Good evening everyone, and welcome to my seasonal journal slash blog. I'm writing this mid flight on the way to CKG from SRG💛 This is my first time writing for the blog 20,000ft above the ground, so I'm kinda proud of it(?)

Btw, I posted a snapgram last night, and Darrell did not recieve it well. This has been one of the many times he somewhat hint me to discard the post because I do not look good enough. He's afraid that my image will be broken- maybe.

Squad, it is true that I do not always look good in pictures. I'd blame the camera for only being able to catch in 2D, whereas mirror catches 3D😞

Believe me. I've seen girls posting pictures of themselves doing mirror selfie, endorsing stuffs, taking selfie with a dog filter, and I am nothing like that. Some girls might be the "i only post pictures where i look good" kinda people, some post inspiring quotes, or beautiful scenery, some treat instagram as a lookbook, some as diary, some for pencitraan and some doesn't even care.

Well I do care about what I posts. I care about the moments, whether my face looks acceptable for public consumption. Posting pictures on instagram has been my habbit for years and I have been on many stages in life. The "I'm new to instagram" stage, "posting life quotes" stage, "sweet seventeen era", "dear diary" and finally the "i post moments where the background fits my feed" stage.

Believe me, instagram has taught me a lot about life. It has made me realize that imperfection is truly the real beauty. I notice some guys loving accounts of girls posting their face/their body/themselves. I know I don't post pictures where I look good. That is one of my considerations but not the main thing.

Moments are way more to me. The feeds where many expressions are shown. Not only candid pics of myself looking at certain places, or awkwardly clutching my booty and elongating the legs.

The beauty I believe in is beyond all that. It is more than just the appearance, the Instagram posts, the feeds. I believe that beauty is when someone is brave enough to acknowledge their flaws, to share what they stand for, to show them their many expressions.

So this is not me, being against girls posting pretty pictures of themselves. This is me, being against the shallow standard of beauty. It is stupid of people to judge whether a girl is beautiful or not only based on her Instagram account.

I've heard people saying that I look ugly on pictures, at least not as decent. I've heard some said "yovela ga pernah bener di foto". I pray that they can meet me in person someday, and I'll happily acknowledge their thoughts on how true that is. Darrell even made me erase some posts just to avoid negative comments addressed to him about me. But I'm not gonna change for image. I'm keeping this image. I like my life already😃

Its nice to see comments like "cantik ce" "pretty💕". But believe me, it is wayyyyy nicer to see people starting a conversation based on the post. Teases, jokes, laughters, real truthful comments, happy comments, I always consider them better anyways.

So hereby, squad, let's stand up, fight photo-shaming, body-shaming, image-shaming, Instagram-shaming or what ever this is called. This is to the unnecessary standard of beauty judged by Instagram posts.

Post expressions. Post the moments. Share the laugh🌟

Bonus foto flight hari ini:) love the sky🌙

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Hello everyone! Hope you don't mind me sharing about this but here it goes

Darrell and I, we've been really blessed with a good life. In this a little over a year together, we certainly do not have trouble going to restaurants, either small or fancy. We barely ever got in no transport situations, because even if the cars are unavailable, uber and grabs do, and we have no trouble paying for it.

Yesterday was another blessing for us as we get to go to Puncak. Our 16 hours quality time was spent mostly on traffic. 10 hours on the road, as I recall. But during those 10 hours, I got to question life. No, not really HAHA

It's just that- we are very blessed with a really comfortable car. Darrell's car got switched last minute, and we got to experience driving out of town with a car that has soft, back-supporting seats, with automatic adjustment for the drivers, windows that slows down by themselves when closing so that we won't be bothered by the noise, a sunroof which is definitely a feature I wish to be available in my car, nice speakers, lots of space, and so many buttons, which made my curiousity went wild as I started pressing on everything. EVERY THING. Darrell loved it too as he got to drive fast and smooth because the gas is just goals. Upon everything, this definitely made the 10 hours pretty bearable🚘

You know, people next to our cars may not feel as comfortable as we did. It is common knowledge that driving automatic cars are less complicated than manual cars. And there are cars with so many people in it with really tight sitting space. We can totally dance in the backseat and still jump to the bagage space in the further back. We notice that other cars may not run as smooth as ours in the tolls. But yet they are as excited to go home as we did.

And then I learned about value. Whatever cars they are in, they save up to pay for it. They are definitely proud of their accomplishment. Same as those in fancy cars. They save up for it too. We definitely shouldn't make fun of others because whatever they go through we do not know. Darrell and I, we did not make fun of others merely because the car we were in aren't ours to begin with.

But this is a reminder. That values are subjective. The value of the cars are subjective, same as clothing, food, housing, bags and stuffs. It reminds us to understand that people work for what they have. To see the world as objective as possible. And to have respect.

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HELLO EVERYONE ---- btw itu fotonya sama sekali ga nyambung sama what I am going to say, tp ya sudahlah it's been so long since I went hunting for beautiful artistic pictures, but well umm Happy super belated Valentine's Day❤ Please know that you are loved:)

Sooooo back again with me, and I am very very very excited to write about this

Makasih ya ma atas kenaikan uang jajan bulan ini:):) I am so so proud of you and dad for being so pengertian terhadap anaknya yang nan jauh di d e p o k. Okay, udahan weird nya

Anyways, setelah sekian lama MIA (kalo kata youtuber itu artinya Missing-In-Action), I am back people😃 I am also back writing from my apartment room, mengamati sunyinya Jalan Margonda kalo siang bolong, dan macetnya kalo pagi dan malam. Saking gada kerjaannya, bahkan gue suka nge babay babayin orang orang pulang kantor yang kena macet. Ngebayangin, mungkin dalem mobil mereka nyetir sambil setengah ketiduran, lama karena ga nyampe nyampe rumah.

Another thing that's been changing adalah progress pembangunan tower apartment baru di sebelah tower gue. I like the fact that the machine that goes up, and then turns in circle over 90 degrees, dan suka berbunyi bunyi kayak lagi ngebeton kalo malam hari.

Apalagi yahhh....? I am not sure sebenernya, ada ga sih yang suka baca baca freestyle typing kaya begini? HAHAHA I promise I'll write about something much more important next💪

Oh, my friends Kania and Mayang baru aja mulai pelihara kucing. Kania's pet cat namanya Toffee, and Mayang's namanya Molly(-pop). I'm not a big fan of cats, but seeing them so so busy taking care of their cats bikin gua sadar, that one day we're going to be parents. Bahkan gue jadi a mother, omg can you believe that. Kalo jagain kucing aja bisa bikin standby 24/7 apalagi kalo a real human baby? Their expanses and stuffs ---> this is why you do it when you're married ----> so the husbands can work for them instead. (Feminism squad, this is just a joke, I repeat, just. a. joke.)

OH IYA, tanggal 15 lalu gue (dan seluruh '97-'98-'99 squad) finally had our first Pilkada. And I couldn't be more proud to nyoblos right on Mr Basukibtp's cheeks. Vinka, Queenshell, and I spent half of the day staring at Kompas TV and bolak balik pos penghitungan suara just to see if Mr Basukibtp and Mr Djarot won ----> they technically won most votes, but we still need to do the 2nd round. We can do it #gue2 squad

This whole Pilkada thing has made me realise about a much bigger thing actually- I think I like Journalism better than advertising now. I used to thing that I'd love to work in the advertising firm, creating TV ads, and posters, billboards and selling stuffs. But the fact that reporting events, and giving updates to my friends about what is happening in the world right now gives me life, I just think that maybe, if this continues, I am going to take Journalism as my major in Australia later on. I don't know yet, but you get my point.

And so here I am, neglecting work to chat with the virtual keyboard and laptop screen, and possibly whoever reads until this paragraph. Well, thank you for reading💛 I hope everyone have a nice day:):) See you around!

This is Joceline and I, reaching for our dreams (sort of)

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Kau dan aku, terbatas langit biru

Segudang harap, merah muda bersemu

Aku lupa rasa, lupa raga

Sentuh hancur dimensi waktu

.

Kau

Abu dalam kelopak rindu

Jingga mentari, kita lestari

Tidak, tidak

Ingat rasa, ingat raga

Hilang hati.

08 12 15

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"I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know that the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
(Ephesians 3:18-19)

It's 9.22pm as I start writing this post. At this time of the day I am usually focused on raising my sims, but today might be a little different. Some people might call me a little too "religious", but truth is, yes I keep a Bible in my apartment room, and yes, I (sometimes) read it.

Today's verse reminded me of something, I'll just quickly burst it here before I forget everything, so bare with me guys.

It's funny because most of the time, when someone asks me "What are the things God has done that makes you feel loved?" I'd answer with grand answers, such as "HE helped me got into UI even though I was sick during the day of the test" "HE helped me survive Social Statistics class" and many more of these kind. But this verse from Ephesians (Efesus; I totally googled on how it's called in English merely seconds ago) makes me realise that I do not completely comprehend on God's love.

It is not only about the grand things He does. But also the ordinary things I find everyday. It is deep, long, wide and high. It surpasses all knowledge. God's love is when my classmate offered me a ride home from the campus. It is when a friend lent me her umbrella to use on a rainy day when I have to catch class. And when I was walking with a friend under the pouring rain, and getting wet together, so that I won't look soaked up all alone. It is as simple as calling my family right before bedtime.

It is supposed to be felt everyday, every minute, every single second. God's love is when I get to share this beautiful realisation to those who read this.

And so I was reminded today, to always be thankful for everything in life. To always give God credits on all the little things, even ones we do not find extra ordinary

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A little sharing won't hurt, so here it goes-

Setelah memutuskan untuk pergi ke Konser Gue 2 secara dadakan, gue dan Darrell pun tiba di (Ex) Driving Range Senayan pada pukul 16.30. Satu jam setengah sebelum konser usai, bravo bravo👏 Cuaca saat itu cerah, engga ada tanda-tanda mau ujan lagi (setelah earlier ujan deres), jadi payung pun kami tinggal di mobil.

Di halaman depan, terlihat ibu-ibu sedang menarikan yel yel Ahok-Djarot yang hip hip hura hura. Aksi ibu-ibu ini ternyata cukup menarik sehingga Darrell pasrah aja ketika gue pasang tampang 'please please kita masuk ke arena desakan di dalam'. It's really fun to watch kotak-kotak worn by people at so many different levels. Ibu-ibu, bapak-bapak, anak-anak, kakek, nenek, berkerudung, tidak berkerudung, chinese, non-chinese, bahkan bule. Sayangnya gue meninggalkan syal kotak-kotak mama di rumah (saking buru-burunya berangkat...)

Hip hip hura hura, coblos nomor 2✌

Slank was half way through the performance ketika kami sampai di area panggung. I was surprised karena despite pernyataan di medsos tentang '18 and above only', banyak baby dan anak-anak yang datang. Ada yang sampai bela-belain gelar tiker di atas rumput HAHAHA😄

Baru sekitar 10 menit kami berada di tengah kerumunan orang, hujan turun bertepatan dengan akhir penampilan dari Slank. Dari yang awalnya rintik-rintik, tiba-tiba berubah deras. Orang-orang pun langsung berlarian mencari tempat berteduh, termasuk gue dan Darrell yang GA bawa payung. Kami sempat memutuskan untuk udah deh balik aja, sampai Slank meneriakan yel-yel "GUE DUA GUE DUA" "PILIH YANG LURUS, PILIH YANG JUJUR". Ternyata Pak Ahok dan Pak Djarot naik ke atas panggung untuk speech penutup.

Dengan wujud se mini ini, my eyes couldn't possibly locate where Ahok-Djarot were standing at. But just standing there made my day. Speech Pak Ahok dan Pak Djarot tentang "Perbedaan itu menguatkan" begitu membuat kami terharu. Gue bisa ngeliat decak kagum dari orang-orang sekeliling tempat gue berdiri. Seorang ibu beretnis Tionghua tersenyum super lebar sambil menepuk-nepuk bahu anaknya. Bapak di belakang gua berteriak "Gue dua" setiap kali Djarot menyampaikan kalimat penuh makna.

It's blurry but gold🌟

"Kita akan tunjukan bahwa Bhineka Tunggal Ika bukan hanya jargon, tapi sudah menghuni Jakarta! Siapapun kalian, apa agama kalian, apa suku kalian, dari mana asal suku kalian, saudara-saudara semua adalah saudara kita sebangsa senegara. Semua mempunyai hak dan kewajiban yang sama! Jangan tanyakan dari mana kau berasal, jangan tanyakan apa agamamu! Tapi tanyakan apa yang telah kau perbuat untuk Jakarta! Oleh karena itu, mari kita tunjukan bahwa kita mampu mewujudkan perdamaian💛" - Pak Djarot

Jujur speech ini benar-benar membuat gue terharu. Bisa berada disana, diantara kerumunan orang dengan etnis yang berbeda-beda, agama yang berbeda-beda, berkumpul untuk mendukung orang yang sama saja sudah cukup untuk membuat gue merasa kembali ke rumah. Masalah 'penistaan agama' 'kafir kafiran' boleh sedang dibicarakan dimana-mana. Tapi ramainya konser ini menunjukkan bahwa masih banyak orang nasionalis di Indonesia ini. Masih banyak yang menjunjung tinggi Pancasila dan berani menitipkan mimpi kepada seseorang dengan etnis dan agama yang berbeda dari mereka.

Words can't describe how thankful I am to be there. Standing in the crowd, fighting for Indonesia's most precious treasure, that is Bhineka Tunggal Ika❤

Kotak-kotaknya ketinggalan, saking buru-burunya HAHA😃

"Eh ini foto latarnya itu aja, lebih bagus, kayak diluar negeri tuh liat deh gedung-gedungnya" - Kata seorang bapak baik hati yang mau aja diminta tolong fotoin, bahkan sampai ngarahin latarnya segala👍

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You’re the one I’ll never get the chance to explore.

The little piece of happiness I’ll never complete.

The unspoken obscurity.

The allure that is never going to fade.

The tenderness I get to experience in mere count.

The love I was never meant to recieve.

And believe it or not,

You, sir, are my unattainable reverie.

Sep 2015

Photo by Joceline Surjadi
Loc: Galeri Nasional Indonesia

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