Hello everyone! 

Today's been a somewhat productive day today. Me and Frida went to Lotte Market nearby and bought our dictionary for school and looked around for some clothes. It all ended up with us heading home with one shirt and some food. After that we just strolled around in Hoegi for some more clothing shopping - and we happened to find a local market where everything is rather cheap compared to other stores. So there's where we'll be heading for grocery shopping from now on! 

Right now we're just cooking some cup ramen for lunch, listening to some music and just relaxing. It's been two hectic days, we need to relax some as well ---- 

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Hello everyone! This will just be a quick update 'cause it's so late here right now. It's 1.21 AM and I've been up on the go all day. Been experiencing new environments in Itaewon and got to meet some new (rad) people. Also got some more shopping done since I've been leaving lots of stuff at home to decrease my luggage weight - and to be honest I knew that I'd go buy stuff anyway haha! It's so cheap here and the people working have such nice service. I'm really enjoying myself! The weather's been really nice, woke up to 20C and I think it got to 27C at most with some cool winds. Amazing!

Here are some pictures, will do a more proper blog post tomorrow...!

Good night, evening or morning where ever you are!



So... my first food experience.

We were just strolling around after meeting up with each other, all four of us. Me and Frida were extreamly hungry since we hadn't eaten much during that day. We found this nice place and thought "oh lets get inside". Luckily for me and Nanna, we got into a sushi place. Hanna and Frida weren't too fortunate though since they don't fancy it.

They served us miso soup and some other extras before our food arrived. First of all-

We did not really know what we ordered cause there were no translations, obviously. The sushi was obvious but what kind of sushi? no idea. Frida and Hanna tried to ask the staff for what the noodles are but they barely spoke any english so they just went all in for it.

Now, I don't know how korean people stay so skinny WITH PORTIONS THIS BIG. The noodle soup they received was FOR LIKE THREE PEOPLE but according to them - one person. We could see people all around us eating this up rather quickly and here we are struggeling for our lives to finish half of it, haha!

This was my first time interracting with people who got really insecure since they couldn't speak english that well. Every other person, young as old, have been really good and confident in english (since they're the ones who comes up to us and starts the conversation), so yeah, my first experience with that. Nothing serious, just a memory since the whole situation was crazy and fun.



Hello everyone!

I'm finally back to where I can explain to you about my every day situation. For some reasons I haven't posted too much cause I didn't want to tell too many people around me about this decision before it actually taking place. But here I am, (not really) settled in my tiny dorm and very much alive.

The journey was a living hell. Stockholm to London was okay, was met by some rude people working there but that's okay I guess. But the change of departure from Hong Kong to Seoul was a whole nother story. We had 50 minutes to get off our flight until the plane was about to leave for Seoul. We checked the gate number which said 219, so like any functional human being we walked there. ONLY to find out that the flight, 20 minutes before departure, was changed to 25!! 25!!!! Which means that we had to run with all our bagage, thick clothing etc in 28C degrees humidity through the whole airport. We made it but that was too close of a call... Goodness I was so sweaty after that.

Arriving in Seoul we were utterly confused and stressed out about the arrival cards and bagage info. We, as the anxious people we are, thought that we'd have to pay a 10 000 000 WON bill for bringing 10 ml above the limit for perfume, lol. But it all turned out well, we had a good change before heading towards the express train only to be set into a situation with heavy bagage in the amazing metro system of Seoul. As a person from Stockholm I'm used to messy metro systems, but this was so confusing since it didn't really tell you that clearly what destination the train was heading towards to and what line you were on. But with lots of help of amazing ahjushis (surprisingly!! like really!) we managed to get to our station. ONLY TO BE FACED WITH THE FACT THAT WE CANT FINT THE DORMITORY AND THAT WE ARE "DELAYED" BY 7 HOURS SO WE WERENT EVEN SURE OF US BEING ABLE TO CHECK IN. But yet again, with the help of amazing people asking us if we need help, we managed to get to the dormitory all safe and sound. Kinda hungry, but safe.

We had this amazingly awkward food experience with two future class mates which I'll tell you about in a next blog post --



Everyday Basis, Photography

Hello everyone! Man has it been long... I've been up with everything lately, or at least so it feels like. My head is filled with stressful lists and things to make sure that are clear before September 19th (will write about that in Sept) and I'm so afraid that I will forget about something or that I'm missunderstanding payment thingies - things that are really important that they're being done correctly or else this will all end in failure.. But! I've been working a lot lately, trying to take my life day by day and focus on what I'm up to right now and not in a month. I find things easier that way. And lists, oh man am I making lots of lists! Everything to keep me structured!

But, what's up besides work and a busy mind? Nothing, really. My daily life structures around these things. I'm trying to give myself a break by hanging out with my friend or meeting up with my family. I've been trying to appreciate my home town a lot more, so I've been there for a couple of days just sigh seeing cause I'm a home town tourist, lol. I also went to a top roof bar with the most enchanting and breathtaking view over my beloved city. Sitting there with your best friend, a cosy blanket, a nice drink in your hand whilst watching the sun set - that's a luxury I wish upon everyone.

Ah well, I'll just be adding some photos here of what's been happening. There're not lots of them but hey, it's something right?

Hope everyone's doing fine. Remember to stay healthy, eat well and get lots of sleep! Huggies



Hello everybody! How are you holding up? I'm pretty occupied with school right now, so my days are pretty dull.
I've decided on doing a sugar detox now. I need to stop eating so much sugar. It's not necessary and it sure is an addiction to me. I want to live a life without being drawn to sweets so let's do this!
Watching some 13 Reasons Why before I go to sleep, trying to ignore my gnarling stomach, haha. Waaaay to hungry. Had my lunch a little bit too early so my stomach is screaming for food. Ah well, early breakfast instead I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

Good night!

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Hello guys! Huge break cause of school and once again I'll try to be more active 🙃
Today has been spent at town with my bestie. We've been looking at timberlands shoes and man imma buy me a pair after summer!
After that we went to the liquor store to buy some wine and cider, that'll be spent drinking outdoors tonight with some lit candles and chatting. Really looking forward to it.
We're on our way home now, and god knows what will happen, but that's one of the biggest surprises of life, ye?

I'll update some later! Hope you're enjoying your Saturday~

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​Good morning everyone! Or evening, or night, depending on your whereabouts. 

It's past 8 in the morning here and I'm up all ready for the day. Will be doing some studying today at the library, but before that I will meet up with a friend of mine to cook some lunch together. And eat it of course. Besides from that I have no more plans. I think that I might have time to study some Korean tonight which is nice. Haven't had the energy or time to do so for quite some time now. I strongly doubt that I will be able to read it on a daily basis before summers break, because man these courses are intense... *Sad face* 

Now I will continue finishing my tea and after that start off with my studying. 

Wishing everyone a nice day!



Hey everybody, hope you're all doing good. I want to say that I do, but that would be an straight up honest lie.

For the last few weeks I haven't felt physically well, which I've been telling you about in my previous blog post. And for the last week I got a cold which made me deadly tired. I still have no energy. My head is pounding for the most of the day. My energy level's on ground level. My body image is terrible and I've been struggling with my binge and purge. I'm stressed out about everything and today, every little trigger has been devastating to me. Although I feel like I should be happy today, I feel miserable.

It all started with my work for exam. I'm exhausted and confused about my education right now. Motivation is down low - I'm not entirely certain if I want to become a nurse anymore. I think I want to settle down with a second level nurse/nurse aid since they have the most contact with the patients. In Sweden, our profession is so busy that we usually don't have time to sit down and talk to our patients, which nurse aids do. So, because of the lack of motivation my tiredness is starting to take over. I don't want to continue, but I know that I have to.

After todays class, I went to the library to get some studying done. I opened up an example exam for me to see what it's all about since our subject right now is the total opposite of objective - it's really hard to say "read about this and train these words and you'll pass!". So just by opening it, I almost tore apart on the inside. I felt like crying. And then another thing hit me hard right in the face, and that was some changes in our schedule. It wasn't much, but I had told my parents that I could be a doggy sitter for their three dogs as they were going abroad for a week, and now I can't do that. I felt so guilty and stressed out and because of that I felt as if they were guilt tripping me. So I lost it. And people were trying to cheer me up, I know that, but they did it in the wrong way. I hate it when I'm at my worst and people are telling me "what to do". No, don't tell me what to do. Listen to my concern, tell me that you understand it and just listen. And once I've calmed down, then you're welcome to come with suggestions. But I can't cope with it when I'm in this much physical pain and all stressed out. It makes my head feel like exploding. And all of this at the same time; trying to focus on a difficult school task, realising that you're life is about to change rather vast in five months and that there's shit tons of things to do before that, parents worrying, me feeling guilty, me trying to get all the pieces together as I am trying to keep my tears from pouring out. It didn't work. So there I was, at the library, crying my eyes out. So I did what I usually do when I feel like this, feeling my anxiety and stress levels hit the roof - I listen to Park Kyung. And that really helped. You have no idea how many times that guy has saved me from so many tears and heartaches. I truly owe him.

So, now I'm at home. I couldn't deal with the stress. I talked to my class mate about it and she was understanding. So now I'm at home waiting for my dinner to be ready. I'm keeping it simple today - some oven roasted potatoes and zuccini along with some guacamole. I might take some ice cream and watch the new season of Attack On Titan aswell, cause man I'm so tired, down. I won't be able to focus on school tonight. I just need to rest my mind and think of something else. And eat ice cream, cause it's life.

Wow, that was a long post but I really needed to type this down, I feel so tired, exhausted, fatigue. Words can't even explain it right now. It feels as if I'm so tired that my head is seriously exploding and so tired that my eyes are falling out. Will probably be an early night tonight aswell..

Please stay safe everyone... xxx



Hello guys

Sorry for being so inactive right now, but I've been feeling dead tired and really sick lately. I have been debating with myself for quite some time now if I should do this and came to my senses that - Yes, I will do this.

I want to live for the revolution, fight to enlighten the area of mental disorders and destroy the stigma that comes along with it. It's pretty much my biggest motivation to why I decided to become a nurse; to help people not only with their physical disorders but also with their mental disorders. Through out my education, I've come to notice that your mind, body and soul goes along well with each other to later on be able to heal your body. It's rather complicated, but I'll to explain it as simple as possible:

A lot of times, when you're enduring physical pain from example an injury or disease, your mental health takes a toll. And you need a strong mind with motivation to be able to pursue a quick and successful recovery. As a nurse, we make sure to not only look after your body, but also to help you out with those mental factors, help you if you feel down, catch up on every little clue when it comes to the care and nursing for you. Just to help your pursue the feeling of health and happiness.

It's rather difficult though, when it comes to mental disorders. There's a huge stigma around it. People who suffer from it have, probably one too many times, heard the words "just be happy" or "you're just doing this for attention". Trust me, after hearing those words during a long period of time, you could even start believing in them yourself which will make it even harder to look for help, cause - "i only feel this way cause I want attention".

So for me. it's really important to highlight psychiatric disorders, let people know that it's okay to have them, that they're not alone and that there's nothing wrong with you. It's an illness that you usually can't help but having. And that you're worth every single chance and opportunity of help that exist. Cause you're worth a lot. You're a person. A person who, just like anyone else, has a life, dreams and deserves all the chances he or she can get in order to pursue health. Cause everyone deserves to be happy.

I myself have lived with mental disorders for a long time. My parents told me once at a psychiatrist meeting, that they've noticed signs of depression since I was 7 years old. When I was 10, I started thinking about suicide. At the age of 11, I started to self harm. At the age of 17, I dared to ask for help. And that was the best thing that I've ever done. I was so afraid and I didn't believe that I deserved the help since I didn't find my life worthy of living. But I finally opened up to my parents and told them how bad my mental state actually was. I think that they've had an idea for quite some time since I've been having some meetings in school because I felt "sad", but this is where I really asked for help and where my life finally took a turn for the better.

My mother followed me to a child psychiatrist where I went weekly for appointments. I received anti depressive medication and pills that'd help me for my sleep issues. They even started off an ADHD investigation. Things finally looked good. But once I turned 18 they "abandoned" me I felt really betrayed by the system (I have had some bad experiences with psychiatrists in my earlier days and wasn't too keen to see this one, and finally when I started to change my mind about this, it all took a turn and my trust went down to zero again). I quit taking my medication and I felt terrible for a while. I had gained so much weight, around +20 kg since one of my coping mechanisms was to over eat. I thought that I'd start to take care of this since I felt so bad about my self, my self confidence was below zero.. I started eating less, exercising more. I lost some weight. I continued and lost some more. After getting stuck at 75 kg, I started to restrict badly. I lost maybe 3 more kg and once again, I was stuck. I was dead afraid of gaining back all my weight at this point, since it was so difficult to lose the weight that I had lost.

And so I moved away from home. I was free, no one was watching what I was eating, what I was doing. My eating habits became so bad that I'd start to starve myself which itself would lead to me binge eating. One day, I couldn't take it anymore and started purging. This became an evil circle that could not be stopped, and yes I still struggle with this on this very day. All I can think of is my weight. My self confidence when it comes to my body is so low. I'm living with anxiety and an "easy" depression which causes my self confidence to drop so low that I've started to be overly conscious of my body. I weigh myself twice every day. I'm anxious of gaining weight. And all this anxiety leads to me binge eating. You see my problem here?

For such a long time, I've been embarrassed to speak about this in public. I usually only tell people this that I trust or that I know. Now, a bunch of random people will be able to read this and judge me. It makes my anxiety go through the roof.

But you know what? Why should I be anxious about it? If I think about what I wrote at the top of this text, there's nothing one should be ashamed of. If I want to be able to fight the stigma, fight for the emotional revolution, then why shouldn't I do this?

So hello. I'm a nurse student at age 21 who suffers from depression, anxiety and bulimia. And that's okay. I'm not less worthy than anyone. I'm just as important, cause every life is of equal value. I want to fight the stigma. I want people to understand that it's okay to talk about this, to look for help, to help them accept that - this is you. That your diagnosis is not going to be your identity. I may present myself in this text as someone who suffers from mental disorders, but I'm not going to let that define me.

I'm studying to become a nurse, to be able to help people with their health and make them realize that your mental health is just as important as your physical health and that you deserve to pursue it, no matter who you are, your gender, where you come from or what religion you have. We're all humans with equal worth.

Let's spread the love.

So... I've decided to let this be more of a diary. I will talk about my feelings and what's going on in my head. To work my thoughts into words, to look at them and reflect before I do something stupid. I'm in recovery and will see if this is going to be a good tool for me.