Kodaline know how to write songs that make you ball your eyes out and on top of that make music videos that triple the sadness in the songs. Their songs can be interpreted in many different way just like everything else but I feel like they alway find an unexpected and unique way to connect the lyric to a completely different scenario than what I was picturing in my head. I just watched the music video(s) for 'All I Want' and I love them! Kodaline make me feel something, make me reflect upon society and in this case in terms of being prejudice towards people based on their appearance and excluding and ignoring someone because they look different. This is a current issue and it has been for centuries but why? Someones appearance nor sexuality, religion, cultural background, nationality and so forth determines whether that person is trustworthy, kind, beautiful, a loving person etc. their personality does! And yes beauty is something beyond the physical. There is beauty in everything if you just open your heart.
I AM SCREAMING IN COLOURS BUT NO ONE SEEMES TO NOTICE EVEN THOUGH EVERYTHING ELSE IS BLACK AND WHITE I'M NOT TRANSPARENT BUT FEEL INVINCIBLE ...
I blog and some of my content is very personal but I never want this to be about me. It might sound weird that I post photos of myself and write about my life without wanting it to be about me. I post the photos because I like them as a piece of art not necessarily because I find myself beautiful or because I want the post an image of myself for selfpromotion. Calling my own photos of myself art might sound like I think too highly of myself but honestly I don't. My video about my battle with anorexia was not supposed to be about me as a person and definitely not because I wanted people's admiration or them to write nice words about me. It was obviously nice that people showed their support but that was not the purpose. I have always wanted to post videos on Youtube - and I have posted a few - but I feel like people are very judgmental when it comes to people openly sharing and being proud of a product they have made. I am going to force myself to post more videos both of me talking about what ever I feel like and also more creative videos because I love the process of creating something creative. I want people to reflect upon the society that we live in and they way we perceive e.g. beauty stansards. If me "daring" to post photos of my imperfections and talking about my struggles is of any help for someone or even if some of the things that I write - or what I am planning to write about - provokes someone than I am more than happy to share parts of my life. I crave a debate! Question every-fucking-aspect of your life and never explain why something is a certain way with 'that's just how it is'! If you think me blogging and posting photos of myself is because due to the fact that I am - in your opinion - self-obsessed and an attention seeking girl then that says more about you than it does about me.
With all that being said, here are some photos I took the other day. I personally love using black/white effect for more serious looking portraits since it adds some extra intensity with the more defined contrasts
on a day like today where the sun cannot get its light to shine through the gray clouds in the sky
will you comfort me when the thunder is raging outside
I think of you in dark times when I'm loosing a part of myself
why do I think that you can pick me up
I do not need you
I am not dependent on our presence
but you make the present struggles more bearable
why am a in free fall for someone who is on the run
how come that two fucked up souls make a perfect pair
one half to the other
want to pretend that I do not care
but you are haunting me
if you decide to flee for good can we run together
never experienced anything like this
stupid is next to I am into you
so let's pretend we never met
want you but I dont want to
become just another one
never want to worry about 27
about what you would do
when in dark times
I am here for you
but are you here too
distant is too far of a distance
what would you do if I came knocking on your door
in the middle of the night
ran away but ran to you
I haven't worn a bra for about 3 months and I have never felt more liberated in my life! Only on very rare occasions, so max 3 times in those 3 months, have I worn a bralette. I instantly felt weird and started to regret wearing it after I left my house. I do not find bras comfortable nor do I care about underwear, except it has to be comfortable! I no longer have marks from bra straps, and I no longer look forward to getting home and taking my bra off because I simply don't wear one. I have always been very conscious about my body, I mean I had anorexia for 3 years and the thoughts of not feeling like I live up to what ever sick trend is popular or what ever the unobtainable bodyideal is still haunt me at times, but not wearing a bra has really pushed me into accepting my body as it is! I was so insecure in the beginning but I came to a point where I simply did not care. I might feel insecure some days but then I joke about that certain insecurity and move on with my life. To me it helps to say my insecurity out loud and be able to realize how unimportant it is and what a waste of time it would be to worry.
Before I went braless, I watched some YouTube videos about going brasless, and especially advise for girls with larger boobs. I feel like society thinks that it is more acceptable to not wear a bra when you have 'fairly small' boobs then when you are cup size C+. Seriously why?? Boobs are basically just a lump of fat and they are being overly sexualized for no reason, in my opinion. Boobs are just boobs, okay? Boobs giggle more when they are free, of course, but it is completely naturel! Do what ever you please with your boobs, if you feel comfortable and people feel offended then that's their own problem. You do you!
I think that boobs are very fascinating and beautiful. They are individual, just like their owner. If people want implants or another plastic surgery that's up to them, as long as they are happy and they are doing it for themselves then I don't have anything against it. Personally, when I was younger and heard about boob reducing, it appealed to me. I have always had large boobs, and did not feel like the fit my body until about some months ago. Now I have accepted their size and I don't want to change anything about them. I will probably continue not wearing bras on a daily basis but if there is a cute bra(lette) there is a (tiny) possibility that I will wear it on rare occasions
Good night xx
DISCLAIMER!!! this is my brutally honest and probably politically incorrect, in some way or another, opinion
I usually never bother to read comments on other people's Instagram accounts but I recently watched a Danish YouTuber's video about the negativity she receives on her different social platforms. I started to scroll through her comment section on her pictures to see what the comments said. I must be honest and say that I am not only chocked, I am also very pissed! First of all it was only girls from 10ish to 16/17 that commented negative comments on her pictures, they were making fun of her by commenting shit like 'haha dying', 'cringe', tagging their friends (once again only girls!!) followed by the crying-laughing emoji. I am furious not only because this is unacceptable as fuck, but especially because it is girls commenting this shit! From what I have experienced it is girls who bully other girls and it is especially based on physical appearance in one way or another. Aren't these girls who are commenting aware of the fact that it also makes the whole issue we have within society about body-, fat-, skinny-, whatever shaming way worse, also for themselves? Don't they have some sense decency and moral? What happened to girls standing up for each other and praising other girls? Don't they think it is enough that women are already valued less than a man? Since when did it become necessary to pitch girls against each other and hate on one another? Girls are so fucking unbelievably judgemental when it comes to other girls, realize that we a not in a fucking competition people! Open your mouth if only what you are about to say is more beautiful than silence!
So a little shoutout to people commenting straight up rude and shitty comments on other people's what ever: delete your accounts, you are clearly not mature/old enough to have FaceBook, Instagram, Twitter etc. Go play with some dolls or go outside and get some fresh air to your brain so that you can think rationally and realize that what you are doing is called bullying
Those were some of the words people, especially friends and family, used to describe me after opening up about my life with anorexia here on social media. Of course I am extremely flattered by the fact that it is how they view me. Yet I am still left with a weird feeling in my body. Because even though it might seem courageous and very brave to share something so personal, I do not feel that way. I decided to share my story because there are so many people who suffer from eating disorders but some people within society ignore the statistics and ignore the fact that we have a problem. Changes has to made, for sure! I do not want kids growing up feeling the way I did about myself and physical appearance. I have noticed a tiny change within the fashion industry regarding the insane beauty standards but there is still a long way to go!
I do not think that me sharing my story is brave, I felt an obligation to do it in order to help others and an obligation to speak up. I shared it because it is a part of who I am, and I am just being me with all of my flaws and imperfections.
Thanks for all of the positive response, it has been overwhelming! From the bottom of my heart, thanks for taking the time to caring enough about the issue to read my post and watch my video!
I never thought that this day would come where I will openly tell about my battle against anorexia. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 11 years old. I have through out my childhood witnessed my parents not being able to communicate as adults who have a huge responsibility, raising me. I felt like I was in the middle of their battlefield, which it from time to time felt like it was, and that I had to the responsibility of an adult on my own shoulders. I constantly felt a need to give other people the impression that I was perfectly fine and that everything okay. I held my guard up for so long until 2010. I could not take it anymore, and anorexia became my form of control. I did not even know what anorexia was at that time, I was only 10-11 years old and no kid should worry about their weight/ physical appearance unless it is harming them. I was diagnosed in the summer vacation of 2011 right after I got home from Italy ( where the photos below are from). I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had weekly appointments with my psychologist for three years, but was also in a group for other anorexics. I remember when the others in the group shared their thought upon themselves and the disorder that they were insane, without acknowledging that I was just like them. I denied that I was ill. When I looked in the mirror I could not see the 32kg girl with bones sticking out everywhere, I saw a chubby girl whom I thought needed to loose weight. I was not myself which is super important to point out. The girl I was back then is far from who I really am. Anorexia, like any other self harming disorder, is a mental illness. I imagine anorexia as a ghost taking over my body and controlling every single thought and action. It is a black hole but it felt like I never hit the bottom and that the light was gone. I was my own worst enemy.
The years passed and I was declared healthy in 2013. The thing with anorexia is that it will always be a part of me. It is constantly in the back of my mind. I have learned to control and suppress the thoughts so that I can live a healthy life and start to love my body. Loving and accepting my body is something I am constantly working on. I am insecure as hell when it comes to my physical appearance. I alway tell my friends to love and make peace with their insecurities, I should really listen to my own advice.
The video below is in Danish since I am planning on having talks on schools and etc. in order to spread awareness and make it more acceptable to talk openly about eating disorders and tabus in general. I therefore though it would be more appropriate to make the video in Danish since I can refer to it in the talks. I am planning on making a video in English at some point. Feel free to ask questions if you have any, both in the comment section and also my mail, firstname.lastname@example.org
Music is a huge part of my life and I especially love acoustic versions of songs. I feel like they are more raw and authentic in a way, and that there is a more direct connection between the listener and the artist. The songs/covers above are songs I am currently listening to on repeat and I am loving them. They are all about love which is quite interesting if you make a psycho analysis of my feeling based on that fact. I know that the songs I listen to reflect my current feelings, so take a wild guess about how my love life is going haha
When I was younger my dad jokingly said that he thought I had ADHD. I was a very energetic kid, I literally tried to climb the walls! I find it really difficult to focus on things, I get easily bored and I am constantly thinking about a thousand different things. As a kid I did not think about it, and I haven't for a while until a guy from my class asked me if I have ADHD. First I was a bit offended since there is a stigma attached to ADHD, but then we talked a bit about it and I took an online test where it suggested that I talked to my doctor - I know that I should not trust everything on the internet, but as the people who made the test also stated: it was just guiding. I got an appointment at the doctor's and we talked back and forth about how I feel about different things, such as school. I have struggled with concentrating in class my whole life, but I feel like it has become worse this school year. I have become very demotivated with everything regarding school and that resulted in me almost dropping out, the only reason I didn't was because my dad wanted me to present a plan for what I would do in stead, but since I did/ do not have one I stayed in school. Deep down I am glad I did, but I must admit, I struggle! The worst part about it is that I know that I am smart and that I can do it, but just waking up seems like an impossible task.
The other night when I couldn't fall asleep - I also have trouble falling asleep since my mind is spinning non-stop - I started crying and I did not know why exactly. I have been feeling low-spirited lately but something I cannot describe just hit me. I cried for some time and was left with even more sadness and more confused than before.
I did not want to talk to the doctor because I want a diagnosis but because I want some answers. It would make sense and tie some loose ends together, which would be a relief. For now I will wait for the doctor to send me a mail in which he will tell me what I can do now and whether I will be sent to a psychiatrist.
THE BLOG I can feel that it has been a bit therapeutic to have started a blog again. My intention with starting the blog has always been to have a platform where I could write about things I have on my mind and feel passionate about. Mental disorders is one of them - I will definitely talk more about that later! I feel like the blog a bit of a look inside my brain, just less chaotic because I process the thinks I write down. I really enjoy it. It is my little universe. my happy place with space for sadness
My dream apartment is a penthouse in two or more floors, high ceiling with wide windows, an open kitchen with a lot of space for experimenting with different sorts of food, white wooden floor in some rooms and marble floor in others, space for creativity and a great view of the city
The furniture should be a mixture of new and modern pieces, and vintage. I want art hanging on the walls and a lot of great Danish design
I am a dreamer and I will keep dreaming about long nights in the city with a glass of red wine in my hand and the light flashing
When did others opinions start to matter more than your own?
Why do you care about what they say about you?
Who are you and who do you want to become?
Are you happy with yourself?
WHEN DID OTHER'S OPINIONS START TO MATTER MORE THAN YOUR OWN? With social media being a huge part of our lives today, and especially teenagers/young kids', we are constantly trying to create a certain image. Also before Instagram, people did not want to be considered the 'outsiders' or whatever. We like being liked. Of course some people do not give a flying crap about what other people think about them, but in general most people want acceptance from their surroundings. Other people's opinions can then seem more important if we are not being careful. If we think more about what other people say than how we personally feel, it is easy to get lost. Always listen to your heart and never do anything which is against your beliefs. If you aren't being honest to yourself then you will probably end up way more confused than necessary. It is not easy to 'figure out who you are' in the first place but if you start suppressing your true feelings and what you truly believe, oh believe me, that is going to make it a whole lot harder
WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU? I believe we, humans, care about what other people think because it is easier to change your 'mask' than to work with your deepest and most raw feelings. Also because, as I wrote before, we like being liked. A lot of us believe that it is easier to be at the top of society's social hierarchy but the truth is that everyone struggle every once in a while. Some more than others and with different issues. I have for a long time said that I don't care about what other people think about me, but deep down I will always care. A friend of mine told me that when he first met me, he thought I was a bit bitchy but then after getting to know me he thinks I am a nice person. The funny part is that we are actually quite good friends today. When he told me this, I did not know how to react because on one hand he gave me a compliment... But he also implied that he thinks I have a bitchy facade. I am very impulsive, both with what I say and what I do, so I sometimes say things before I think it through. I am also very straight forward and (brutally) honest - not necessarily disadvantages - and that might seem standoffish, bitchy or whatever to some people. When he pointed that out, how that made me think about myself meant more to me than the fact that he thought that. And I think that is quite important! It upset me because I want to show people who I really am, which is an emotional, straight forward, energetic, loving, sentimental, (mostly) confident and strong girl, but I also have a temper, a very expressive side of me, I complain about a lot of things and so forth. The more 'negative aspects' of my personality is something I am working on in order to become a happier person, mostly for my own sake but of course also for my surroundings (especially for my mom, sorry mom I love ya)
WHO ARE YOU AND WHO DO YOU WANT TO BECOME? I am at the moment low-spirited, not depressed but more than sad, for no obvious reason. I have my ups and downs like everybody else. This time, I believe it is a mixture of being conflicted about school (what I want to become and do after IB, I will hopefully graduate in 2018, but we already have to think about the future now), family stuff and just in general trying to figure out what I am doing with my life. It sounds semi depressing when I tell people how I feel, but I just have to pick myself up and move on. I want to become the person I know I am. The happy girl who loves her friends and family, who loves being creative, who is motivated to do stuff, who is giving nothing less than a hundred and ten percent. I want to wake up satisfied every morning and be grateful for all the things I have and the people in my life. I want to be my true self!
ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF? Not completely, but I am working on getting there. It takes time and it is going to be difficult, no doubt, but I will do it for me! I want to be the best possible version of me!
I have always love working with a camera. Both in front of and behind. YesterdayI made this video. Some of the content is quite random but life is random and I want to show my life as it is. Not a polished version of it. I am planning to make more videos in the future and more often and hopefully I can become better at editing, shooting and also get in front of the camera. I have a few projects in mind. So stay tuned for that.
The song in the video is 'Kendall' by DYSN which is one of my current favorites. I love the groovy vibe and the person who is singing in the chorus' voice, not sure whether it is a female or male singer, but I also think that it gives the song something extra
These pictures were taken in my bathtub
My hair is greasy
My skin has imperfections
The images are not photoshopped
It is just me taking photos
I am HUMAN
It is RAW
And I am IMPERFECT
The items above are some I would love to have in my wardrobe, but lets be honest designer clothes is really expensive & I am poor student who can only dream of Stella McCartney, Burberry, Chloé & Gucci. But hey, motivation to work harder!
NOTE! I would like to apologize for my poor punctuation. So, sorry:)
I have always been an honest person, probably because I tend to speak before I think about what I am going to say. I speak from my heart so to say. The things I say may therefore sound way more harsh than intended & people might get hurt. That is of course not in my intention.
I would personally rather have someone being completely straight up with me & honest, than people tip-toeing around certain things the want to be vocal about but are holding back because I might get hurt. I am not going to deny that the truth might hurt sometimes, but what hurts even more is finding out that people have been saying one thing & feeling something else. Honestly cut the crap & speak your mind! We should never be afraid to speak our mind - but of course remember that you get what you give & you should never be disrespectful. Honesty is not meant to hurt people but make people more self aware in order to grow.
Some say that relationships should be based on trust, I agree with that to some extend, but what about honesty? We cannot trust one another if we are not being honest. Honest to the other person & ourself. Honest answers leave less question marks & less question marks equals more trust. So honestly, where would we be without honesty? If politicians were more open & honest about their agendas, would those who do not have faith in the system have more trust in it? I would personally be more interested in politics if politicians were more honest & spoke the truth. Politicians do know how to sugarcoat the truth, but who is that going to benefit? I would love to have a government where 'a spade is a spade' because that is how it is in real life. It sometimes feels like politicians never leave Christiansborg - the parliamentary building in Denmark - & they make decisions based on what information they receive through different media platforms. How can we elect politicians to run our country & make pretty important decisions, if we are unsure whether they are speaking the truth or not. I may not know a lot about politics, but I do know that there are three sides of a story & only one of them is the truth. Politicians are therefore either speaking the complete truth, adding a little twist in order to benefit themselves & just straight up lying.
Hi there - I thought it would be a great idea to answer some random questions to get started
HAVE I BLOGGED BEFORE? Yes I actually have, I had a blog when I was 12 but no idea of what I was doing - not that I have a better understanding of what I am doing with my life now than back then
HOW OLD AM I? I am 17 years old
WHAT IS MY FAVORITE/MOST USED WORD? I do not have a favorite word, but whenever I am asked to say a random word without thinking too much about it, I always say 'Potato'
SOMETHING NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME? I try to write songs & I have attempted to since I was a little girl
DESCRIBE MY PERFECT DAY Cup of coffee or tea in the morning along with some lovely fresh berries from my neighbor's garden, followed by a long walk with a friend where we talk about everything and nothing, just in general a day with no stress & plenty of time to do whatever I want
FAVORITE COUNTRY? Uhh, that is a tough question. I love Spain and especially Barcelona, since that is where my 'Spanish family' live - they are our family friends, but we consider each other family. We also have friends in the US, so the US will always have a special place in my heart. New Zealand as well, since my Godparents live there
FAVORITE BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ? The Catcher in the Rye is one of my top 5 favorite books. Also the book I am currently reading, All the Light We Can Not See, & some of the poems from Andrew McMillan's ´Physical´
FAVORITE BRANDS? Stella McCartney, even though I do not own any of her beautiful creations, IRO - one of my ultimate favorite brands, Zadig et Voltaire - French brand once again, Designers Remix & Margit Brandt -though I needed to include some of the many great Danish brands
IF I COULD CHANGE ONE THING IN THE WORLD WHAT WOULD THAT BE? I would make sure that suffering - in terms of hunger, war, abuse, suppression, self hatred, self harm, bulling etc. - was eliminated until the end of this world. I basically want everyone to live in peace and harmony, with the same rights and possibilities in life
WHAT GETS ME HEATED? Injustice & people being ignorant
WHAT DO PEOPLE IN DENMARK TAKE FOR GRANTED? I would just like to point out that I am also guilty of this - Our rights, freedom & the fact that our ancestors fought for a better future
WHAT SHOULD PEOPLE APPRECIATE MORE? Rainy days, the coast line, our cute tiny islands & silence
WHERE DO I SEE MYSELF IN 5 YEARS? In an old house or apartment - don't know where in the world maybe New York, Barcelona, Paris, Malibu, London, Copenhagen or Byron - which I have renovated. Together with someone who loves me as much as I love that person, a couple of shelter dogs, a lot of fresh flowers, a huge closet full of very different items, having a job that I love, creativity in all aspects of my life & over all being happy