You judge. I judge. We all judge. The only difference is how successful a person is in sufficiently shoving it aside. And how much we show our opinion.
My judgment journey has taken many turns, and is at it´s later stage of accepting ones intuition.
In my case, it started off when I was young. A teenager. That’s when you create your own cast system. Everybody has an place in he food chain, the strong have clearly urinated throughout their territory, and the weak have accepted it, even though they protest from time to time.
Then comes the early 20s. That’s when you want to travel, open your mind, learn. Your brain is openly receptive to any input it can get, and embraces it. Who am I to judge? You are so judgemental. People should be who they are, let them be. Just because someone looks dodgy he or she might not be dodgy at all. This, in my opinion, is when you might get used. By someone you don´t have a good feeling about, however choose to let in, because you don´t want to be that person who judges someone innocent to the accusations. This, is when young woman choose to trust stranger men, they want to have fun and be free. This, is when men get acquaintances that might only get friendly involved for the sole purpose of using them. And if you reject them due to their unethical behavior, they blame it all on you, and make you feel bad, so that you not even for a second have the breathing space to recognize that you might just be right. That your gut feeling, indeed was valid.
Then comes the late 20s. That’s when you have traveled, you have seen, you have made mistakes, very possibly gone through a quarter life crisis (yeah it´s a thing..) and gotten your heart broken. You have lived a little and you have (hopefully) learnt. And again, your judgment radar takes on a slightly different shape. This is when you start to be braver in the statement that it is okey, if not necessary, to judge. To create your own opinion. To trust that you, without even noticing, have paid attention to certain signals from a person, accumulated them if your secret place in your brain, analyzed them and your brain has sent the analysis down to your nervous system which expresses itself in a gut feeling. This happens without you noticing and it is a survival system that is kick started for you to detect if a situation is different, suspicious or potentially dangerous. The human has the ability to quickly analyze a situation and questions if the outcome is reasonable. There is a reason there is something like a gut feeling.
You might be wrong. But you might not. Judging is an important part of our every day life. It is important to pay attention to your surrounding, and you DO have the right to have an opinion about the world around you. But what is even more important is to always be open to get proven wrong. In a good way as much as a bad way. There is always a reason for the behavior of people. It might not be an excuse, but it will be an interesting explanation. Let people surprise you, give them one, give them two chances to prove you wrong. And embrace what they given your way. And be ready to change your mind once more. If you possess that ability, then you have nothing to apologize for.