To be honest I got used . He used me and I let him . I was just afraid to tell him when he asked if It was OK for him to leave that it wasn't . It felt like when you asked me to do all these things and I told you no , you weren't interested anymore . I'm not a slut or a prostitute but you made me feel like one . I'm sorry . But I'm not something you can just use and throwaway .

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I feel like I'm being used. I know I agreed to this. At first It felt right but then reality hits you. I don't think he likes me the same way, I think he only likes the idea of me. I've done this before, it feels right the first time but the second time when you know the consequences it's not as fun.
I feel small. I know I should stand up for myself but it's hard when you like someone, you don't want to brake the connection you have. I act all strong and independent but the truth is I'm just a girl. I have feelings and my feelings for you are real. Some times I just wish I could turn them off.

I'm anonymous and I'm gonna stay anonymous. Peace out and Merry Christmas baby! <3 <3

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. But let's just leave that for a second, along time ago I talked about my family and some of you asked about my living situation so I thought I'd tell you. When I was little we moved from Sweden. I lived there for five years and came back here after that. I knew something was wrong with my parents back then because my dad still worked in a nother country and me my mom and my brother lived here in Sweden. And when he used to come home for the weekends I could see they weren't happy with each other. I remember when I was like seven eight years old I think, I was so excited to see my dad. My mom had told me that he was coming home for the weekend to spend some time with us, I missed him so much. I mean he was my dad and had always been around , and Now he was home for like two days a month and then he called two days before he was coming home and told me that he couldn't because of work. I couldn't hold my tears back and started to cry. I was so disappointed at Myself for thinking that he would come home. That was the first time it happend, It kept going for at least a year. I pretended to be all happy and didn't tell anyone what I was going through because I thought it was silly. It took them four years to tell us that they wanted to break up. I was devastated when they told us that they were going to get a divorce. My dad moved to his parents and my mom kept the house. My mom was a stay at home mom she did all the work at home and my dad got the money now my mom does all the work at home and get the money. Five years later I still live in the house with my mom and my dad still lives with his parents. I usually don't tell people that he lives with his parents because I think it's a little bit awkward. I mean he's 52 years old and he can't even earn money. I mean he has a job but it doesn't seem to work out . I know it's complicated. He kept telling me for the past five years that he was going to earn money and I thought he was going to. I mean it's been five years come on dude you're 52 I mean is this a joke? The situation isn't a joke you're a joke dad. I'm sorry but I can't love someone who disappoints me every freaking time. if it takes you more than five fucking years to get an apartment it doesn't really feel like you want me. I was going to get you a Christmas gift this year but I'm like you I'm broke.

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So as many of you know I said on my my story last night that I had put up a new blog post. I blocked almost all my friends from seeing it because I wanted this to be anonymous. I just wanted some few people to see the story, but now all my friends saw it and some of them have come here to read my posts. Either I'm going to make a new blog or I'll delete everything. I don't know what to do. And for the person that I talked about in my last few posts. I'm sorry it wasn't meant for you to read it,this was going to be anonymous. If you wanna back out sure. I'm not anonymous anymore and I'm gonna try to stay anonymous. Peace out and Merry Christmas baby!!<3<3

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It's been a long time since I posted something on this blog I deleted a lot of posts and I want to start over and express my feelings again. I'm anonymous and I'm gonna stay anonymous. Peace out and Merry Christmas baby! <3 <3

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For the past few days I've gone to sleep whit a smile on my face. Just some attention from a guy and there's a zoo in My stomach. Gotta Love when someone just wants to be friends whit benefits!
I'm anonymous and I'm gonna stay anonymous. Peace out and Mary Christmas Baby<3<3

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