Took a trip to the blue pools outside Wanaka. The trip there was just as pretty as the destination. The pools were all in shadow wich makes it really cold, if your going, bring a jacket. We were freezing our bums off, but we were surrounded by friends and happiness while we sat down in the cold for some cheese and crackers enjoying the sound of the water rushing and beautiful views. Life is good, all is well
Since I got to Wanaka, I have felt like it's been a struggle. I ended up working a lot, at a job that was ok, but not much more. I missed my friends and my family. I felt like all I was doing was working or being tiered from working. And a few weeks ago I had a really ruff day at work. It was super busy, people were stressed out and tiered and I got in a argument or misunderstanding with my colleagues that made me very upset. I went from work crying and with a feeling of hitting rock bottom. But when I got home and I was all cried out I had, no bad feelings! I was not upset about what had happened, I did't feel hurt or sad. I didn't feel like i'd been wronged, I didn't feel bad towards any one els and most importantly I wasn't putting my self down for what had happened. I felt full of love and understanding towards everybody involved, I felt grateful of the things I learned from it and I felt fully at peace. And it just hit me, that this was what I needed, Not necessarily to have a dispute at work or with other people, but I had been carrying so much emotions and weight inside that once I let go, it all came out. And after letting all of that tension go, after just feeling all the feelings I had inside, I felt calm. For the first time since I got here I felt calm. I learned so much from this that in the end I was actually happy, we all do misstakes, we are all in the wrong sometimes, but if you can step away from that knowing what that was, willing to change it, to me that was a mistake worth doing, for me that is how we learn and develop. After this day I had two days off, I got to clear my head, got to see friends who had finally arrived in Wanaka and going back to work was so easy. Before it would have been hard, full of anxiety and regret but it wasn't. And ever sense this happened I have felt like things are finally going my way again.
The only time you will ever fail is the moment you're no longer willing to get back up
Try and then try again
Not much is happening right now, Working full weeks and on my two days off it's mostly restmode and a few hikes. I think this is why I'm missing home, this and because I am cold, ALL THE TIME with is not very fun. BUT.. This is good, I feel good, I feel that I have something to miss is something positive, it's something amazing, I have a home, friends and family, loved ones to Miss, There's a place in my heart for my home that is longing and this is good. I feel lucky to have something to miss. And this is not the worst place in the world to be homesick, It is so beautiful, and even though we're living on one paycheque at the moment and are saving every cent we can there's always a hike around the corner. So on my days off we always try to do a hike, the other morning we we're going to head up the mountain early to take some amazing pictures and be the first people on the slopes, but because of the cold our dear old Bob put the breaks on and refused to start.. We decided to take a walk by the lake instead and got some pretty pics from there. There is so much good here and right now i'm trying to fokus on that what is right here, right now instead of all the things that are not.
Only this moment counts. Right here, Right now
For three months I lived at this farm, For three months my stomach was in knots and my heart was breaking because of these dogs. Every day I had to see them sitting outside, every day I had to se their longing looks for company and love, everyday I felt helpless and awful. These dogs were tied up in short chains, with collars way to tight, with water that was green, with nothing more than a trailer and a small plastic box as a shelter. They sat outside 24/7, in sun, in rain, in thunder and lightning. We heard them barking after every thunder,... These were dogs, they can not speak for them self, they can not say that their hurting, but still. We know, A dog is intelligent, A dog needs compassion, love, shelter and care! All animals do, all animals should be treated with respect, they are beings, just as me and you!. I asked people what I could do, but it seemed like there was nothing, it seemed like this was the way of farm dogs in New Zealand, I thought about talking to the farmer about it, but it wouldn't had made any difference sense he thought his dogs were unintelligent beings who didn't feel pain and I felt helpless. Until I came down to Wanaka, I told our flatmate about these dogs (as I do to everyone sense this is something that is very bothering to me on a deep level) And she told me that there was something I could do! I could call the SPCA and they could help. So I Did! And the other day I got the call back. I got the call from a lady from SPCA saying that she had visited the farm, talked to the owner and know he has to build real shelter for these dogs, houses to get them off their chains. basically he has to start treating his dogs better or he will loose them. NEVER STOP TRYING TO HELP! I am so happy that, even though this was something that was so deeply horrifying to me, that I did not stop, I didn't stop talking about these dogs, I told everyone new I met and finally I met someone who knew that there was something that could be done! I feel so happy and my heart is lifted that even though it seemed impossible I did something to help these innocent dog who could not fend for them self. I wish that everyone out there had the common sense not to threat any living beings this way. I wish that this wasn't happening all over, but I believe that there is so much good out there, and joining together, standing up for what we believe in. To say NO, this is not okay and we want to change it. WE CAN
After 15 days of waiting, my board bag finally made it from Sweden to my door. Now I could finally head up the slopes with my own gear. I always love being back on my board, but for some reason this time is different. I can't seem to find my usual excitement. Is this because it is something completely different, winter time in June,.. No snow in town but snow up the mountains. Is it that my head is just confused or is it that this is not my hill, not my people, not my home, is it not comfortable. Is it an oppurtunity to learn more about myself? Yes, It's an opportunity to fully look within and discover what it is that is not letting me enjoy my love of riding. Maybe I am closing some feelings in, Maybe I am not where I am supposed to be, maybe I'm doing something I shouldn't. There is a crazy amount of thoughts in my head at the moment, maybe this is a sign that I need to calm my mind down, maybe all these thoughts are in the way. Whatever it might be never let anything be in the way of your happiness. Let it be a doorway
Wanaka a town full of wonderful views. If you ever travel to New Zealand, Wanaka and Queenstown is the places you have to visit. Full of wonderful mountains, glaciers, colours and culture. We are currently living in Wanaka, we live in a house with Melissa (Also called Mopps) and her cat Possum. We are waiting for another roomie to show up and two dogs to join us! First thing to know about houses in Wanaka is that they are really cold! Our first days here was SO cold, It was about -7 degrees during the night and probably wasn't much warmer inside.. Fortunately this is usually as cold as it gets here and it doesn't last for very long. We also have a fireplace to keep our house warm. During the days when it was colder we hiked up to the Rob Roy glacier, we went there pretty early and the frost were growing and it was incredibly beautiful. Getting closer to the glacier there was snow on the ground and trees and it felt like we were walking into Narnia. Tomorrow I'll start my new job for real, we have had an introducion week this week but tomorrow the mountain is open and I will do some actual work. My job is cafe assistant, which basically means that I'll stand at the till all day and take your money. At first when I got this job I was very excited, it isn't easy to get a job at the mountain and I felt proud to have gotten it. I was also exited to work up the mountain and everyone talked so good about it. Now my feelings have changed a bit, this past week have shown me more about what the job entails and it's a good job, don't get me wrong but it's not a job that I would choose, it's not a job that I am passionate about and I have come to realize that there's a difference between the two. But like now, you don't always have that many options and when traveling it is very common to grab whatever job you can get. But what I've come to realize is that I am exited to start to do something that I'm passionate about, to work with something that I love and most importantly something that I want to do and keep doing for a long time. Not just something that will be a means to an end but something that will last. Doing these jobs are okay for now but I am also taking time during this journey to go deep within to find that something that I want to do when I get back. Realising all of this not only this week but during this journey has been tough at times but I believe pieces are falling into place
"On and on you will hike. And I know you'll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are" - Dr Seuss
Traveling is amazing, don't get me wrong. But even though you're living it up in a amazing atmosphere you will stumble on to those days. Those days when nothing seems to go your way. Those days that you kind of just want to forget. Today was one of those days. From waking up and getting to work I just seemed to get blow after blow, nothing going my way, although I know it will all be okay in the end at the moment it struck hard. This is when I start missing home, and the saying "there's no place like home" fits in perfectly. I am not missing the streets or the stores or the nature. I am missing my people, My family, my friends, my support system. There is NO place like home, cause this is were I turn when I've had a bad day.
Growing up in a world where everyone told you to find yourself. Where you had to explain to people , your hobbies, your likes and dislikes for them to get to know you. For them to know who you are. Then of course you start thinking that that's who you are. You grow up trying to fit in, to find your place to find out what you want to do and be. But no one ever tells you that you are you. It does not matter what you like or dislike. It does not matter if you look and act like the rest of the world. It does not matter what you want to do when you grow up or what you want to be. I grew up in a world where no one thought me that all that matter is being. This is no ones fault. This is society today. We grow up learning that our feelings and thought are what makes us who we are. But I have come to realize that it is our thoughts and feelings that are in the way of us being who we are. I grew up trying to find my self and I never did. Because I was trying to figure something out by thinking instead of Bering, living right now. I grew up in the future, always trying to find something that would make me feel like me. I never knew that I am.
Kiwi Pickin in the middle of nowhere. Some Pics from the last few days. I'll tell you soon about what we're up to.
"An elephants faithful one hundred percent" - Dr Seuss
When someone writes a blog or post pictures on instagram, it's easy to forget to be real. It's so easy to post these amazing pictures with views that could be from a movie, with a happy quote that life is good and all is blissful. And I'm sure that in some cases this is also true, however I think that in most cases it is not. Life IS good, and I am so blessed to be on this trip and to get to experience these amazing places, But does that mean that I am always happy? No. And I think it is important while scrolling through your instagram or reading that blog you like so much that the people writing, the people posting, do they want to display their true life or just the image of what is good? If you sit at home scrolling through instagram and you see this picture of someone doing a perfect pose in the perfect clothes in front of a view that is indescribable, what do you think? how do you feel? It is at this point crucial that we remember that beneath the surface is a life. A soul just like yours, who have ups and who have downs, because that's life. Now my plan while starting up this blog had one purpose, to write the truth. All of it. And this is where I'm at, at this very moment. I am lying down in my bed, me and V has finally settled down for a little bit and oh how I was ready. Traveling was so much fun, but living in your car for almost two months, never knowing where you could park to sleep, or when you'd get to take a shower again, well let's just say I was over it, ready to live in one place, be able to cook good and healthy food, sleeping in a bed. And finally after a while searching, we found a good job in kiwi picking that would pay well. The job is quite though but it's a good job and we'll be able to save up quite a bit of money. This job is based in a small town called Te Puke, basically only known for its kiwis and there is not a lot els here. So finding accommodation is not that easy, luckily for us our job had a place where we could stay .... So now I'm lying here in my bed, we have a place to stay and a job so everything should be great right? Well it's not. I have never been more out of my comfort zone, the place is on a farm and is more a shed than a house. There is spiders and insects everywhere. I have anxiety just sleeping because I'm afraid of all the spiders, I do not want to cook sense the kitchen is outside with all the rest of the insects and cockroaches and frankly my appetite sense we've come here has been none existing. But the worst thing for me, living on this farm is the animals. I love animals and too see animals everyday that is not being treated well breaks my heart. From my bedroom I can hear the dogs barking, the dogs that are tied to a short lead on the yard all day and all night. Dogs that are so dirty that you wouldn't want to pet them, sitting in their own poo. We walked up to these two dogs, and they were so scared of us, put their tail between their legs and backed into a corner. One of the dogs lies all day under a trailer so if we wouldn't have walked up there we would never know that there were two of them. everyday I hear these dogs and I drive past them but there is nothing I can do. I am trying to make the best of it though, I have cleaned to try to get the bugs away, I am telling myself everyday how the spiders are nice insects who are more afraid for me than I them, and at least these dogs and farm animals are being fed, that I am so lucky that I have a roof over my head because so many don't (this thought usually just makes me feel guilty instead).. Some of you might read this and think I'm overreacting, that I'm being silly and ridiculous. Some of you might understand or have compassion, to me it doesn't really matter. These are my feelings, I like my kitchen clean, I don't like bugs in my clothes I don't like to see spider web everywhere I turn. And my heart breaks when I see animals that are hurting. However I do not think that it'll get any better by complaining. Complaint is unnecessary and it will only hurt and make things even worse. No I am not complaining, however I am expressing what I feel. I am being real, I am letting you know that I am struggling at this very moment, like it or not this is how I feel. I am being Present. This whole situation has made me question so many things in my life and has made me extremely home sick which is not a great feeling, no. But will I give up? No of course not I will keep making the best of it and I will grow. Life goes on and things will always get better. This to shall pass
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't, because sometimes you won't.
I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true
That bang ups and hang ups can happen to you - Dr Seuss (oh the places you'll go)