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Our case-study group mentor is a gynecologist and has given us all these dates where we can shadow him while he has surgeries. The med DREAM. The surgeries are sex change surgeries too so you know Ive been telling literally every single person about it. My lab partner and I have however managed to miss not one, but both of our shadowing opportunities. Both times without realizing it, both times due overconsumption of alcohol and both times completely independently of each other. Tell me that isn’t impressive. We found out when we were talking to our classmate about how many times she had fainted while shadowing at an operation and how she thought it was weird because it was her third time going and she felt she should be used to it. Automatically I was like wtf no fair. She’s been to three operations and I haven’t been to any!?!?!! Cue 6 year old me going on about sharing and equality. But yeah anyways after checking my planner it turned out that like literally the beginning of November was my first surgery and last Wednesday was my second. Things are going well. To be fair I didn’t have the best circumstances for either. The beginning of November one was the day after Frackinvigning, where we had a party with our tailcoats. Lol. And Wednesday we threw the class party thing the night before and I was (as Ive previously described) on cleanup duty. I took it eaaaaasy that Wednesday, woke up at 12:30, ate a cheeseburger with Team Norway who was out with career-ending ankle injury and then I took a nap. Not a care in the world. My lab partner (aforementioned learning-gap guru) probably didn’t feel that well that day either. That’s just me making assumptions based on the garbage bag of vomit i had to ger rid of though. Anyways, the Dream team rescheduled with our mentor and he gave us another chance: December 8th. Don’t mess this up Matilda. I swear to God.

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This week on Keeping up with a Tryggvesson, follow Matilda as she desperately tries to rally her med school classmates to sign up to be froshleader-helper-outers by cornering people at parties and in public bathrooms. Effective AND appreciated. Making friends. I’ve spent this entire weekend studying and its so boring that I JUST CANT. In my program we do all of our studying based on cases that we get and research questions that we formulate based on the case. Which is annoying because you never really know if you’re studying the right thing. Anyways this week we think were supposed to be studying vitamins and metabolism regulation. Exciting stuff. Studying started out great as I copied down the questions, read question 1, opened my textbook, read the same paragraph four times, deleted question 1, read question 2, closed the textbook and took a lunch break. I’ve gotten into the habit of just getting rid of the questions I don’t like or feel like answering. Ignorance is bliss. One of my case study group members had a pretty serious conversation with me about it, asserting that Ill have “significant learning gaps” if i “keep this attitude towards knowledge up.” This conversation did however take place at 3 in the morning while he was blowing chunks into a garbage bag that I managed to force his entire upper body into. Minimizing exposure. Maximizing quality time. So make of it what you will. Nice. His concern is however heartwarming. Ill deal with my significant learning gaps some other time. Team Norway and I spent our weekend mapping out the entire metabolism map. It took us like 10 hours. Which means that were really fucking tired of each other now. Just kidding. Hopefully. We also managed to steal a butt ton of poster paper so now I’ve plastered that all over myapartment and it looks like some kind of Pretty Little Liars “A” psycho headquarters but with metabolism. So just really nerdy. I’ve also tried to culture my classmates with some Bill Nye. The science guy. I don’t think they get it. Science rules.

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Another hectic #medschoollife week came to an end last night with the Thank You party term 1 had to host for terms 2 and 3. Lol if you thought my hectic week was referring to deadlines, exams and midterms. We don’t roll with that here. It was vinyl themed so like 60s, 70s and 80s. We had to write songs and perform them in front of everybody again which was FUN. I however made the mistake of also joining the clean up crew. Partly because my friends did and partly because I don’t mind cleaning. Also, you get your money back for you ticket. But there I stood at 3 am on a Wednesday morning, a mop in my hand and my converse drenched in mud (we were inside so unclear why the floor looked like a plowed field) and it, for some reason, wasn’t as enjoyable as I had imagined. Especially bathroom clean up. What the fuck people?

To top it all off, someone came up with the idea that we shouldn’t get our money back; we should donate it to unicef…! Which like yeah, fine, that’s nice. But honestly can people just chill with the Good Samaritan crap. You’re standing here at 3 am scrubbing stranger’s vomit in a publicbathroom. You’ve already proved that you’re a great person. We get it. I want McDonalds and Ill even buy you a McChicken, just give me my 30 dollars. The party was however a success! Except for the fact that Team Norway sprained her ankle reeaaaaaaal bad when we were trying to carry a tub of wine into her basement somewhere between 3 and 4am this morning. Good thing we’re med students and know every enzyme in the Citric Acid cycle so we can solve problems like these.

In other news we had our froshleader photo-shoot #photogenic. I got the Andrology froshgroup, which for those of you who don’t know, is the male version of gynecology. Aka the "Science of Men." Intriguing. Will not be my specialty later on in life. Anyways, we had to take specialty-specific pictures for the frosh book as well as our social media accounts, which means that cardiologists pose with a one of those super cool replica heart things that schools have that cost a shit tone. Pediatrics pose with a baby (not real). Surgeons pose with a knife (?). And yours truly, has a picture with a penis. Its a urology study replica thing so theres tubes in the doll with water so all of a sudden it pees and its just great.. Super excited to get that one on Facebook. It’ll be a real life application to all those social media lectures you got in high school about thinking before you post pictures of yourself online. Excited for my future job prospects! Anyways, gunna go write an essay now about the importance of teamwork, wholesome perspectives and diversity in the medical field. Its super funny because the Inter-professional Learning course that the essay is for, is a course meant to break the barriers between healthcare students aka doctors, nurses, physio therapists etc so we can work together in the workplace later and “understand each others perspectives” without any hierarchies forming… only that so far the nurses literally do all the work and the med students have showed up late and hung over to 3 of the last 4 program sessions. Okay so it’s only funny if you’re a med student. Its fine. The class is pass/fail.

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Hello internet. Currently, I'm crammed into a 30 degree little train compartment room thing with 5 strangers, bombing down the snow-drenched tracks of south-central Sweden, 45 minutes delayed and heading towards a blizzard in Stockholm #eastcoast. My friends are on another train, first class with food service and fast tracked. We paid the same price for our tickets. It's fine I'm not bitter. My playlist is also bomb but i didn't charge my Beats so I'm just sitting here listening to the train chuggalugglugg along and counting down the minutes until I have a public breakdown. I was counting telephone poles but we're literally in the middle of no where soooo tree tree tree tree tree tree little red house prairie tree tree tree etc you get it there are no telephone poles. Tb to the time a guy in my phys101 class asked if we had roads in Sweden. I said no but I regret it #iamubc.

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Goodevening comrades,

Currently running on 10 hours of sleep over 5 days. I’m the kind of person who needs 10 hours per night. So things are going well. Last Friday I was kidnapped, blindfolded, handcuffed and made to sit in a basement for an hour and a half while listening to Neon Cat on repeat. I was however joined by my future froshleader colleagues and we were sent on a wild clue-driven goose chase for the key to the apartment we were to stay in. Unclear if Im actually allowed to talk about this?... 13 people in a small room, 7 of which slept on four toddler sized mattresses on the floor, makes for surprisingly good sleep. It’s the lack of oxygen that just knocks you out. 8am the next morning was rise and shinewine. The day was very unclear tbh but we drank. Literally from 8am to 3am. And smashed eggs in our own foreheads. My bike tire also exploded because I tried giving someone a ride. I’ve paid for this mistake both practically and economically. On Sunday I got home and died. And then I made Isac pick up my bike that I stashed behind a giant blue garbage container at a Statoil at 3 am the morning before. Friendship.

I’ve also been sewing a lot lately. Not because I want to but because I have to pimp my lab coat. I have to remake it into a tailcoat. Mrs. Wedge told me in grade 9 that I was never meant to be a housewife because my sewing was so bad. She didn’t like me very much. Probably because she spent significant time gently reminding me not to floor the sewing machine pedal while singing Highway to Hell. Wow good times. John, Isac and I awkwardly dipped out on a group dinner thing to go get John’s landlady’s sewing machine. I know what you’re thinking. Our theme song is Wild Thing – The Troggs. We literally sewed all night and I went to 0 lectures today because of it. My priorities are right where they’re supposed to be. The inner lining of my tailcoat is just a giant print of Horton from Horton Hears a Who and I was STOKED until I found out nobody here knows what Dr.Seuss is. By that time I had however already given my penguin print to Isac so it was too late. I owed him one though (bike incidents) so ill live with it. The worst part about sewing is that even though IM NOT TERRIBLE AT IT people think I am and if I make literally any sound they run into the room all panicked thinking I’ve stitched myself to Horton or run myself through the machine.. Not going to lie though I did take a needle through my thumbtip. But I’ve learned from my mistakes and now know not to have my foot on the pedal when I thread the needle. Life lessons.

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What’s up homies? Welcome to my raging weekend. Friday kicked off boomingly with a nice study sesh a la protein degradation and urea cycle to set the tone #Carbamoylphosphatesynthetase1. Today I kept the ratchetry going with amino acid synthesis. Glucogenic or Ketogenic? Either way I got my flashcards form Canada, thanks mom, so now I have to come up with other excuses not to study.

My neighbour has taken to blasting music late at night slash early in the morning. Which is super weird because like looking at him he’s clearly not about that life you know? Right now he’s got Enrique Iglesias' Bailando playing so I’m like not not down with it… but 630yesterday morning he had some weird EDM beat drop and I was pretty close to losing it. I did however handle it like a proper Swede by doing nothing and then ranting about it during fika. Our (my neighbour and my joint) morning routine then continues with the crème de la crème, the morning grande finale shall I say, as he slams his front door 13 times on Tuesday/Thursdays and15 times on Monday/Wednesday/Fridays at 7:29am. That’s right I’ve counted. And figured him out. Creatures of habit are subject to predation. Natural selection is coming. From 7:30 to 7:33 I plot his efficient and easily cleaned up death. Then at 7:34 I’m back asleep. Unless I have a class at 8, in which case I’ve been up since 6 playing the same radio station that my neighbour plays but louder just to beat him. It makes me feel more in control of my life when I convince myself that it’s my music that I’m hearing, not someone else’s muffled tunes through a wall. SO moral of the story is I just waste significant time matching my radio stations to his and playing them louder. Its called being mature and sustainable-solution oriented. 

This week the KardekardeK crew (froshgroup) was chosen by Fadderiet (im sorry I don’t know how to explain this but you know that secret hammer society in Zoey101 that you could only join if they tapped you on the shoulder with a hammer and Zoey was like sups upset because she hadn’t been tapped etc) (lol) to perform at this dinner thing that we have... So now we have to write and perform three songs and then battle against another group in front of like a lot of people. Which is great and not stressful. I’ve pitched a bunch and rewritten songs too so the people in my group just kind of go a long with my ideas. I think they all hate me but you only live once kids, follow your dreams. My guitar only has 5 strings because I rocked too hard and my dad hasn't fixed it yet, but its a problem we work around. My neighbour is now playing Adele’s When We Were Young so I’m going to go curl into a ball. Deuces. JK I’ve convinced avid pro drummer, Isac, to pick me up, because he has a car and it’s raining, to go to our super pro super talented frosh group band rehearsal. We’re the next rockn’roll ABBA and we’re coming for you, world.

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 I just got back from my trip to Copenhagen! That’s in Denmark. That’s not the same thing as Sweden. No I didn’t go to Christiania. For those of you who don’t know what that is, Christiania is this cultish freetown area in dt Copenhagen where you can like smoke/sell (?) weed aka any North American high school. The drive down was short af because dad(Tore) pit stopped and let us each get three candies at the gas station!!!! We hit up Helsingborg, Sweden’s windiest city (exotic!!), which lived up to its rep and was indeed windy af, but we still chose to have drinks on a patio outside on a cold October night in Sweden because why not. The next day we drove down to Denmark and hit up Tivoli (duh) (amusement park), which was super cute and Halloween themed plus they had glögg sooo #christmastime. Liquid courage was employed for certain rides by some but frowned upon by others, siting 11 am as `too early.´ To each their own. John then proceeded to rip his pants for the first time that day by straddling a hay thing. We met up withsome Danes and Norwegians for a night out where no one really understood anything anyone said but it was lit anyway. We were promised interactions with Icelanders but never got to meet them… even though we were at the same places… don’t knowwhat THAT was about. We started off at a grunge bar somewhere in Copenhagen named Miami something (?) and ended up at a place where the dj booth was in a safari jeep and there was this huge metal crocodile in the middle of the dance floor. Unclear. John ripped his second pair of pants and we all called it a night. For those of you who doubted us making it back alive.. hazzaa. Shoutout to Tore for keeping us on lock. The drive back was however 5 hours too long and plagued by my self-reflection on how poorly people understood my danish. This was probably the only sad thing about the trip, other than Johns pant situation #rip (get it). No one understood my danish even though I pretty much speak it fluently and hold a minor in Rasmus Seebach songs. Alas, i shall work on my accent and come out swinging. Until next time københavn. Tata.

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It’s really cold in Sweden rn. And it’s tricky because the suns out and the sky is blue so you THINK that you can wear whatever. If, however, you go outside without the entirety of your skin shielded you will literally lose the limb that said uncovered skin resides upon. It will physically pop off your body and freeze right in front of you. Ive spent the week studying nutrition (snore) and building IKEA furniture with Team Norway who obviously lost the IKEA race due to poor form and not knowing the words to the danish tracks I dj:ed. This weekend we were SUPPOSED to go to Copenhagen since school is pretty chill rn. I was also supposed to go visit my fam in Stockholm which was an awkward clash of interest. Instead I got an interview for SF (frosh leader) which was surprising. Whoever the jury was must have an impeccable sense of humor and just been like: This one. This is the one. Finally, someone who brags about being the last one on the dance floor at three a.m. and lines their application with just the right amount of ###hashtags!! Unfortunately not Denmarking leaves us with no solid weekend plans in Linköping. Cue sad violin music. Octoberfest tickets sold out (except we can come wait in line incase someone doesn’t show #desperation #plana) and minigolf closes at 4pm. We’re literally going to have to go bowling. And not even glowbowling. Shout out 3rd street bowl #northvan. Maybe if the flashcards my mom fedexed from Canada arrive soon Ill study and make those. Bazinga. But yeah that is correct, my mom is sending me flashcards from Canada. Sweden doesn’t have them. And no I can’t just cut out my own. Stop asking that like it’s a relevant option. That takes hella time and Im just not about that life. Today I had a second fire in my apartment. Impressive I know. It was less of a fire though and more of a thick mass of smoke that stank, blurred my vision and alarmed my neighbours. It was my microwave this time and the cinnamon buns again so my conclusion is that the buns are haunted. And no I haven’t acquired a fire alarm nor extinguisher because I feel like its just annoying to have the alarm go off all the time. I have however purchased Airwick so I can get rid of the burnt smell. That, ladies and gents is called being proactive. I did, in the heat of the moment (haha heat get it, fire) pull out all of the plugs by the microwave, for obvious reasons, and then pretty promptly left for school. When I got home I realized that I had pulled out the plug for the fridge/freezer which absolutely blows and is something I should probs deal with instead of writing this. The thugs on my block (two 12 year old boys named Olle and Peter) also keep turning my bike light on at night. I’ve become really paranoid and spend an unhealthy amount of time at my window trying to catch them red-handed. I’m literally that one old person in movies who is super grumpy and definitely has a shotgun on their porch hates kids. But swear to Dog, if they turn my light on one more time I’m gunna flip. I’ve inhaled a lot of smoke lately and am very close to losing it..

Hadehade
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GOODafternoon and welcome. Today we thought it was kanelbullens dag (cinnamon bun day), which is a national holiday in Sweden. Bigger than Christmas actually, so everyones preeeeetty excited. Only it turns out that kanelbullens dag is actually on Tuesday. Better safe than sorry…The Linköping crew went all out with the celebration, both spiritually and physically, sacrificing time, emotion and flour to make these coveted golden brown pieces of edible blessings. My oven did however catch on fire which was a minor inconvenience. Future cake boss John attempted to blow out the fire until we, in a calm and collected tone, reminded him that water was probably best. It's in moments like this where you realize that you don't have a fire extinguisher and should probably get one. Also that your apartment doesn't have a fire alarm. But that seems like someone else's problem.
This has been a super productive weekend actually as I, after showering in the dark for a week, also finally switched the light bulb in my bathroom. Look dad! All grown up!
That’s it. That’s literally all I’ve done. That and shamelessly amped my blog at various social events and socialmedia. People love it.
This weekend I’ve actually also studied liver anatomy WOO! and found this really good site with like dope diagrams and such and also like all the Latin terms beside the Swedish names, which is helpful. But after a while I’m thinking to myself that the Latin looks pretty weird. Like there are a lot of m, u and ks… but I mean its not like I speak Latin fluently or anything so Idk I keep going thinking that like maybe the people who picked the Latin names for the liver were bored and got quirky you know? So there we go.. Minding my own b, just doing me and then after literally 5 pages of notes I go to site the source and see that the url is .fi.
.fi as in Finland. Fucking Finland. Fin. Land.
SO now I know the anatomy of the liver in Finnish, not Latin. Which I’m sure, will get me super far in life #keskuslaskimo.
The bright side is that now I can probably (!!) bond with the Finnish kids in my program. I think they’re getting tired of me greeting them with my one Finnish phrase: Hirven Mulko. Moose penis. Getting international!!!
Deuces

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