Food at Chino Chinatown in trinity groove...

As I told you yesterday I met up with Amanda, Julia and Janina for dinner downtown. I haven't explored that much around here yet but I really liked that place. It was a bunch of restaurants situated next to each other that had outdoor seating and cosy lights. We went to a Latin American inspired Asian restaurant. I ordered the elote and the guacc and chips. It was soooo delicious. Their food looked great too. Thumbs up! Deffinatley a new favorite place to hang out at for dinners.

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It's so weird sometimes how your emotions really can control you and take over. I was in a good mood! I worked out and had a great night with some friends here in Dallas! We had a delicious dinner and just hung out downtown. I was just posting a picture of my brother and me on Instagram when I got home saying that I miss him and that hilarious day we had together in New York when he was visiting me. I randomly slide in on his ex, aka my friends', Instagram and saw her new posts of nyc from when she's was there recently. It all just comes over me when I'm looking at those pictures thinking about those places and all the people I met and memories created there during the past year. It's so hard. I don't even think I realize how hard it is. How much I'm actually suffering from this separation.

My cousin asked me earlier today if I missed New York and I replied. "I'm not really allowing myself to miss it cause it would've been too hard, same thing with everything and everyone in Sweden!". And it's so true. I just wasn't strong enough tonight. I miss my kids so so so so so much, even Mark and Mike, the other nannies, the kids teachers, all the promotes that somewhat turned into friends, all my friends and people I just always met out. I miss home, home as in nyc. I really did left a piece of me there. I know I'm gonna come back but I doesn't matter now. It doesn't make the pain go away. Well maybe just a little...

I've experienced love, like the real one. The one that makes you so happy but also can hurt so much. Only during these occasions have I ever felt this much. It's like you feel your muscles around your heart working. Cause you're truly hurting, all the way into your heart. It's the same feeling now. I'm in love, in love with my past year and the place I was living in, and being separated from my love and loved ones is painful. Painful as fuck!

I remember reading a caption on instagram saying something or explaining that it doesn't matter how bad the political conditions are, how high the taxes are, how dirty the city is or how expensive it is to live there. It has something that you can't find anywhere else, something you can't touch or put into words. Only if you've lived there you know what it's about and how hard or even impossible it is to leave. And add up a bunch of awesome people on that and...et voila!

Putting myself back into previous days and moments makes me so happy and fills my heart with joy but it makes me so sad at the same time thinking that it's over. But it's like that with everything in life and that's what's it's about. Creating these awesome moments that just fills you up and then working hard on trying to create an environment or lifestyle that allows you to have as many magical moments in your life as possible. Can you imagine always going to bed with a bubbly feeling in your stomach and a smile on your face. That's my #lifegoals

And all of a sudden I'm feeling better again. I think getting it all out and writing it down makes me feel better. So here you go people - a piece of the one-and-one therapy session by me, myself and I. And after I've written it down I realize that I should just try to be positive and grateful about the new situation I'm in. Because you know what, you always have to be positive. Or at least that's what I think you should try to do. Don't waste your energy on things you can't change or affect. This one is different though. It's not like I got a parking ticket. Those ones you just have to pay and move on with life with a smile on your face. I'm trying to handle this move and change in almost the same way. And it's working pretty well. It's just nice to see that you're actually a human too and get hurt and sad sometimes. Even though I feel pretty stupid considering it's a city I'm talking about. But I think both you and me understand that it's more than that by now...

So to summarize it all. My last year was great, I miss everyone and everything from it but I'm trying to focus on the future and on the positive things waiting ahead but sometimes I'm not strong enough - like tonight, so I cry a little, get it out there and move on excited for what's to come and grateful and proud of what I achieved and experienced!

Friends all over the globe - you are missed! I might not think about you all the time cause it would hurt to much. But I always carry you in my heart and bring you out when I need you or when I feel like you deserve en extra thought.

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Last nights crew and me trying to look professional filling up the car. In jersey you're not allowed to do it yourself - you just pull in and there's people helping you so I'm trying to get back on track...

I went for a walk with the dog yesterday when I was done with work and caught up with Elin on the phone. She just bought an apartment in a really nice and cosy area in Gothenburg so now I'm even more excited about coming home and hang out with her on her own home. It's a year from now though if everything goes according to plan but who doesn't like having things to look forward to.

I took a shower after the walk and met up with some Swedish Au pairs at Village burger down in cosy West Village for some food. I ended up ordering a bowl of sweet potato fries, truffle fries and onion rings. The guy behind the desk was like "That's perfect for sharing!" I was like "Oh, it's only for me!" Haha. But I wasn't that hungry and no meat and gluten for me and didn't feel like having a veggiepattie wrapped in lettuce so this was perfect. My shirt even says french fries with that trasher inspired font. Got it at the men's department at American eagle if any of you wonder. Love to match a printed tee with a cute skirt even though I went for the leather look yesterday.

It was St. Patrick's day yesterday but we didn't really celebrate. I don't know with all these holidays. Since I'm not drinking or eating sugar either before Coachella it's not really that fun going to a bar ordering a water and just chill. I feel that there's so many holidays so you can just choose which ones you wanna celebrate.

Anyways, we went back home after the dinner, picked up bikinis and another girl and drove for almost an hour to hang out to some friends or theirs. The guy they knew was a Swedish guy that moved here with his family e few years ago so we hung out with him and his American friends in his house. We flipped some cups and took a looong bath in his outdoor jacuzzi. So nice being outside in march, not freezing, looking up to clear sky of stars. The moon was shining bright too - it was a beautiful evening! I'd say it turned out to be a great St. Patrick's day.

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Outside of church today...

Hi guys, long time no see! I'm down in Dallas and I'm gooood. Things are working out pretty well and I'm starting to settle in. I've almost been here two weeks now. I've found some Swedish Au pairs (thank you facebook) that I've been seeing a few times and I met some other people today at church. Yes these are my only friends, sometimes it's hard to understand why I left everything I had in jersey...but I mean I did the same thing a year ago when I left Sweden and that turned out amazing so that's what I'm going for again!

Janina, a Swedish Au pair, invited me last Tuesday to "the porch" which is a night for young adults at the waterfront church. I liked it so we went today again and I think it's gonna be my new Tuesday tradition. Janina's been going for a year now, she's on her second year here in Dallas. It's so nice having people around showing you these things!

I met Savannah today too, a girl that helped my family with the kids a few times and the mum has been telling me about her so I was super excited to meet her today and she was so sweet! Can't wait to hang out with her.

And I guess some of you are a little bit confused now since I'm not really religious. But I like to try new things and I actually went to a Christian kindergarten or pre-school as you call it nowadays. So it's cool to see that I actually remember stuff that we talked about when I was between 2-6 years old! Sometimes it's hard to listen and take it all in when you don't feel like you agree at all with what they're talking about but that's ok. I have my own beliefs and what so ever and you can listen and take in the information and interpret it the way you want. At least that's what I'm doing at the moment. To be continued...

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Find delicious southern food in New York at East 3rd Street...

Me and Becca went out on a date one of my last nights in the city. Such a perfect way to end my year. She told me about this restaurant that she went with her boy called root&bone and they both loved it so we went there too. My favorite was the brusselsprouts and to enjoy a glas of wine with this nice and calm dinner haha. This was my first time trying chicken and waffles since I'm trying to eat glutenfree and vegetarian but I wanted to try it before I moved from nyc cause a lot of people have been talking about it! And it was good! Not my favorite combination but absolutely something you should try!

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Avocado toast and a ricotta cake...

This is how I spent my last Monday in nyc. Brunch in TriBeCa with Becca at Two hands! Amazing start after a chill weekend. Some people were super hungover but I'm not gonna mention any names...

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I miss my babies...

I always had mixed emotions about sleeping at home during weekends in jersey because it didn't always mean that much sleep and sometimes more "work". But having my little boy cravling up next to me in the middle of night was pretty cosy. Waking up next to him snoring and having Annie joining after a while for morning cuddles is just precious. Building a house for their teddies and ending the morning with a nice weekend breakfast are just moments I keep close to my heart.

Sometimes it's hard to measure your professional achievements working like this and not feeling that you're just hanging around...I wanna say, put this down in words for myself, I did a pretty good damn job for 365 days with these kids. I gave them all my love and tried to give them the best time possible. I just hope they'll remember and appreciate me in the way I'll remember them. I miss you every day!

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Pictures from my Friday and Saturday morning in the city...

I've been so bad on keeping you posted here - so many things going on all the time! But as the head line says...this is my last weekend here on the east coast. Feels so weird to write that down. This is my life now and I'm just about to leave it. I'm not gonna move back to Sweden though. I've found a new family in Dallas, TX, that I'm moving to on Thursday morning. Aaahh, need to write a post about that! I have so many feelings and memories now that I need to tell you about. Hopefully I'll make some time for you guys in Dallas...Before that I'm gonna try to enjoy my last days here!

I just wanted to tell you about my weekend so far. I was working until six on Friday and we all decided to go out on a last family dinner at a local restaurant after that. I took a train to the city when we were done and went bowling with some new friends and Becca at Chelsea piers. I was really bad haha...I remember myself being better! We stopped by Tao for a little bit before we went home. So crazy to think that that was my last time at Tao in a while. I've spent SO many nights there. But the best thing was when I was standing there with a water bottle in my hand dancing for the last time - I felt that I was done in a way. I've been going all in this year and I can really leave this place feeling that I truly did the most of it.

We met up Elin and Sofie for a brunch at Friedman's right next to Penn station before I went home for work. Such a cosy start to the weekend!

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Tons of pictures from my Sunday watching Super Bowl for the first time...

Sunday's have come to be one of my favorite days here. Well usually cause it's my day off but also because New Yorkers are pretty good at having a "Sunday Funday!". I usually spend it at Bounce but because it was the Super bowl Sunday they did a pop-up at the highline ballroom to fit all the people and to watch the game on a big screen. I met up with Becca there at 5pm and Elin and Freja came too. We got a great spot at the table right in front of the big screen. We watched the game meanwhile we enjoyed some classic sports bar food and drinks. It was super fun but we got a little bored and decided to change location and went to Lavo after Lady Gagas halftime performance. Becca and Freja took off so it was just me and Elin. The game started to become really exciting when we got to Lavo and I was watching every last minute while I was sipping on a drink. This was actually the first game I really "watched" and it was so fun. I don't think I understand it all yet but hopefully I'll learn! Definitely need to watch one live soon! As you all know the patriots won after doing the first touchdown on extra time.

We went upstairs and had some dinner in the restaurant before the day ended and I went down to Becca and had a sleepover again since I was off Monday. Thumbs up for Super Bowl!

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Me and Becca had a pretty day last friday...

After 9 hours of work and a 3 hour nap I woke up by myself feeling relaxed and cosy until I realized I'd overslept for two hours! I'd put the alarm on am instead of pm...That calm feeling quickly changed to stress since I was supposed to be sitting on a bus 40 minutes ago and I was still in bed. I guess you're not surprised by now. This is what my life looks like basically haha... so I did what I always do and got my shit together and made it to the next bus.

I was meeting up with Becca after she was done with work at Megu - an Asian restaurant in meatpacking. I was late but not that late so there was still some food left for me. Hadn't eaten since lunch (since I fell asleep) so I was pretty hungry. After Megu we went next door to Tao for a night of fun. And it was, so much fun! We woke up tired and hungover in her host family's beautiful apartment in TriBeCa. Could've been worse...

So Becca lives in the city but hasn't really spent time in Brooklyn. So I decided to bring her to two of my favorite spots in Williamsburg. Five leaves for lunch and Westlight at the William Vale hotel for coffee and a cake. Everything was so delicious and we had a great time and we realized that we are more alike then we could've imagined haha. For every ten minute that had passed we had found out another thing that we had in common. So scary haha at the end we were not even surprised anymore!

We ended the night at Phd and Avenue with her boy D. Such a fun day that goes down to history!

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