parties, sunsets, late night walks, new people, suprise birthday parties, good food, great teachers, accurate fortune cookies and lots of lots of love

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Two dags ago, we arrived in Santa Barbara. It was around 6pm when the bus driver told us that "We're here" and I thought "We're home". The night was spent with the people who took the same flight and stayed at the same hotel, eating dinner at Casa Blanca. Later on. One night of restless sleep and a perfect morning with perfect breakfast, I arrived at my new home. First there, I settled in pretty quickly so that the feel of home would embrace me quick, and it has. The house is more than I could've asked for. When all done, I headed downtown, met with my new friends and had another amazing day. It wasn't until midnight my housemates arrived. 

So what happened today? I woke up, my housemates headed out to explore, eat and do some grocery shopping. I waited for Disa when I realized that I had locked myself out of my room. Keys in my hand but the door was hitched. So when Disa arrived, we went to my neighbor and asked for a ladder. Jailbreak time! Disa climbed up the ladder to my window, pulled it open and climbed in side. Voila, door opened! Then we headed to the school and at last -- the beach with Simon, Lars and Jonas. We had lunch at a diner and it was f a n t a s t i c. Now I'm home with the most horrific sunburn and the rest of the night will be spent right here. In bed, with lemonade. 

Ciao! 

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It's eleven hours left until I take off from Arlanda. Eleven hours. Just thought I'd tell you.

How am I supposed to sleep?

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"It feels like it was yesterday and I was saying 'It's one month left'", I said that to my mother yesterday. Today, it's seven days. One week. Both my bags are up on my desk and one is half full. Yesterday, we went to IKEA and bought some good-to-have stuff. In seven days I'm leaving and I have no idea what to feel.

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An old couple reminded me to stop and look at the little things in life as I took a walk today. I was a few meters away when they stopped, watching a squirrel right before them. When it ran away, they watched it for a while before the continued to walk. Once I caught up tp them, they had stopped again to watch the little fellow. I slowed down and the man turned to me, grinning -- Did you see it? and I smiled, nodding, before I passed them. It's the small things that makes life great.

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27 more days and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm constantly asking myself wether I should start packing or not. Wether my money will cover all the fees. How I will spend these last t w e n t y s e v e n days. Should I see people I haven't seen in a while, just in case I regret myself once I'm down there? All the weird question pops up. So I thought I should take this night to introduce myself, to settle my mind and answer the question I hopefully know the answers to.


Who am I?

I'm Mathilda and one month ago, I graduated from high school in Sweden. I'm 19 turning 20 this year and I studied one year at theatre before realizing that I did not feel comfortable on stage but rather behind it, working with the light, sound, props, writing and all that you can find backstage. I'm the behind-the-scenes kind of girl. One would think I switched to study something like that but instead, I went into studying the children and recreation program. Fit me like a glove and I got to work with my second passion - kids.

I'm crazy about movies, TV-shows, production, writing, singing(which I'm terrible at), working with education, spending endless hours listening to music. I'm a sucker for chick flicks like Mean Girls but find myself hiding behind a pillow, watching horror movies. I get ridiculous when getting close to an animal. I plan on making a life for myself in LA one day, working with TV&Film. 

Last year, I went to the SACO-Fair in Stockholm. It's this event that gathers several universities over the country and they talk about why you should join their school. Me and my friend went as an escape to get away from school one day and had literally no idea what to do once we got there. Five hours left until the bus was leaving, we spotted something on the schedule of speakers. Santa Barbara City College. When I sat there, listening to the woman who spoke about why you should join this college and suddenly, I was alone in the room and I had decided. I was going to America. Tiny me, from tiny Sweden, went to the big states to study TV & Film Production I told mom the minute I came home and so begun a very hectic spring.

I didn't have enough GPA to get into Santa Barbara. I had five F's when I applied and as I counted how many points I had, I ended up with a GPA on 2.38. 0.12 points away. I was crushed at first, then my mom got me on my feet and I busted my ass to get in. When I had done everything I could, I had got three of my F's up to D's and E's and I was ready to apply.

May 21

Congratulations - You've been admitted to Santa Barbara City College.

I had just been baby sitting and was on my way home, checking my mail to see if I had gotten the reply from a job but there it was. The mail from IBS (International Business School) had landed in my inbox and I bursted into tears in the middle of the street. I called my mom, she didn't pick up. I called dad, and I cried and he couldn't make out if I told him that I had gotten in our not. I gathered myself and cried out as the boy from the house next to me looked at me with concerned eyes. He looked terrified. I got in. And so I took the bus to mom's job and she knew the moment she saw me down the hall and we both cried. I got home and I cried even more when I met with my father. My brother hugged me and I cried again. I called my best friend and I cried. I went to bed and go figure -- I cried. A few months later and it felt like it was yesterday I walked down the street, crying like a woman gone mad.

.And now it's 27 days left and I don't know if the days can go any slower or faster. It's too close, too far. I just know I can't wait to set my foot in LA. To see the house, the school, to meet all the new people. 

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And so the time came when we packed the car for the last time in a long time to go on vacation. Nothing big but the last time before I'm heading to the States. Öland, one of Swedens islands, the place where we vacated when I was still in diapers and up until I'm now ready to move away from home. Every time I think about it, I get anxious but also more excited than I've ever been. All I know is that I'm ready. I think. ✈




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I think of it everytime I leave somewhere with the family and everytime we come home, that soon I'll leave for a very long time. Soon, I'll take a seat in the car and we'll drive to Arlanda for my departure. It's kind of frightening but also so exciting.

I had a lovely time in Stockholm, meeting with the IBS-reps and the president of SBCC, a very lovely woman. Everything feels a little bit better, a little bit safer. Time to book the flight ✈


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Scanning the lobby of Scandic Klara for other nervous faces without success. Either, I'm the only on who's nervous or I'm the first one here. Here I thought I was going to be late.

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