I guess that the biggest goal in my life is to be happy about myself. There are so many things I miss out on in life because of the fact that im insecure . I, for example, want to be able to travel without people asking in the water-parks : "who weights more, you or your boyfriend?" I mean of course they need to ask because of the safety issues but it's so damn humiliating! My boyfriend is quite tall but normal sized... I hated that moment so much and my boyfriend could tell that it made me really sad.
Another goal is to look good in long jeans and denim shorts. I stopped wearing jeans and shorts a couple of years ago. Even if nobody's thinking that it looks disgusting, I am... So now I only wear dresses with leggings or pantyhose's. I looks and feels good on my body. But jeans are so pretty! And to be able to shop size 36-38 (EUR) is one of my goals for sure! Nowadays I shop size 40-42 (EUR)... There are no bigger sizes in the normal stores, you need to go to the XXL shops if those sizes doesn't fit.
I don't like to take pictures with my skinny friends. In my head I think that I somehow stand out in a bad way just because my thighs are bigger and my shoulders wider... It's stupid, I know... But this is exactly why I want to live healthier. So that I can lose weight and be happy + healthy!
These are some of my thoughts... I hope you understand that it's not easy to talk about these stuff publicly.. :( I'm just at a point in my life were the overweight struggles are preventing me from seeing my friends.