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Hello everybody i have Been thinking of writing this a loooong Time. Now i feel like i have some time. IT all started the 16th february after i was at a check up at the hospital My Labour started smal smal during the whole day and in the Evening My mom Desided to Sleep over IF we needed to Go to the hospital. The Labour come and went i Did not feel IT was time really yet My Angels Mahdi and Nathalie was asleep. Around maybe 1 midnight the labours where more intence but i thought No its not time yet Cous the labours where like everything from 4-10 min inbetween. And then after a while My mom asked IF we should Go to the hospital I Said yes so she called Her man to come and be with My kids and i called the hospital i told Them im coming in soon but im not sure IF i Will make IT. They Said oh yes but take it easy take your time im just like ok. So My mom was running around and liked for My bags i needed to bring i Think and i went to the bathroom and My Water broke. My mom Said i Will run with this to the car or something and she called My sister too and i told Her dont worry we wont make IT and she tan out Anyway. I took like maybe 20 steps and thought damn the baby is coming. I was screaming Mom Mom Cous i thougt she was on Her way back but noooooooo. So i Did What i had to do i lie down on the floor took My pants off half Anyway and pushed Two Times and there was My little angel James at 2:24. He was screaming so mutch i took Towels fast that was lying after the wash and i called mom its to late he has come. Then My big sister came and she had talked to the ambulance so she gave me the Phone and helped me off with the pants fully. Ten minutes after James came the ambulance came and got us. And when we came to the hospital the lady i talked to in the Phone Said hi Iam the one u talked to on the Phone. And I Said yeah i told u i wouldnt make IT and we all laughed. People ask where i not scared? What planet are you from? Stuffs like that. But I dont know What to say except for that a person are mutch stronger Than What you Belive. Belive in yourselfs and you Will be able to acomplish so mutch. Peace and Love ❤️

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Today its friday and me and my remote controls came on the post today. ( have waited for them like forever). We have been taking a walk today and taking it easy watched a swedish movie or started to watch with the kids but i ended up all alone cous they went to their room to play. Sometimes i dont know what to do i just feel lost and alone but i tell u all i would not be able to do anything if it was not for my kids. My kids are my saving. Now im gonna watch some tv and then go to bed and read.​ Good night all people 

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A new day, a new year. The first day of this year i was working feels good to work becouse then my mind will be at work not everywhere else. I dont have any new years resolutions becouse I think that is just a load of bullshit. What you have to do still is to work towards your goals and make them happen. why in the world do u have to make a promis about something like that? Just do it. I will make this year better than 2014 thats not a promis thats a fact. More than 5 months has passed since my husband left this world and joined God, Bob Marley and all of the people that he looked up to. I wish he was still here cous even thou we fight alot about so smal things like nothing he was a big part of my life and he ws always there for me. But the devil works in the wierdest ways once it catches you and you dont understand it, it will soon be too late he will take you down. Oh and I  have not had facebook for a month now it feels really good I dont need to see all people complaigning if they dont complaign right to me and that is still happening. I got mutch more time on my hands to do more important thing Now im gonna read my book Bob Marley the untold story. Its a nice book. we wil see if i write something tomorrow Peace out my friends.... And good night and i wish you all a happy new year. 

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Today i have Been shopping. My daughter Bought a birthday present to her brother (not showing that thou :) ) i Bought some xmas stuffs, stuffs for the baby and food :)
















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Oh these nights how i hate them cant stop thinking. Im just thinking how i could prevent this from happening and i cant stop thinking about him. Every night it is like this i Know people tell me to stop thinking. Its not My fault bla bla bla. But its not that Easy to just stop thinking when the thoughts just pops up in your head and you close your eyes and you see his face so clear. Its not Easy foreal. Anyway im starting My schedual at work on monday got a wery early morning for me and the kids so i hope that it Will help me Change My thinking. I dont even wish this to My worse enemy. Peace and one love god bless you all ❤️


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Several days now i have Been like ohhhhhh i have to tell My husband and i take up My Phone then i realise i cant he is not here anymore. And the tears just pouring. And i remember the 25th july when My lovely sister called me and Told me he was gone My Brain just shut down the tears where burning i could not talk i could not Belive it But still i Did cous she would never joke about something like that. That was the day My life really crashed and she called me the same day as it happend that showed me that she cares about us too and I love her so Mutch and will always stay in your life. Its Really hard and today i have Been ill all day. So now I'm lying down in the sofa watching a movie with the kids. One love ❤️




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Today i have checked thru some pictures ohhhh how i miss My husband. The tears could not stop pouring down. Now im trying to sleep and as it have Been for a while now its hard to sleep so i made a list of what i should do tomorrow. The kids wanna share Room Again so its the Third time im fixing that. And yesterday i applied for school Both distanse and in Malmö i hope i Will get in. Now i think im gonna read alittle in My Book about Bob Marley its a Nice Book so far. And i want u all to forget & forgive. love & laugh. smile & live. for life is short and we r never promised tomorrow. Becouse thats Really true and in the end if u dont u Will just be mad at your self and hate yourself. Keep the devil away and Always stay togheter ❤️ Til death and beyond




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Today its 3 Months ago since my husband and my daughters father passed away. It's really hard we miss him so Mutch. Whatever has happen between us before is in the past and I don't care about that anymore I just miss you and love you I have always loved you and I always will. I will always be there for your sister and her family, your brother and his family and your mom and your dad. They have been so lovely towards me I understand some people might think that everything is my fault becouse I left you. But I was tired so tired you know that and I know that. I know the devil has to do with this and u changed a lot I just wished I got one more chance I would have stayed and fight for us. But it's to late now I have to fight for the family I have to be strong for Nathalie you love her so Mutch I will be strong for Mahdi too that you have been like a father to since he was 2,5 years he looked up to you so Mutch. I will do my best to make them good in school and successful in life. We will keep on lighting candles for you every evening and you will always have nice flowers next to your picture. We love you Danny always and forever




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It has been a wery long time since i wrote here. Life has been bad and hard but im trying to get back up on my feet again. The kids are sleeping and my dog is walking around checking on them. My fight will continue forever. In the evenings i have really hard to fall asleep so if anybody got any tips on how to fall asleep easy please give it to me. I can see stuffs so clearly now like nobody is able to play me again i have learned my lesson and nobody will succed. Im better of alone. And im super happy to have my sister Dorcas back in my life again the way i missed her ohhhhh its not easy. And oh i have to say somthing that really pisses me off is that if u have a job but one month or two you get problems with your economy and havent been able to work its freaking hard to get help, but if you are home all the time u dont do anything to get a job u get everything you want its like stupid foreal. Now im gonna keep watching the tv and hang some wash up so peace out maybe later or tomorrow. One love


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Today i got a new tattoo whoopwhoop the day before My dads birthday it cant get better :) i bought some Nice candles too and candies :P not alot thou :) one love



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