So 2018 has started in a pretty bad way to be honest. I don't wanna go into it too much, but let's just say it didn't start well. But there's a lot of days left of the year that hopefully will be a lot better. Today I have a small 2018 goal list, so let's begin!

Personal goal: I really wanna focus more on my singing this year, I have some minor problems with hitting high notes, so that's something I wanna work with this year. As a person I wanna focus more on getting out there, doing more things I normally wouldn't dare to do.

Relationship goal: As said, I will be changing schools this year, so I really hope to make new friends. As for love, it's really not something I wanna focus on this year, if it comes, then I'll let it be. But I won't be chasing after it.

Health goal: I always say that I wanna start running more or eating more healthy but we all now that ain't gonna happen.

Knowledge goal: I really wanna find new ways to get more motivated. I am so sick of school right now, especially with the thing that happened, that I barely wanna get out of bed in the mornings, so motivation is something I do need. Then it's of course to get through my first year of high school!

So that was a small list from my side, hopefully your year started better than mine.

A late happy new year!


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Thoughts, FInland

When I woke up today I had a very bad case of nostalgia. I scrolled through my pictures and got caught up on the photoshoots we had this summer, really miss those times. It's strange because in summer I always seem to miss winter but when winter finally comes I start missing summer, haha. But anyways, just because of this nostalgia I decided to write about my thoughts on the seasons we have here in Finland.



Spring:

I loved spring as a child, but not so much anymore. Spring in Finland means pretty much slushy snow and a yard full of mud and dirt. But when all that is over and the weather is slightly shifting towards warmer days, spring in Finland can be quite beautiful. The birds start coming back, the sun starts shining, the grass becomes greener and the trees get their leaves back. It's very fun to see all this happening slowly but surely around you, especially here in the country.

Easter is also a big thing around here (I'll have to write more about how the different holidays work in Finland another time) and a thing that really warms one up in the cold weather.


Summer:

Summer in the Finnish country is not necessarily warm but it's beautiful. I don't particularly like the summerdays, but I love the evenings. It's almost breathtaking watching the sun slowly set over the fields and you can get some pretty amazing pictures too.

The things I particularly love in summer is having phototshoots with my sister. We love photographing and we have amazing places to photograph at that are totally stunning in summer.

I also love taking walks in the forest with my bestfriend. We have a small route close by that we always go around and it' always fun to just talk about everything that has happened.

Bicycling is another factor. Me and my friend bicycled around 150km (93 miles) this summer and we always do crazy things on these trips that we make.

But it's mostly just those evenings when I help my mum in the garden or sit with her on the porch drinking tea or juice, those are the moments that stick

Autumn:

Autumn is totally one of my favorite seasons. It's so colorful and who doesn't love wearing overized sweaters and drinking warm tea? There's nothing I particularly do in autumn, but it's just so stunning seeing the trees change colors

Winter:

Winter is in a way very graceful. Today is actually the type of winter weather I love. The sun is slightly shining and the snow is like crystals on the grounds.

There is a slight change in air around winter, it's much fresher and easier to breathe, which is a reason I love winter. The evenings when it's dark and all the small lights around the house are shining and the snow is carefully falling down is also so relaxing to see. But the finnish winter is very cold and very dark. It gets boring pretty fast, which is also why the nostalgia of summer hits me right now.

-Em

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Thoughts, Body Positivity

Today has been a very mixed day. My 6 year old bunny passed away, she had been sick for a while and stopped eating in the end she got so sick her body couldn't take it anymore. It all happened so fast we didn't really notice. I've owned bunnies almost my whole life, mainly just as pets and I cried every time one passed away but today I mostly felt numb. I haven't cried or felt particularly sad either. I'm not happy of course, it does sting and I did get sad when I scrolled through pictures of her, but this is something you sign up for when you get a pet and I guess in a way I've gotten immune towards it. It will never stop hurting, but today just wasn't a day for tears.

Rest in peace Melody, my little angel

But that wasn't the only thing I wanted to write about today. I've thought long about what exactly I wanna write about and body positivity is one of them. I was pretty overweight some years back from now and that has left scars. I went down 10 kilos (22 pounds) on summer 2014 both through puberty and exercising and my weight has gone up and down after that. I've always had problems with my body and my weight and after that summer a kind of fear settled into me. I was scared of gaining weight. Right now I'm around 63 kilos (138 pounds). I don't have an particular sport I am good at or that I take lessons in and in winter I barely exercise at all. But in summer I do tend to run, take long walks and bicycle.

I have become better at ''loving'' my body. I still feel uncomfortable in some clothes that are a bit tight or show too much skin, but I have become better at accepting my weight and who I am. I am still in a way scared of gaining weight, though not as bad as it was in the beginning of my weight loss but I do admit that my heart always sinks a little when I have gone up some kilos or when clothes don't fit on me anymore.

But life is much more than the way you look and I have dreams and goals to achieve. You should never change yourself because of society or a relative, lover or friend. The only time you should is when it starts tearing down on your health. I also believe that when you learn to love yourself you automatically become even more beautiful because you feel more comfortable in your body and with yourself, that way you are more happy and relaxed. I am still learning to accept myself and I will continue to fight for my happiness. Weight does not define ones personality!

-Em

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I have been writing a blog in Swedish for years now and in a way it has always seemed kind of boring. I wanted to try something new, something challenging. I've always been interested in languages and the culture of different countries, so writing a blog in an foreign language seemed like an new adventure. I chose English, mainly because I am at least a bit decent in it's grammars and words.

Who am I then?

I am Emilia, though I will go under the pseudonym of Em in this blog. I live in the cold country that goes by the name of Finland, in Ostrobothnia. I am 15 years old and in only a couple of months a paper will be slipped under my nose where I will have to write which path I choose for my future.

But there is more to me than the anxiety of school and future I have passions, like creating; writing, singing, drawing pretty much anything. There's just something about creating things yourself and giving life to it in your own special way that makes it flutter in my stomach.. I also love photographing. I have an Canon EOS1100D with the EFS 18-55mm and 50mm objectives. So there will be a lot of pictures on this blog!

What more? I do not, to be honest, know where I wanna go with this blog. I wanna write about my life, my future, my past. I wanna tell you about my home country, about how it is to live in the middle of nowhere. I wanna write out my frustrations, my anxiety, my thoughts and my wonders.

But most of all I wanna learn. Learn how to form my thoughts into stories, how to create masterpieces of the things in my head.

For so long

-Em


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