Hi There,

this is my first time that I blog sth. I've never done this before and I'm quiet anxious about it, so here we go.

Did you ever had that feeling that you're kind of empty inside you? But it's not like a depression or sth like that. It's just that you are not happy even if there are so many things you can be happy about. Ok maybe it sounds kind of like a depression, but I'm pretty sure it's not. I'd like to tell you about my bf becaus I know he makes me happy but I'm not happy because of him (sounds strange but what in my life isn't starnge... You know there are times where I'm not sure about my relationship with him. I really love him there is now doubt about it, but sometimes he's just acting like a jerk and I'm questioning myself if it's still worth it to stay with him after all he did and after all I did. There are so many things that I need to talk about because of our relationship and some things you won't believe but I swear they are true.

We met each other in a "Project-week". This is sth were you go somewhere specific with your class and sometimes there is another class at the same place. In these weeks there is a lot of alcohol even if you are surrounded by teachers. In this week I met him. He was very kind and got an excellent tast of humour. And his smile was just absolutely adorable.. how couldn't I fall for him? So in this week we hang out everyday after "school" was over. We came really close and I hoped every night he would finally kiss me or ask me for a date. But then at thursday (the last night we spend in the "project-week" a girl came up to me and asked me if I knew that M (I will just name my bf like this) had a gf.. I was shocked and surprised because he didn't tell me after all this time we hung out together. I was very down and wanted to talk to him and finally around 1 o'clock in the morning we were able to talk. He was very sorry and told me that he just felt not like himself this week and that he needed some time away from his gf because he didn't know his feelings for her, especially after this week. So I decided to forgive him and I still don't know if it's the best or dumbest thing I've done so far in my life.

If you are still reading here I hope you are kind of interested beacause this is know 1 year ago and we are still together but I just need to talk about this and I will continue to write in some days.

See you and wish you a wonderful night