Filed under: Personal Blog

Rejection, now there's a touchy subject. I have been rejected many more times than I can even begin to count let alone remember. The reasons, not all know, but of course as a young girls that's not fairly confident in her own skin, let alone my own mind,  I tend to always think the worst of myself and at times punish myself because of what I thought the reason was which led to me being rejected once again. 

My heart has always been in a good place. I've always been a glass half full kind of person. Which is probably why I've put myself in those kinds of situations. Always trying new things, because lets be honest, its better to try than never know right? After one too many rejections you tend to start loosing that optimism a little bit. Your string of hope gets cut a little shorter bit by bit after every time.

I've had it all, every experience you can think of. I've been put through the grinder and cut right up to the bone in some cases. Honestly, If it wasn't for my tough skin and a hand or two full of people who I always open up and talk to about my experiences I don't think I would be the same person mentally as I am today. As I sit here today I feel defeated in life but as always not yet ready to throw in the towel. Although each experience had been unpleasant on its own I've never let it scar me, even after all the hurt caused by constantly never being 'good enough' or whatever it is, for someone or something. But today defeat got to me, as it probably has on many other occasions before this one. Since I wanted to open up about what I've learned about being rejected and how I now try not to let it influence me as a person (after having been through so much of it) I hope that after I write this post It would also help me to gain more sanity over my mind and lay to rest the punishment and doubt I ended up again putting on my heart. So first thing is first. The next title I struggled to accept but you just kinda have to, and that leads us to...

You might not be the right person and that's OK

This one gets to me a little. I always like to think of myself as a 'fit into everything' kind of person. Be it a new job, a new relationship or applying myself into something that I know I'm perfect for. If it needs me to be a certain way to fit the mold I'll change to be exactly what they want. I want it so badly that I would do almost anything it takes to be the 'right person'. I'd change who I was, how I thought, how I looked. I actually succeeded in some cases to fit the bill as it was on black and white thinking that this was what they wanted. Needless to say, it sometimes still ends up not being the perfect match and in the process of changing who you are you start to loose little bits of who you are like I did. 

On occasions I am not even sure about who I am because I have over the years always tried to fit into other people's ideas of what the 'right person' is. Eventually realizing that I ended up wasting time that I could actually have used to embrace the kind of person that I actually am. The kind of person that might actually fit perfectly into another opportunity without having to mold my way into this artificial figure that, lets face, we ourselves don't even like being because its not who we truly are. We might even succeed in wiggling ourselves into these opportunities to later discover that we have some how become unhappy in our lives. Purely because this just is not who we are. It really just was not meant for us. It hard to really process that. For me it is, I though that once you get what you've always wanted you would automatically just be, well, happy. But it never really is that way. It might take you years to first start realizing it but somehow you will.

In other cases not being the "right person" makes us think that "of course, something is wrong with me" . This might as well be my favorite thing to do. A friend of mine pointed it out to me a few times before I actually started realizing that I might actually have a serious problem breaking myself down. It must have been the third or fourth time that day when she actually stopped me in my tracks while I was mumbling on about how I knew the problem laid with me when she stopped me, looked me in the eye and in a strong and furious tone scolded me for beating myself up verbally about not being good enough. Since that day to this very day she would pinch me every time I said anything bad about myself where I though I was never good enough to be the 'right person'. Friends like that are really the ones that you should keep in your lives forever. I then realized how often I did it after it was pointed out to me. Imagine how many more times I would do this in the company of my own thoughts. The thing is there are a lot of people that share this same trait with me and not even know it until they get pinched a few times to actually realize how often they do it. All to try and fit into a mold that they were never meant to fill. 

You are inevitably the right person because you are you. Perfectly made and perfectly formed in your entirety. There is this quote that I just love and always try to live by. I hope you will too.

"My heart is at ease knowing that, what was meant for me will never miss me & that what misses me was never meant for me"

See it as your next step to greatness

After every rejection in life you should try to move on into a positive space however bad it was. We are all allowed to have a moment or a day to work through rejection. This is normal. But don't let it settle in your soul. As a woman, I know how hard it is to move past something that every made me feel remotely unhappy. The best remedy for this is to use however you feel to your advantage. Steer it towards something that's going to, in the long run, make you greater than you already are. This whole step takes a lot of maturity to do. Making something good come from something bad. All the successful people of the world before you did just this. It fueled them and kept pushing them to succeed even when the best of the best never acknowledged them.  As long as you never allow it to bring you down or keep you from moving forward you will eventually succeed in being greater at the end of your journey.

When you get rejected on your looks, personality, talents, or flaws you should never ever allow it to keep you from enjoying yourself for exactly who you are. Whenever this happened to me It was as if something cut into my heart. But worse than that was that I allowed it to. Today's end result is me struggling to enjoy me. I always worried what people would say, I'd stress myself out beyond breaking point. I still struggled with accepting myself as I am. In the back of my mind I was always too fat, my hair was too dark or light, my feet were to big, my skin was too bad, my hair to short, my jokes to stupid or my voice too manly. I always had something bad to say about myself. I was my own worst enemy. What I've come to realize is that after my rejection this always automatically closed myself up when I was meeting new people or growing relationships with the people that I already knew. And in doing this I made myself more unattractive, less friendly and wasn't being or showing my full potential. I thought that if it bothered one person that it would automatically bother every other person. This turned out to be a lie. This is something that I personally focus on and work on every day. If I look back on it now there might have been a few scenarios where I maybe did not meet a few peoples full expectations but the rest was me just punishing myself to live up to those very few people's opinions and then adding them to everyone else's. 

I'd like to leave you with this. You will never be able to make everyone happy. You will not always be chosen. You won't always be the smartest or the prettiest. You might not always be chosen. You might not always be acknowledged. You might not always feel good enough but in the end you aren't the one missing out on something. There is something meant for you and only you, it might not come around now but there is always light at the end of every tunnel. You just have to keep moving, keep pushing, keep bettering yourself living by the simple rules of life and that day, THE DAY, your day will come.

Forgive, Forget and keep looking forward

After everything is said and done a simple rule to live by is to forgive and forget and keep heading forward. If you never try to move past the things that once kept you back you will never be able to move forward in life. Dwelling on things that you can't change or take back will eventually end up pulling you down. This is maybe one of the most important points I've learned from being rejected. You really need to learn how to let go of things that,  1. You can no longer learn from &  2, Thins that will not help you progress further in life. 

Closing a chapter and taking what you need from it to fuel you in being stronger and wiser in the second chapter is not only a good point to live by but also a essential and necessary life lesson. If its someone that you need to forgive in order to do that, be the bigger person and Forgive. Only after you have made peace with it in your heart will you be able to forget it. Lastly you can't go back now can you? No, and why would you want to? Moving forward will allow you move on to bigger and better things. Forgive, Forget and keep looking ahead. There are way better things awaiting you.

A little reminder: Everyone has at one point or another faced rejection in their life time. I find comfort in the fact that I am not alone in this on days that it sometimes is a little harder to comprehend. Rejection is a way of life. Rejection keeps you motivated, it keeps you kicking and screaming for me. It keeps you eye on the prize. Allow it to fuel a fire in your hear instead of covering it and letting it burn out. 

You are not defined by what you are rejected by - Always remember that!

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Filed under: Travel Blog

Its officially been 5 days since I got back into South Africa from my world win adventure to Paris, France and all I can say is my heart has found its home. It might sound a little cliche being the city of love and all but It really has. Paris had nothing but good or even great memories to leave us longing back for on our long 16 hour flight back to Johannesburg.

The trip to the airport and the check in counter all seem like a distant memory, almost like a dream that was too good to wake up to. I had never been more excited as I was the morning that I got onto that first plane to Dubai knowing that the long long long lost dream of mine, traveling to meet the city that I had always imagined seeing (apart from the odd block buster that got release was finally here). It was here, and it all happened so quickly. Every moment to me was precious, waiting in the starbucks que to get that first sip of hot raved about drink was cherished, apart from my usual rush at a coffee shop at a local restaurant here in SA. There was so much to see at the airports, I successfully walked through a brand new pair of caramel cowboy boots before we even got to our final destination, after about what felt like 30 minutes we were on our way to yet another boarding gate to board our final plane to Paris.

Then finally after a few good movies and a good few hours of sleep we had arrived….and it was magical. I unbuckled my seat belt as soon as I heard the captain announce that we were arriving in Paris, I stuck my head up as close to the window as it could to get a full glimpse of the scenery out the window , the window began to fog up, not only because of all my excitement but also because it took me a few moments to catch my breath. It took it in, I took it all in… as we waited to leave the plane my friend pointed out of the window and pointed out to one of the men down below working at the airport as the ‘First french man ‘ we got to see on our trip, I still remember taking my first deep breath as I stepped off of the plane and on to the plat form, almost as if to say this is really happening.

Landing and getting through customs had me anxious to start exploring, after all the time of waiting all i really wanted to do was burst through the doors and set eyes on anything and everything that I could. We eventually caught our first metro and even tho we had no idea where to go we managed to get to the right stop on the first try, pretty impressive I might add although I think I can speak for myself and my friend that we really were a bit nervous. After waiting in a local pub down the road from the apartment that we had rented for our stay we sat in silence even after so much could have been said. It was a long and exhausting day but also one that we did not want to end.

The days seemed to pass so fast, we had day plans for everything that we wanted to see, everything you get told to see when you are in Paris. I had a few of my favorite moments but none stood out as the night we got to meet our french bar man , Mattheui. With that friendly side ways smile that glanced at you every time your eyes would meet his as you walked into La animal,he really gave me the entire Parisian adventure that tourists dream about, we scaled buildings and sat on roof tops to watch the sun rise with a bottle of wine and two plastic cups that he had popped into his bag after his shift at 2 am at La Animal, the bar where we had met for the first time. He sang to me at the top of his voice one evening as we walked the streets of Paris , a lovers song he called it, one about true love. He cooked for me and held my hand on the metro while his other held on to his guitar case. He smiled at me when I responded to something that he had asked in afrikaans (my home language) without even noticing it and helped me pronounce some common french phrases as it clearly seemed that I was struggling. It was like something straight out of one of the movies that I had seen before, in the city where it was all more than likely to take place. I don’t know if it was the idea of him that I liked or the way that he looked right into my soul as if he had known me for years, like he was expecting to meet me but his french accent and dark brown eyes had me staring and smiling a few seconds longer than usual. I found it both exciting and mysterious. The french sure know how to love or how to make you feel loved in such a way different to what you know, that is my theory behind how Paris got to be known as the city of love, they have passion like nothing you have ever known before.

The last day in Paris was one that I hoped would never come to an end, it was a rainy day, a day that made you just want to curl up under some warm sheets and just forget about the world, but instead all I had to do was leave behind my perfect one. I took one last walk down the roads surrounding our block and touched the trees and walls as I passed them, listening to the sounds that I had gotten so use to for over a week one last and final time. I grabbed my bags , he followed me out and standing on the corner of the road on a side walk he kissed my forehead while l looked up at him with a sad but content smile as to say thank you and flipped both my bags on their wheels and walked towards the car waiting to take us to the airport without looking back.

As we got in the car and the engine started I opened my window and glimpsed back into the shop to see that welcoming smile one last time as we passed La Animal, and there it was. I teared up and squeezed my friends hand as If I had just left behind something that meant a lot more to me than what waiting back home, It wasn’t that I was upset or that I had felt like I had been torn apart from anything but that I actually didn’t want to say goodbye, you get to experience life in a certain way, with certain people and you get to build up all these bits and pieces, memories or something I like to think of as ‘First Love Moments’ the moment you fell in love with something for the first time. This trip had a lot of those moments for me. I got to see things I never though existed, cultures I never experienced before and got to meet people that walk a completely different life to what I have – two completely separate world to be exact. It really lets you reevaluate your life, what is important and what seems important. This trip helped me discover a whole new world of possibilities. I had adventures, I had wow moments, I had sadness and oh so much happiness. I had a chance to find what it was that I was looking for apart from all the good photos and vacation stories. I got to find me

Paris will always be my first love moment, my first love affair, my greatest desire and my greatest adventure.



Filed under: Travel Blog

Earlier this year I decided to take my first ever trip to France, specifically to the beautiful city of Paris. Now, many of us have at one stage or another found ourselves day dreaming about one of the most romantic cities in the world, right?

Having a glass of red wine next to or on the Seine river, perhaps stealing a kiss (from a French man or any other man for that matter) underneath the Eiffel tower or even losing our taste buds (if you’re a foodie) when trying out the very famous and delicious pastries and crêpes at every other bakery or coffee shop conveniently located on every street and street corner.

Well, I have definitely found myself lost in images and blogs depicting that very experience, so I finally decided to pack my bags, put my leave in at work and purchase my tickets to get my own sense of beauty, adventure and face full of pastries.

When planning your adventure

Now, where do we even begin? It can be a little scary to book a trip to France all by yourself like I did, but it can be done. I found that speaking to a lot of people that have traveled to France or anywhere else for that matter gave me a better idea of what to plan and how to plan it. So here is a list of things I found helpful when I began booking the trip of my dreams.

When to book your trip to France

Setting the date for my trip was challenging. Of course you want go at the best time so that you are able to enjoy every moment of your trip and you also want to book your trip at a time when flights are a little wallet friendly just in case you are on a budget. Choosing the right time of the year to travel in advance will help you know what to expect when you finally get off of the plane.

I decided to book my ticket for the end of April purely because it would be the start of spring in Paris. (Could there be a better time to travel to France?). Read up online about the climate while planning your trip. This will help you plan your itinerary.

Do some research

One word…research, research, and research. Only once I returned from my trip to Paris, did I find out about a few events that I would’ve liked to plan my trip around, like The Paris Plages (where they bring in trucks of sand to create a beach like effect with blue umbrellas next to the Seine River), Fete de la Musique (a wide variety of free music concerts throughout the city for one whole weekend) and Bastille Day (the French independence day celebration, which is also a full weekend of music, fireworks over the Eiffel tower and a whole lot of dancing).

If I had any clue that events like these even existed I would have postponed my trip to a few months later. Although I didn’t get to join in on the fun, I still had an amazing trip as I am sure you will too. Just read about the area you will be visiting, see if there are any big events that you would like to join and book your trip accordingly. If you are like me and have a huge fear of FOMO, keep this in mind before booking your trip.

Where to stay

Whether you will be traveling with a friend, a group of people or by yourself, accommodation can be a bit pricy but there are ways and means around it. What worked for me was Airbnb because you can choose your price range and get a better idea of what everything is close to. You get to see images of the actual room/house/apartment where you’ll be staying and also see reviews from people who have actually stayed there. Although there were plenty of other options, I opted for the Airbnb Parisian apartment (which I had all to myself) only because I wanted to have the real Parisian living experience.

If you’re on a budget, you may also consider Couchsurfing, which will enable you to stay in the house of a local and, depending on the arrangement between the two of you, you may stay on their pull-out couch or in their spare room for a few days in exchange for a little culture swapping or a little back pocket change.

Then there’s always the option of staying in a hostel, which is cheap, easy and allows you to easily make friends. Whatever option you are leaning towards, be careful, do your research and ask around.

Booking a flight

Boy, when I booked my ticket it was undeniably one of the best days of my life – it meant that I would soon be on my way to France! So, let’s have a look at some of the flight websites that will get you the best round (or one way) ticket to your next destination. There are tons of travel specials all year round so keep punching in your email for updates for all well-known travel agencies.

Other websites to try out include, Sky Scanner and Travel Start. Both websites help you to find the best routes and best rates. You can also choose your favourite airline or have the option to mix it up in order to find the lowest fare. If keeping to your budget is important, each website is able to give you something close to your budget needs–which may include a few longer layovers. If that does not bother you, then book away! See it as another stop on the way to your destination–with more exploring time, if you’re lucky!

The visa

All countries are different when it comes to visas, and finding information about what you’ll need should be first on your list when you decide to travel. The visa process can be a bit daunting. All the processes are fairly similar although it will change depending on what visa you’re applying for. Just have a look at the requirements online or at your closest visa office and you’ll find a list of things you need for the type of visa you are applying for. Applying for a visa can take up to 4 weeks in South Africa so make sure you have everything booked and planned well in advance so that you have all the necessary documents to apply. Then, all you’ll need to do is wait.

What to pack

I think that it’s important to pack a little bit of everything because you never know what to expect (unless you go to the French Alps in the winter time). When I was in Paris in April, the weather was supposedly ‘warm’ but there were more cold days than what I expected. Needless to say, I wore my jacket every day and even slept in it sometimes.

There were rainy days and sunny days, and because I’m use to a completely different climate and wasn’t 100% prepared, I ended up with a nice little respiratory infection cold on my flight back home. It rains a lot in France, so be sure to bring an umbrella.

A European adapter is next on my list, followed by comfortable shoes–an obvious choice for all the walking that you will be doing in-between sightseeing and metro trips. I would also suggest packing boots as they help to keep your feet dry when walking around the streets on a rainy day. We stepped in quite a few puddles and ended up with soggy socks and shoe during our sight seeing trips.

And my final little bit of advice for packing for France is to keep an eye on your belongings. I bought the smallest little body hugger bag that could only carry a few essential items like my little hand held camera, metro card, lip gloss, cell phone, credit card and money. Pickpockets are a real thing on the metros and on the streets of Paris. Invest in a little essentials bag with minimal zips and buttons when you travel or just keep your items locked under a little travel lock.

The itinerary

Plan ahead, get a list together of all of the things that you want to see and places that you want to visit especially if you are only in one place for a few days or hours. Get an idea more or less of where everything is and start planning your route. The queues at some of the main tourist attractions can be a bit crazy but they move along quite quickly. Do as much as you can, take in every moment–there is so much to see and do and a lot of beautiful photos to be taken. If you end up missing something or getting lost, embrace it–there is something unique around every corner even if it’s not on your ‘to see’ list.

Try to speak to some of the locals (bartenders, waitresses and shop attendants) to see if they can recommend a few places for you to explore that most tourists don’t know about. Some of the French people that we met on our routes weren’t the friendliest of people, but many of them were very lovely! I made friends in Paris that I will be meeting up with again on my next trip through to France so the old tale of all of them being rude is not entirely true.

Extra tips and advice

  1. Blend in

There is something about blending in that keeps you out of harm’s way and gives you a better experience from beginning to end. In Paris, people like to look good, so try wearing the longer shorts on a hot day if you can and leave the flip flops for your next trip to the beach.

  1. Steer clear of pushy merchants

There are a few funny characters that I am sure you will come across while roaming the streets who may also be some of the friendliest too. People will try to entertain you for some change or push some Eiffel Tower ornaments in your face to make a quick buck or two, and they aren’t always bad people. There will always be a few shady ones around though who will make you feel a little less comfortable. Stay in areas with other people and say NO if they get a little too close.

  1. Don’t fear the Metro

The metro may seem tricky but it’s very simple to master. Sure, you will get on the wrong train a few times, but it will only take a 5 minute ride to get back on the right track, so don’t freak out. Keep a metro map with you at all times. If you’re really in a pickle ask the metro staff to help you.

  1. Hop on, Hop Off

These buses are cheap, reliable and they take your all around Paris, with the bonus of giving you some historical commentary through a pair of headphones (that you plug into you seat) along with a bit of little French music to even out the scenery in between stops. If you want to see as much as you can in a short amount of time this is a great option!

  1. Learn the Language

Be sure to dabble in a little bit of the language with phrases like Bonjour, Merci, Salute and Au revoir. Learn some words and even some phrases if you can. It makes things easier. Believe it or not but there are a lot of people that don’t speak any English (or at least they pretend not to). If all else fails there are some great apps that help you to translate text on menus, like Google Translate or Speak and Translate.

I hope this gives you a little more insight while planning your next trip to France. Above anything else, I hope you have a great time! Explore, make memories and take photos! Lose yourself in everything France has to offer!



Filed under: Travel Blog

The travel bug bit me again, but this time I wanted to explore a city I never really heard of before. After a brief look around online I stumbled upon images of a lovely town called Marseille in the South of France. Being a lover of the ocean and anything French it all sounded like the perfect place to set off to for my next grand adventure.

I found myself in the country side, in a little town called Cabries where you could literally get lost in so much greenery and slip ways that lead to the most beautiful little town roads which was surrounded by houses with blue and red shutters and independent shops and cafes. I literally had to pinch myself a few times after gazing at the simplicity and beauty that Cabries had to offer. The roads are small as most French roads are but after a few hours you get use to the cars passing by a little too close.

The countryside is definitely a place one has to visit, wild figs and apple grown right next to the roads and every building seems to tell its own story. More than often you might be greeted by an elderly couple on their way to their local market on foot to pick up a few things for dinner or perhaps see a few locals sharing some wine and conversation at a café on one of the street corners. Life here seems so simple; it’s easy to lose yourself in the simplicity that life in the country side has to offer.

Another must see while on a stay in Marseille is visiting the beach and the harbor close to Carry-le-Rouet. As you make your way off of the highway and down to the coast you enter what almost looks like a valley made up of rocks and as much greenery as the eye can see that opens up right onto the beach front, which turns into one of the best scenic routes I have yet take while on my travels.

We arrived at the beach, which for a moment took my breath away. The water is bright blue and the view from the beach tower is as picturesque as you can get. French beaches are some of the most relaxing and beautiful that I have visited.

After traveling a few kilometers down the road your eyes are greeted by the quaintest little houses overlooking the ocean. Around every turn even the smallest glimpse to your right opens up to the beach down below that looks like something off of the back of a post card.

After our afternoon on the little beach we decided to to have some lunch down by the harbor just on the other side of the hill. There are various little French restaurants and cafes right next to the boat ports which gives off a lovely atmosphere as the sun sets over the ocean right behind the harbor for a few sun downers or just a good glass of wine to end off a long day of exploring.