Our first kiss (with each other not in general) was... Awkward. It wasn't like either of us had done horribly. It was the circumstances. We were in the handicap stall in the girls bathroom and we kissed on a dare. We were both so weird about it. And when our lips did connect those few times for five seconds... We weren't in the moment. We were trying to push past that tension, that awkwardness. She and I had been in love for so long and I'm pretty sure that neither of us are considering that our first kiss. When I do kiss that girl for the first time, I mean really kiss her... It'll be the most memorable kiss she's ever had.
It's dark. It's dangerous. It's a demon in disguise. They're ruthless in their war games, though they do not play purposefully or truthfully. They hide their love for another, their hate for the shrewd disguise.
Compete with the color. Let's rip open the earth and see what we find. See what color makes up those beautiful brown eyes I know too well. When the sunshine makes it's way through a window or cloud, rays making way into her retinas. The thudding of my oh so serenaded heart cannot be heard by her.
She has no idea of the things I've done since we've been apart and I've been gone. I only hope she'll remember the things that hurt her most when she got close to me. Hopefully she'll remember and this time she'll want to leave. I can't hurt her. I can't hurt her by letting her love me. I'm bad. I'm destructive, I'm her kryptonite, I'm everything she doesn't need. I'm the war that breaks her to the point of a constant chest cavity bleed. She doesn't need me. Though she wants me, she can't have me. I won't let myself ruin her.