If my heart controlled my mind, the confusion of my body would be more so than already. As I find my soul in the soil of dead plants, my body feels nothing, but as I find my soul in the soil of energy and love, my soul gives my body the message of hope. Now as I put my heart to work, my mind wants to pull away. The way of confusion sneaks up on us like no other. I do not want my mind to get in the way of my heart. As we may never know the feeling of our mind and hearts working together, my body doesn't want to be confused. The seeds of the ones we love must be planted in moist, well watered soil, as our rays of sun must come out each day. To grow, to love, to mature, to show us the light. If planted wrong or forced to grow too fast, the plant will die, just like the feeling of love towards our loved ones. Don't force something that does not need to be forced. Be calm, love easy, and trust, that everything happens for a reason.

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To a new year, new relationships, new bonds, new happiness to find and new love to share. A way to let the spark ignite and to see what the world has in store for us. I’m excited to share the new memories, new friendships, and new found adventures there are to come this year. I can’t wait and I hope you can’t either. Happy New Year everyone !!!

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Our world surrounds us with resources such as food, love, and water. The water that keeps us hydrated, the food that keeps us energized, and the love we need to lean on. As it all comes down to it we must love the life we live, in order to live the life we love. I love many things, as the world loves you. From the upsides of the life to the downsides, we must find the in between. The place in which we feel safe. The place in which our bodies feel warm, with the people we are surrounded by, as well as the hearts we turn to in need of a shoulder to lean on. We can find ourselves lost, and unable to hear the rest of the world, feeling trapped but once we hear the right heart beating our bodies will soon feel safe and sound. We feel that the sound of where we want to belong is with someone, not something. We must continue to find the perfect melody of another’s heart that makes our own hearts beat faster. The one who makes our hearts feel safe, comfortable, and open. An open hearts leads to an open mind, that leads to a loving person.

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I walked through the hallways of my mind and looked around, I saw a white light at the end with pictures one each side of the walls. The pictures are the captured moments of my life. Happiness, sadness, anger, and confusion all at once. As I look to my right, my best friend and I laughing. Looking to my left my family and I crying. Looking in front of me is a bright light. The hallway is dark and long, the light feels so far away with the hallway beginning to become foggy. The walls are coming in close, with the images falling. Breaking. Crashing down. The light is too far for my soul to reach and now all I can do is wait for the light to appear again. The fog begins to slowly drift away. The images back up on the walls. Except this time it is all different images, the images aren't even images. They are dark, blank canvases. Darkness fills the room once again, now feeling cold, as my mind feels numb. My brain trying to grasp the reflections of my fears. My soul grasping my surrounding noise. Nothing to be found, the noise is none but the sound of silence filling the air. My conscience is tired, while the walls of my mind continue to crash down and eventually rebuild, the constant darkness should be no more. My heart feels sore, but then again so does the floor. The floor of my mind, the floor of my heart, and the floor of my overall home...

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                Have you ever felt as if the world was losing oxygen in some sort of way? Did you put your oxygen mask on correctly? And have you ever felt as if your lungs couldn't fill up with air anymore? 

This world isn't going to stay still to wait for you to figure yourself and your soul out. The search of our own journeys lay in the core of our minds. The risks we take each day are given to us, not handed or asked, they are given, and it is our choice to decide whether or not to take it. The lies we tell are a choice. The hands we hold and the lips we touch are risks we are choose to take or not. By the end of the day, the world decides to give us rain or snow. The time you climbed up to the top of the tree, or swam down deeper into the pool. The time you pushed away all the people you loved, broke up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.... Are all examples of choices we have to decide to make everyday. Your everyday world doesn't revolve around the choices one makes, but as a choice that every one makes. Without decisions, choices, and given opportunities we would be living in world of emptiness. The emptiness you carry around inside your heart or the emptiness you have towards the way your body feels when the earth feels as if it is taking away every last breath of fresh air. You then find yourself and the ones you love, going to sleep forever, never to take another turn with the world. Never to take in another breath, or chase the wind with the breeze through your hair. Never to touch fresh cut grass, never to watch your future kids grow old, never to watch the sunset, and never to know the feeling of getting to know someone new or getting to hear "I love you" once again. Your body is then put in a box, carried away, and put in a hole, with your name written on the top of where you have been placed. Never to be touched, never to be seen again. Live your life to the everyday. The everyday you know you'll once remember. The everyday you are going to miss once your last breath is near. Set the examples you would like to leave behind on this earth. Leave behind your final breath, and don't forget the choices you made and the opportunities you took. Take in the air that once filled up your lungs. Put your oxygen mask on yourself, before helping others. 

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"Our creative consciousness is not limited," -Unknown.

When I was in the first grade, I remember going out to playground looking for some girls to play with. I remember the sky was a light gray, the swings were swinging, the trees swaying along with the slight breeze, and the chatter of children's voices surrounding me. The kids here weren't the typical type of kids to let anyone play, but the type you have to do this, in order to get this. I remember asking if it was okay to play with these two girls and they told me I was only allowed to play with them if I could see their imaginary castle. I walked away and sat on the green bench next to where they were playing. I sat and thought long and hard about the word "imagination." What it meant, how to spell it, and if I had one... I went up to those girls and told them I could finally see their castle. But in reality I couldn't. I felt guilty to have lied about not having an imagination. But as I went home that day, all I could think about is "how to get an imagination." I wanted friends so badly, I lied to myself and to them to understand the feeling of real friendship.

Looking back on my life, it makes me upset to think about how I used to act around people, and how people would act around me. I used to swing on the swing of life, with most of my friendships right there next to me, holding my hand and pushing me. Higher and higher the swing got, until there were no more hands to hold or people to push me. Just an empty swing with no one there for me. Not only was no one beside but no one was in the view of my future. The feeling of being alone and sad. The feeling of imagination never being there. The feeling of anger and despair, hoping one day I would get out of there... and so I did. I did eventually, and I thought wow my life is going to be pretty dandy once I just leave this part behind. We all think that when the swing of life catches back up with us, but sooner than later the swing set of life will be no more and the playground of our childhood will no longer be. The words "grow up" will be in your near future and the idea of being a kid is no such thing. Grow up and stop playing. This world is just a giant board game. The board game isn't a board game anymore.... it's just a board. The playground isn't a playground anymore, but just a ground. Open your eyes and fill your mind with the real world.... rise and shine sweetie, it's time to Wake Up.

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If the world were to end tomorrow, how would you feel, what would you regret and what would you feel you'd miss the most? The world was burning, trees are dying, flowers don't grow in my garden, the sky is dark, while the sun doesn't shine anymore. As the world begins to fill the air with dust and heat. The smell of pine trees that surround you are no more. The sun doesn't rise nor does it set. The mountains have crumbled down and the oceans have been absorbed by land. The sky is dark without light, and our hearts are sad as we don't have a place to call "home." We sit on the edge of the world beginning to believe in the end of time. No more, no more, no more. The feeling you get when waking up each day, the feeling you get when your mind smiles and your heart listens, the feeling of joy when you see children playing... is no more. This world is gone and we cannot go back. You chose to waste time and fool around. The earth was fed up with the world's brokeness and the hidden truths in the soil. There is no more and we cannot go back. What now? And what will you do?

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Remember waking up to the smell of fresh fruit, eggs, and bacon. Remember the days waking up, going outside to listen to the birds chirping and the trees swaying with the wind. I remember. But not every day was that easy. As we all wish the world would turn to our advantage, that would be nice, but the world turns on its own. No need of help from others, just the way the world is revolving. The amount of people on this planet, is too many to count, the number changes every second, and yet again that's just how the world is revolving. Change is inevitable, along with the way we continue to live our lives. From the time we were little, we were told to look both ways before crossing the street, don't talk to strangers, and pay attention to our surroundings. This all changed so quickly, as time progressed. We soon begin to realize that was for protection, but at the same time it wasn't. The rules of our childhood have vanished, and that's just how we change. We are growing weeds in a field full of sunflowers, patiently waiting to blossom, waiting to see the world for what is truly is. The weeds are the forgotten ones, the ones whose rules no longer apply, we see the world for a place we wish to cover up. Hide our leaves and go back to being buried in the soil. Or being pulled from the ground and leaving the soil for once, and for all. The weeds are the ones who don't care anymore, who talk to individuals we may not necessarily know, or consider to be the same as us. We walk through the fields of life without a sense of why or where we may be going, all we know is one day this field will be gone, our lives will be gone, and so will this planet. And that's just how life is. We're all just weeds in a field full of sunflowers...

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