What exactly is the wait, you might ask?
Awhile back, just like you, "Wait" was simply the act of delaying an action until a particular time. But soon enough, it became more than just this straightforward definition, if I must say.
As soon as I had gotten my period, my parents and everyone around me had implanted the fear of getting pregnant into my brain and I became even more inclined to the idea of waiting before marriage. I was about twelve at the time and it was still perfectly normal for me to not want that in my future. As I got older and branched out, connected with diverse people, questions such as "Are you a virgin?" would always seem to surface in the conversations. And all the times, they were shocked at my answer. There was always a division with my friends. One or two would always without fail groan and say that it is the worst thing a lady can do; the others, however were neutral they usually would say to do what feels right and do it when I feel comfortable. Thinking back at those conversations, I thank both of those groups of people because they played a major role in the decision that I had made.
While having a heated conversation with a friend of mine, I began to wonder about the process, this long process of waiting. And it all began to sound horrendous to me because who will want to wait that long for someone and who was going to even date me if I told them right off the bat " By the way I'm a virgin and I plan to stay a virgin until the night of our wedding". I would probably get laugh at and ignored. This long process of waiting is not the easiest, and sometimes in moments of doubt which are occurring more often now, I can't help but feel as though all this is a joke and I will regret deciding this. Recently, I stumbled upon a YouTube video of Shameless Maya and she talked about being celibate and she opened up about the challenges of being celibate. And for the most part, I resonated with her and for the first time, I had found somebody who had made the same decision and is going through it at the same time as I am. The process of waiting is filled with doubts, what if's, worries, moments where the flesh is calling my name and moments of weakness.
But in the midst of all this, faith is what keeps me afloat; reading the bible about the topic and praying for strength and control has been an absolute help lately. What even made you come to this decision? I have an answer for that
Creating boundaries is an ultimate goal for me in anything. I don't believe in partaking in an activity that I only want to partake with my husband. I feel that by refraining from doing so our bond would be stronger and we wouldn't have to rely on our physical needs as much to create intimacy between us. I am doing it for the pure and great fact that I wanted to reserve this part of myself for a man that I know will see more of me. To me, a husband is not only your soulmate but it's the person that God intended for you to take this journey with.
And one might say, it is not that serious. And I would not direct anyone or make them change their minds for I know clear and well that everyone views virginity differently. A girl might choose to wait and say that it sucked and she hated it. Another might have lost their virginity to their first love and they are still together so on and so forth. All to say that everyone's life is different and people go about their life the way that they feel is best.
In conclusion, this post is certainly not here to change anyone's minds or make anyone wait until the night of their honeymoon. However, this post is simply here to remind everyone that if they feel comfortable losing it tomorrow and they have no doubt nor fear clouding their minds, go for it. If it isn't the case, wait until you're ready and you're completely comfortable doing so. I should also add that this decision of mine is not fixed and is prone to change and that is fine.