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This experience of mine is probably one of my favorite ones. Because thais is when it all changed..

I have always been very curious and creative. And school never really was for me. I have a lot of beliefs about school and maybe the reason for that is because I never felt like I belonged. One very strong belief is that we go to school to gain knowledge and to learn prior to (which is great, of course, because there are a bunch of important stuff to know) but we do not try to learn or understand what we want out of out life. I feel like we grow up being educated and raised by the beliefs that life is about getting good degrees and then continue studying so we can get a good job and have a great income and start a family and then retire and die. It is't about learning how to maximize your own potential and head for your goals. What a shame!

However. In the end of high school I felt like I had it all planned out (I didn't), and knew exactly what I had to do to get there (I didn't). After some depressing months of not really doing anything but surfning and photographing sunsets I booked a one-way ticket to Spain where I would be flying to Malaga the 13 of december 2015. I saved the date. Obviously. There was a long wait until I was supposed to board that flight. So I moved in in back at my dads' in Stockholm and figured I would start a life there again since that was where I'm born. Life got even worse once I moved. Oh, how naive I was...

I got a job as a loan advisor (which is a totally different story I might tell you about some day) and learned a lot. But something was missing. Not physically, yet I wasn't satisfied with my life and I knew nothing material or physical could make up for that space I felt.

Now, to the heart of this post. SPAIN. ESPAÑA. SPANIEN! Spain was amazing and exactly what I needed. Thanks Spain for providing me with such warmth and so many colorful memories to my before so dull and gray life.

My friend Virginia, who I met via Tinder (which also is completely another story I'll get back to), was at the time living in a smaller town 20 min west outside of Malaga on an avocado farm. Yes, you read it right. An avocado farm. We ate avocados for brakfast, lunch and dinner and we made freshly pressed juice out of the oranges growing in her yard. Life was glossy in it's best way and I never wanted to get back to work (which I quit on new years the same year, but i'll get back to that as well).

Meanwhile we were having the time of our lives, Virginia was working, or should I say hustling, her ass off towards a future more appealing than the one she currently had. And don't get me wrong, there was absolutely nothing bad about her way of living, but she is a woman with big dreams and dedication. Without any exaggeration at all, she was aiming for the top! She was the first person to show me, or to make me truly believe (because somehow I've always suspected), that the only one standing in the way of my dreams, is me. She was living her dream and I wanted to do the same! The urge of doing something different, fulfilling and to go beyond my own potential had been set on fire. Before, it was only a little spark but NOW I WAS ALL IN FOR IT! I also wanted to create stuff, live a free life, connecting with amazing people and travel the planet. I wanted to convey my perception of the world and make people experience the same revelation I had just experienced myself. I felt like my world had turned upside down for some reason. I didn't feel the same, but I felt more like myself than I had ever felt. AND I LOVED IT. After all, we only have one life. Why not make the most out of it, right?

Clearly, this topic about living a life to the fullest is one very close to my heart and I see this as a start of something great and creative. The curiosity within me hasn't changed since I was little. In fact, I believe it is what makes me the human I am. Always discovering, always learning and always eager to evolve. This experience changed me, and so maybe I can pass it on to somebody who is ready to ask take that first leap of faith?

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I November 2016 startade Louise och jag podcastprojektet Tänk Om. 

"För oss är det viktigt att tänka själva och skapa våra egna uppfattningar kring ämnen som cirkulerar i samhället. Vi vill motivera människor till att vilja nå sina egna mål, tro på sig själva samt att ifrågasätta och försöka se saker från flera olika håll.

​Varje onsdag tar vi upp ett nytt ämne och detta kan vara allt från kroppskomplex till pengar eller fån det knasiga skolsystemet till matsvinn."

Ni hittar oss på Acast, i Podcaster-appen och soundcloud!




Follow me, I'm lost too - @ulrikastilling