





So... last night, my friend and I watched The Perfect Man

For those who have not seen it, you should!

Anyways, it has been a while since I last saw it, and when I did....

The actor who plays Adam who falls in love with Holly, the teenage daughter...

He reminded me about a guy I fell in love with.

Adam in the movie is funny, goofy, adorable, he draws.

And the guy I fell in love with was... is... funny, goofy, absolutely adorable and he draws as well..

They look quite alike as well, so it made it a bit hard to watch the movie.

It made me miss him..

Which sucks but oh well hahah

Sometimes you just have to hold your own hand, and be there for yourself :)

And that's what I've been doing :)

Or trying to.

It's not quite easy, and seeing that movie last night took me back to square one.

I'm not sure what my purpose of this text was. I guess I just got some things off my mind :)


My friend ended up going home, after saying it for 3 hours and falling asleep all the time...

So annoyed, since she wasn't suppose to spend the night..

I mean.... there was a reason for me not wanting to spend time at my place because she always falls asleep...

And she always says that she wants to travel with me but she can barely stay up after 10...

I don't want to go to another country to sleep...

So no thanks..

I'm just full of everything now... hahah.

So many thoughts and no one to talk to...

I don't think it's the smartest to write it in public... but oh well..

No one knows who I am :)


I hope you lovelies are having a good morning, and that you'll have a good day :)

Don't be afraid to explore





Food, My Day, Thoughts

Hi there!

So, I know it's late.

But I have been promising myself to blog at least once every day, and I'm sticking to it!

Today started off chill.

Actually no,

I woke up at 5 a.m. by something falling on me and I freaked out because I was afraid it was a spider...

Though I couldn't find anything...

So a bit freaked out.

But I ended up falling back asleep!

And then I started off with a decent breakfast :)

I made pancakes.

And then my friend texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out.

Bored as I was, I said yes, because why not. I get out of the house.

But nope..

She wanted to spend the day at my house...

A bit annoyed I tried to talk her out of it and we started having dinner in town.

And then... She somehow talked me into watching a movie at my house...


Now she fell asleep beside me and her car is blocking the way for my dad's...

I honestly don't mind if she wanted t spend the night... but please, let me know if so..

Especially during a weekday when my parents are working the next day and need to get their car out....

Also.. she basically spent most of her time on her phone instead of watching that damn movie..

I m also guilty for spending a lot of time on my phone, but not like that..

And not anymore..

I've learned to put my phone away because I've accepted the fact that no one wants to talk to me anymore..

This girl seriously needs to wake up now.. because I want my bed and I wanna sleep....


Sleep at home..

Now this is just pissing me off...

"Give me 10 minutes" my ass...

No, wake the fuck up and get away from here..

I didn't want to spend time at my house anyway because I knew that you were gonna get bored to the point where you fall asleep...


At least I don't fall asleep at other people's houses if I don't plan on actually spending the night there...

What the hell...

Now I'm just really mad and I don't know how to wake her up other than typing reallly loud on my laptop...

But not even that seems to wake her up...

I mean... We didn't even talk about anything while at my place so we could've just cut it short when finishing the pizza...


I'm just really mad...

Though the pizza was good!

Don't be afraid to explore





My Day, Music


So another day has passed.

I started it with driving for hald an hour.

I think my dad almost shit himself when he was teaching me how to reverse hahahha.

But oh well

He's not really the best teacher.

I don't have that much to write to be honest.

I can't export my video.. which sucks.

I don't have any pictures today,

Since I basically spent most of the day recording myself playing piano!

I'm pretty exhausted, since I just worked out.

Ran longer than usual!

Which I'm impressed with!

I'm so obsessed with Ed Sheeran, and it makes me sad that I won't be able to see him live:(

I really wanna go to Spain to see him, since the plane ticket and the consert ticket will cost just as much as only the consert ticket in Stockholm!

I'll leave you lovelies with an Ed Sheeran song :)!

Don't be afraid to explore





My Day


Today I went driving, the second time.

First time I drove with my sister's boyfriend, but that was just, steer the wheel and stuff hahah.

Today, I drove with my dad.

I'm actually surprised he didn't shit himself.

Though he was close as he almost grabbed the wheel from me!

But I managed, I didn't crash, I sorta leanred how to break and also go from 1 to 2.

Have no idea what that actually means, but I almost shit myself with my mum and dad screaming as they tried to explain.

Though my mother doesn't know how to drive, she acts as if she knows.

But it was fun, I guess.

I just hate how they scream and expect me to understand, and they talk about stuff that I don't have to know just yet.

It's like... please just let me understand how to control the car first and drive and then talk about what else I should focus on.

Because today was information overboard.

Anyways, after that we went to buy some groceries and ate :)

It was yummy and I'm surprised I actually finished my plate!

Since we usually share one plate between the three of us, but today, I didn't have lunch so I got my own plate:D

Anyways, that was basically my day

I can't render my videoo.....

Which sucks crap!

But I'll manage.. somehow.

I've gotten waaaayyy too addicted to reading recently as well, which is what I wanted, but I feel like all my time is going to reading.

HAHAH also, I'm learning how to play Für Elise (is that what it's called?) on the piano, and it's actually going surprisingly well :D!!

Don't be afraid to explore






I'm seriously stuck in this place called home..

But it's not home..

Not the kind of home I want.

I want to get out and travel.

Right now I'm...

I don't even know to be honest.

Just writing this makes me stomach turn and my heart hurt because I hate the thought of being here.

It's hard for me to express my feelings, heck if it was easy I would probably be locked up in this house for good!

I'm bored.

And I feel like if I don't get some new activity I'll lose myself.

Though, I don't really know what to do.

I can't travel, though that's what I really want!

I need to get out of this country and see something new!

That'll give me happiness.

But where to go, I don't know..

And I don't really wanna go by myself.

But everyone is busy either working or studying or just living...

Though I don't really have any friends to hang out with anymore.

Or talk with.

So maybe traveling by myself won't be that bad after all?

I don't know..

I just feel like I'm losing my mind.

Traveling is the only way to help

Don't be afraid to explore