Today has been absolutely amazing. I had a great morning, and i've been in a good mood the whole day. The most odd, fantastic and worthy thing happened me and my friend today. It actually happened an hour ago. Usually i don't like to tell people when things like this happen, because i don't want it to sound like i'm bragging. But this is such a beautiful occurrence, so i felt like i had to share it.

Me and my friend Rajan agreed to meet up and take a walk, as we usually do. As always i was late, so she arrived to the place we always meet up, before me. Rajan called me and i thought that she was calling me to tell me, to hurry up. That wasn't the case. I heard something different about her voice, she sounded nervous. All of a sudden she say " Mariama hurry up, there's this random guy standing here and talking to me". She laughed, so i thought for myself, it can't be something dangerous. I asked her, "is it someone i know", i thought maybe its an old friend who wanted to surprise me or something. But she was still acting weird and was kind of whispering on the phone. After that i went straight out to get her, i got paranoid lol. I thought maybe someone wants to hurt her or something. I hurried as fast as i could.

All of a sudden i see Rajan walking towards me, with a guy i've never seen my whole life. I was like okaaay, what is this lol. The guy introduced himself, and said he needed someone to talk to. The boy was a teenager, and looked like a normal teenager. Me and Rajan were shocked when he said that. Matter of fact, we were so shocked that we asked if it was a social experiment lol. I was like were are the cameras. It's very odd when a seventeen year old ask to speak, with random people on the street. That's why me and Rajan thought that it was a social experiment lol. Anyways he said no, and there we could sense that something was wrong, so i immediately asked him if someone did him any harm. He replied "No i just want to talk to someone". We agreed to sit down and talk to him. At the moment it still felt strange, but something told us that this guy really needs to talk. He sounded very desperate.

He began to explain what had happened. He used to live in a city far away from mine, called sundsvall. There he lived with his mom, dad and siblings. After a while he moved to hässleholm by himself. In hässleholm his life started to get messy, he hung around bad surroundings. And then he lost his apartment. Then he moved in with a friend for a while, but that didn't last long, the friend had to move. So this seventeen year old became homeless. Homeless all alone, with no family or friends by his side. Me and rajan freaked out!!!! we asked where he sleeps at night, and he replied in the nearby mosque. He said that he gets offered food and that he has a mattress to sleep on. I asked him why he didn't go home, to his family in sundsvall. He replied that he was ashamed to go home because he felt like a failure. When he said that, our hearts literally broke into thousand pieces. We felt so sorry for him.

We immediately started to encourage him to go back home. Thank god, because after a while of preaching. This boy even got eager to get home to his family. He told us about his dreams and what he did for a living. This boy has ambitions, he is so smart and mature for his age. Currently he is writing his own novel, and in the future he wanted to be a buissness man. This boy has only lived in sweden for about tre years, and he speaks fluent swedish.

The smile he had on his face after we talked to him was priceless. He lightened up and suddenly he said, you two gave me hope. He started thanking us, and then we felt bad. Because we didn't do anything beside talking to him. The boy didn't want money or anything from us besides talking. What we did was common sense, and nothing he had to thank us for. Before he left he said "Gurls i will never forget y'all, i am going home tomorrow".

I don't even know this boy, but i think that he has a bright future in front of him. Before writing this i asked for his permission. Starboy if you ever read this, know that we have faith in you. We will be there when you publish your novell. We wish you the best. Thanks for sharing your journey with us, we also appreciate it. It's a memory we can bring along our whole life.


Do good and good will come to you.

Saidy, Mariama

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Y'all remember when i said "Don't get attached and waste your time on fuckery"???

It's easy to write it down on my blog, but hard to fulfil. When i decide to put boys aside and just focus on me, they attack me harder than ever. It's like when i don't want something i get it, and sometimes when i want something i don't get it. The funny part about all this is that, 90 percent of the boys attacking me lol. Is the same 90 percent i "Got attached and wasted my precious time on". Boy bye, damn. Y'all need to stop texting me, go ruin someone else's life please.

Dear remaining 10 percent. I don't have anything against y'all, some of y'all are really sweet. But right now this queen needs to focus on herself. The timing isn't right, i don't want whatever it is y'all want to give me. I just don't want it lol. Yes this was me throwing shade and making a subliminal message for y'all. Try again in some couple of years maybe.

Kisses Ciaooo

Saidy, Mariama

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Saidy, Mariama

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I would really like to clear my mind, about something that's been disturbing me for awhile now. It's not a secret that women don't get the credit that they deserve. It is not just in a specific department, it is in literally everything we do! I am really starting to get pissed about this. The only difference between a male and a female, is our private parts. What a man can do, a woman can do, if not even better.

The thing that irritates me the most is the music industry. I see all these female artists, not being able to be themselves. Basically women don't have no saying in their career. There is a lack of respect from men in the music industry, and even from the male fans. I have seen males commenting "Oh this sounds good, but it would be better if she showed more ass".

Let's take female emcees for an example. Cardi B fought her whole life to be where she is today. She went from a gang member, to a stripper and to becoming the first female rapper to hit the "Singles chart" in 19 years, since Lauryn Hill. But all you hear is "damn she's a hoe, or she fucked producers to make it". The list goes on and on. Cardi B isn't the only one. Model and actress, Cara Delevingne recently spoke out about being sexually harassed by Harvey Weinstein. There are so many dark sides about being a woman in the making. It's so sad.

Dear men start appreciating us or at least show some fucking respect.

Saidy, Mariama

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Shitty day, shitty weather and shitty shiiiit. When the weather's bad like it was today, my mood gets even worse. I can't remember the last time a was so moody. Today is one of those days where i just say fuck it all.

There are so many things i would like to do with my life, but it feels like i'm stuck here. I feel like this everyday living in this rotten city. But today it went over the line, and i blame the bad weather lol. Don't get me wrong, i really do appreciate my life and what i have. But i feel like i have so much more to offer and i can't do it in helsingborg. I am walking around with all these ideas and dreams, that i cant fulfil at the moment, because in helsingborg you can't get no where in life. At Least not in what i want to succeed in.

To be honest, i am not a small town girl. I don't fit in, in these small cities. I need a big city where people have big dreams and ambitions. A city where you can be yourself without people caring, how you look, what you dress like or whatever the issue is. The only thing that i am holding on too, is that graduation is around the corner. After i graduate that's when life starts forreal. It's actually scary lol. School is the only excuse for me not moving yet, or pursuing my dream a 110 percent.

Anyways i appreciate days like this one. If it wasn't for the bad days, i wouldn't appreciate the good ones.

Sayonara peeps.

Saidy, Mariama

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This weekend has been lit af. Friday me and bella went to Gothenburg. The main reason i went there was because of my family of course, my aunt and my brother live there. Saturday i went to the studio with my brother. Fyi my brother is also a rapper. This was the first time that i've been in a professional studio. All the other times i have been in studios, it has been these "the struggle is real" studios. I was so amazed when i saw the studio, it was bomb af. I learned so much that day. My brother was teaching me all these different things, such as breathing exercises, different flows, attitude and things like that. It was so much fun. If i could, i would spend all my days in that studio. Unfortunately for me, i still have responsibilities in helsingborg. If it wasn't for that i would be in the studio right now lol.

Later that night me and bella went out clubbing, we went to this club called upstairs. I have been there once before, so it wasn't the first time. But to be honest it was just as fun as the last time. Clubbing in Gothenburg is so different from clubbing in helsingborg. Honestly it's on another level. Besides clubbing, Gothenburg in general is better than helsingborg. People are much nicer, they aren't uptight or rude, they seem to live in harmony and they have the cutest accent lol. At Least i don't live so far from gbg!

Saidy, Mariama

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Today i reflected on the thoughts of having a boyfriend, and my vision of it changed drastic. In my teenage years the perfect life was chasing my dreams and finding the love of my life. Now i know that the "finding the love of my life" part is totally useless at this age. Everyone is confused at this age. People giving promises they cant keep, people are half loving each other and some people are even together for the publicity, and not the thing that matters the most. My experience of this back and forth "love" has made me realise that it's all just bullshit. Now you're probably wondering "who did her bad", and it's not even about that lol.

From my point of view people fall in "love" for all the wrong reasons at this age. Every guy i've ever talked to as more than a friend, turned out to be messed up like the rest of them. No offense to my sloppy fuckboys, but y'all the same shit. Every single one of you. I love saying no offence before offending someone lol. I can honestly say that all the boys i thought that i loved, throughout the years was totally bullshit. I don't know what love is. Obviously i can like someone a little more than a friend, but love haven't i experienced yet when it comes to a partner. Me turning twenty made me realise that i don't want to experience it yet. Instead i want to chase my dreams and create a future for myself, travel around the whole and create memories.

As i said before i don't know what love is, but my idea of it is so much more than just looks and looking good as a couple. I won't lie looks is important , but only like ten percent. You have to feel attracted to your partner. But i think that when you really love someone and you get to experience that, you fall i love with everything about them. A person's inside is so important, that is the remaining ninety percent. I realised this today and i'm only twenty, and i still have a lot to learn. Before i fell in "Love" for all the wrong reasons, matter of fact i fell in love of the idea of love. Ladies and gentlemen, don't stress about finding the right one. I believe that when the time's right, you'll find that special person in your life. Until that focus on your dreams and dont get attached and waste your time on fuckery lol.

This is the part where i drop the mic. Sayonara bitches.



Saidy, Mariama

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My day started off perfect! I went to school and after that i went and did my nails. Basically i've been chilling all day. All of a sudden i witnessed the most disgusting and humiliating thing ever. I received the most disturbing image by mistake from a person i really respected, as in their is no respect left. I wont tell what is was because i don't want to expose the person, or make the person feel bad. I won't stoop so low. A friendly reminder to everyone using social media, be sure before you press that send button, Someone might get scarred for life.... I know i am lol. It was so bad that even i felt humiliated, because i feel ashamed of the person. My eyes are literally still burning from that painful moment.


I am wondering how that person feels right now. If i did such a thing i would literally move to another country, in another world. The worse part is that after seeing that shit, i hoped to never see the person again. What do y'all think happened fifteen minutes later, ofcourse i see this person. What are the fucking odds lol.

Saidy, Mariama

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Have you ever thought about how life can be so unpredictable. When i was i kid i couldn't even imagine a life without my best friend. She wasn't just my best friend, years went by and she became family. Every relationship has their ups and downs. And to be honest that makes the relationship grow stronger. Everyone makes mistakes. I am a living proof of that lol, but we learn from our mistakes. What i have learned is that you never just cut ties with your best friend, no matter what. Best friends are hard to find, so if you really have a friend that makes your life complete, you fight for that relationship. Today i talked to my best friend and for the first time in a very long time i feel like the empty space in my heart is now filled. I am finally reconnected with the "Fufu to my pepper soup". Only she will understand that phrase lol. Life's too short to hold onto negativity and being proud. Thank god for finally coming to my senses. Damn this came straight from my heart, feelings and shit lol. S/o to Angie!!! love ya kwasia. And if you don't know, now you know. (Biggie voice).

And to all my other friends, i still love y'all. Just had to point that out after writing this dramatic post.

Saidy, Mariama

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