I sat in the corner of the room, glanced at your way. The pain in your veins went right through mine. The sadness in your eyes and the fear in your heart hit right within me. Every corner reminds me of you. Every part of this place is a reminder of you. I can swear that I see your reflection.. 

I miss you 

I need you 

But mostly, 

I am sorry that I couldn't be with you when you needed me the most. 

Forgive me. 

Yours dearly, 

- S 

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​Dear whoever is reading this.. 

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting anything in a while. In all honesty, I wasn't sure what to write. I'm still not sure. 
The words and thoughts are running like crazy in my head but I can't write them, say them or type them. I feel blocked. I feel lost ​and everything seems faded. I haven't been feeling that well lately. Instead of joy and happiness I feel pressured and stressed. I'm not sure if it's because my heart misses that one person I can't seem to let go or if i's because of the amount of work I have that I glance at but don't touch. 

What do you guys do when you are having a bad day or a bad period in life? How do you get that everything-will-be-fine-feeling back? I miss that feeling... 

ps: Do you guys want me to talk about anything special here on the blog? Like I said in my first post, this is a platform that belongs to all of you. I might be the one writing but you guys are just as important. 

(And I'm aware of the dull blog I have, it's under construction haha. Hopefully the blog will be completely finished soon and I will bring my A-game with the writing, no matter how blocked I am) 

- S 

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Today i wrote at least three blog posts. But i didn't post any of it
Today I felt lost. Lost in life, and not in a good way. The urge of control of my life is gone. Nothing is there anymore.
There is nothing left for me to control. I feel like i'm running still. I'm trying to move, trying to grasp something to hold onto but everything i touch slips right out of my hands. It's like I'm in a tug of war with life. And I lost.

Maybe it's for the better, maybe not. Maybe this emptiness that used to be filled with control will be filled with something else. Maybe life has got a plan for me. I guess I have no choice but to wait for that plan to make a stand in my way. Maybe this is the time where control is substituted with spontaneous.

So many maybes and so little control. Such a long road and no answers. So little time and so much to do.

- S







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Future me,

I hope you’ve got it all figured out by now because while writing this, my head is all over the place. I’ve always known what I wanted and I sincerely hope you have at least tried to make sure that the dreams and hopes you’ve dreamt of are no longer just a dream or just a hope that you’re holding on to.

I have great plans for you, future me. But I’m afraid you won’t realize that. I’m scared that you don't have enough faith in yourself to realize what you are capable of doing. Yes, you might not be the first person to commit to something, to make something happen or to start anything. But, when you’ve set your mind to something you go all in, you put every little ounce of passion, time and hard work into it. You nurture it, you make sure nobody gets in the way. But the best part is the desire and fire that shines through you. That side of you shines brighter than the sun my friend.

I’m certain you know all of this. And I’m also certain that you know about the big dark cloud you carry along with you as I watch you grow. I truly believe that, that cloud is the main reason why you are so scared of getting out of your shell and letting the world see your true colors. You’ve always been a great advisor but man you really suck at taking our own advice!

You’ve put your fears, dreams, hopes, ambitions, plans and ideas into this one big cloud. And I’m pretty sure you keep stuffing that cloud as you read this, if not great, but if you are, then shame on you. Now tell me, what are you waiting for!? What’s all of the stuffing going to do? Because it sure as hell not helping you or solving anything for you. If you’re waiting for a new Big Ben to happen, forget it! You can’t expect that after the big explosion everything will fall into place. Life doesn’t work that way. I taught you better than that.

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Dear.. definitely not diary, maybe reader? I'm not sure
Let's not put a label on it and make it to whatever it will become

Writing is a huge part of my life. I see it as a way of therapy. Sometimes you may not want to say the words out loud but you have to say it somehow. Writing is the answer, for me at least. The reason behind not giving a proper introduction such as, "My name is blablabla and in my blog I will talk about this and that", is because I want to create a platform for everybody. This blog is not only for me, but also for you.

Leaving comments about your thoughts, stories and share whatever you feel like is what this blog will be about.
I might write just a simple sentence rather than a long blogpost but with a lot of meaning behind it or talk about things you may not find agreeable at all, that's fine! Discussion and sharing opinion is what this is for. Writing is the key here.

I will be writing in english. Why? Well.. I find it easier for me to express myself and english is also a language that most people are familiar with, so why not. 

As you already might tell, this is not your everyday blog that pops up among the crowd. But then again, what's wrong with being unique and starting off a journey like no other.
Tag along!

- S

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