This blog post will be written in English. Why? Well, because I can, duh.
There's just been a lot of emotions going around lately. I've come to realize that my days as a foreign exchange students actually are coming to an end. EF are welcoming class of '18, we're entering the fourth quarter of the school year and the snow is starting to melt (finally.) Before today I've been kind of okay with going home. I've just looked at all the great things that are waiting for me in Sweden, and everything I've missed. But what about my American life? All of my friends? My amazing teachers, speaking English everyday, just the culture. My host family! Just thinking about little Easten asking his mom where Alva is the days after my departure breaks my little heart. And to think about all the great, amazing people I know and love that live in this corner of the world, still here while I go back to my old country... How will my life go on without those essential people? How will I be able to heal?
Life is an adventure, and saying goodbye is something I've done several times before. This time, though, it's different. I'm saying goodbye to not just some people and a place, but a whole life. I've built a life here. For people who have not experienced exchange it will be hard to understand, but you build a new persona when you're abroad all alone for such a long time. And quite honestly, I love the person I've turned out to be. I don't love everything about it, but I love it no matter what.
It's been hard. So hard. Yet here I am today, so full of joy that I never gave up this amazing life. I kept on fighting and I got through some of the worst days I've ever had to experience. I've learnt how to navigate, manage, argue and get through. I've learnt how to adapt, change and also to explain myself and stand up for what I believe is right and true. I've also learnt that there is a time and place for everything, if you know what I mean.
Yeah... Wow, it is truly impossible to explain the cluster of complicated thoughts stuck in my brain. It's okay though, because really, who can know wha you really feel, besides you? It's okay. And I will be okay. I just have so much to lose, which is a good thing seeing as that means I have so much to love. I am just overflowing with love, and it's probably the best feeling there is. I am just so happy to be alive and live this crazy, amazing life i call my story. May these days never come to an end.