I'm trying to be okay with all of this change that has been happening in my life. I'm going through the motions of a breakup with someone who I knew for a long time wasn't right for me. I'm still battling with the idea that I'm in love with someone that I only knew for a month before I flew back to Australia. I'm even more torn between wanting to stay here in Australia, finish my degree or buy a one-way ticket to America to see what could be? Love is a strange thing. It makes you sick. But you would chase it to the ends of the Earth just to taste a trace of it.

It's hard knowing you feel so strongly about someone you barely know. I don't know if I'm in love with the idea of this person or whether their charm, wit, humour, generosity, love, affection and thoughtfulness just lingers on in my mind. This person is 'woke'. They are real. They understand shit. They're just fucking lovely. Yet they don't say much. And it's this mystery that keeps me hooked. I want to know who they are, what keeps them up at night, what they dream of, what fuels their fire, their 'bucket list' items, their strange desires. I want to know it all. But I don't want to scare them away.

It's a hard position to be in. To live 10,000 miles away from someone but crave every inch of their being. To still feel their lips pressed on your neck and their touch around your waist. To hear their funny little laugh they do or their bright smile that literally makes you melt. The fact that there is someone out there who I cannot flaw. Who is seemingly perfect in every aspect and the universe is dangling them in front of me, just out of arms reach..

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She packed her suitcase,

with no intention of coming back

She was looking, searching, longing,

for the pieces of her that she had shed on her adventures

Wanderlust consumed her

Foreign hearts compelled her

Travel changed her

She was a different person altogether,

yet she was more herself than ever before

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A bonsai tree represents "peace", "balance" and "harmony". In essence, it is a metaphor for the simplicity of life and the goodness that exists within the universe.

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During my travels I met somebody who shares this understanding of the bonsai tree and everything it represents and I was lucky enough that he gave me a tree to nurture when I get home to Australia. He bought one for himself too and we are going to grow them at the same time, across other sides of the world. I think it's a beautiful metaphor; the tree will continue to grow as our friendship grows.

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she was sitting on a life raft in the middle of the storm

the ocean tide pulling her, throwing her off course

dragging her under the waves

she felt like she had no control

she feared that the storm would take her

but she held on tight to this raft

knowing that it wouldn't let her sink,

that if she could just hold on

the storm would eventually pass

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He drove us in his car through the winding roads in the outskirts of the city. As the lights of the bustling town disappeared in the rear view, a different kind of light appeared before us. The stars had come out to play and they were countless, scattered across the expanse of space. Once he parked the car, he led me along the edge of a mountain, carved out by the footprints of all of those who had been before us. The moon lit up the path and we trekked further and further up the mountain, further and further away from the noise of the city. We sat down on the boulders on the edge of the mountain and laughed. He was good at making me laugh. Then he turned my gaze upwards and as I looked I realized what was surrounding us. The stars were illuminating the dark sky and the vast expanse of space revealed a number shooting stars. We spent all night laying there under the lights, making wishes that this moment would last for all of time.

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life is a series of choices

some good and some bad

i have come to learn that it is not the quality of these choices

but the quality of your character, which defines you

i am not my mistakes

i am simply me

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10 Things I'm Grateful For (10th Dec): Books, sunshine, mother-daughter chats, bed, shelter, my health, my creativity, clean water, hot showers and friends.

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my mind is a storm

wild, overbearing, powerful

i cannot calm my thoughts

like the monstrous waves at sea

i am engulfed by these feelings


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