When someone writes a blog or post pictures on instagram, it's easy to forget to be real. It's so easy to post these amazing pictures with views that could be from a movie, with a happy quote that life is good and all is blissful. And I'm sure that in some cases this is also true, however I think that in most cases it is not. Life IS good, and I am so blessed to be on this trip and to get to experience these amazing places, But does that mean that I am always happy? No. And I think it is important while scrolling through your instagram or reading that blog you like so much that the people writing, the people posting, do they want to display their true life or just the image of what is good? If you sit at home scrolling through instagram and you see this picture of someone doing a perfect pose in the perfect clothes in front of a view that is indescribable, what do you think? how do you feel? It is at this point crucial that we remember that beneath the surface is a life. A soul just like yours, who have ups and who have downs, because that's life. Now my plan while starting up this blog had one purpose, to write the truth. All of it. And this is where I'm at, at this very moment. I am lying down in my bed, me and V has finally settled down for a little bit and oh how I was ready. Traveling was so much fun, but living in your car for almost two months, never knowing where you could park to sleep, or when you'd get to take a shower again, well let's just say I was over it, ready to live in one place, be able to cook good and healthy food, sleeping in a bed. And finally after a while searching, we found a good job in kiwi picking that would pay well. The job is quite though but it's a good job and we'll be able to save up quite a bit of money. This job is based in a small town called Te Puke, basically only known for its kiwis and there is not a lot els here. So finding accommodation is not that easy, luckily for us our job had a place where we could stay .... So now I'm lying here in my bed, we have a place to stay and a job so everything should be great right? Well it's not. I have never been more out of my comfort zone, the place is on a farm and is more a shed than a house. There is spiders and insects everywhere. I have anxiety just sleeping because I'm afraid of all the spiders, I do not want to cook sense the kitchen is outside with all the rest of the insects and cockroaches and frankly my appetite sense we've come here has been none existing. But the worst thing for me, living on this farm is the animals. I love animals and too see animals everyday that is not being treated well breaks my heart. From my bedroom I can hear the dogs barking, the dogs that are tied to a short lead on the yard all day and all night. Dogs that are so dirty that you wouldn't want to pet them, sitting in their own poo. We walked up to these two dogs, and they were so scared of us, put their tail between their legs and backed into a corner. One of the dogs lies all day under a trailer so if we wouldn't have walked up there we would never know that there were two of them. everyday I hear these dogs and I drive past them but there is nothing I can do. I am trying to make the best of it though, I have cleaned to try to get the bugs away, I am telling myself everyday how the spiders are nice insects who are more afraid for me than I them, and at least these dogs and farm animals are being fed, that I am so lucky that I have a roof over my head because so many don't (this thought usually just makes me feel guilty instead).. Some of you might read this and think I'm overreacting, that I'm being silly and ridiculous. Some of you might understand or have compassion, to me it doesn't really matter. These are my feelings, I like my kitchen clean, I don't like bugs in my clothes I don't like to see spider web everywhere I turn. And my heart breaks when I see animals that are hurting. However I do not think that it'll get any better by complaining. Complaint is unnecessary and it will only hurt and make things even worse. No I am not complaining, however I am expressing what I feel. I am being real, I am letting you know that I am struggling at this very moment, like it or not this is how I feel. I am being Present. This whole situation has made me question so many things in my life and has made me extremely home sick which is not a great feeling, no. But will I give up? No of course not I will keep making the best of it and I will grow. Life goes on and things will always get better. This to shall pass
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't, because sometimes you won't.
I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true
That bang ups and hang ups can happen to you - Dr Seuss (oh the places you'll go)