When did others opinions start to matter more than your own?
Why do you care about what they say about you?
Who are you and who do you want to become?
Are you happy with yourself?
WHEN DID OTHER'S OPINIONS START TO MATTER MORE THAN YOUR OWN? With social media being a huge part of our lives today, and especially teenagers/young kids', we are constantly trying to create a certain image. Also before Instagram, people did not want to be considered the 'outsiders' or whatever. We like being liked. Of course some people do not give a flying crap about what other people think about them, but in general most people want acceptance from their surroundings. Other people's opinions can then seem more important if we are not being careful. If we think more about what other people say than how we personally feel, it is easy to get lost. Always listen to your heart and never do anything which is against your beliefs. If you aren't being honest to yourself then you will probably end up way more confused than necessary. It is not easy to 'figure out who you are' in the first place but if you start suppressing your true feelings and what you truly believe, oh believe me, that is going to make it a whole lot harder
WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU? I believe we, humans, care about what other people think because it is easier to change your 'mask' than to work with your deepest and most raw feelings. Also because, as I wrote before, we like being liked. A lot of us believe that it is easier to be at the top of society's social hierarchy but the truth is that everyone struggle every once in a while. Some more than others and with different issues. I have for a long time said that I don't care about what other people think about me, but deep down I will always care. A friend of mine told me that when he first met me, he thought I was a bit bitchy but then after getting to know me he thinks I am a nice person. The funny part is that we are actually quite good friends today. When he told me this, I did not know how to react because on one hand he gave me a compliment... But he also implied that he thinks I have a bitchy facade. I am very impulsive, both with what I say and what I do, so I sometimes say things before I think it through. I am also very straight forward and (brutally) honest - not necessarily disadvantages - and that might seem standoffish, bitchy or whatever to some people. When he pointed that out, how that made me think about myself meant more to me than the fact that he thought that. And I think that is quite important! It upset me because I want to show people who I really am, which is an emotional, straight forward, energetic, loving, sentimental, (mostly) confident and strong girl, but I also have a temper, a very expressive side of me, I complain about a lot of things and so forth. The more 'negative aspects' of my personality is something I am working on in order to become a happier person, mostly for my own sake but of course also for my surroundings (especially for my mom, sorry mom I love ya)
WHO ARE YOU AND WHO DO YOU WANT TO BECOME? I am at the moment low-spirited, not depressed but more than sad, for no obvious reason. I have my ups and downs like everybody else. This time, I believe it is a mixture of being conflicted about school (what I want to become and do after IB, I will hopefully graduate in 2018, but we already have to think about the future now), family stuff and just in general trying to figure out what I am doing with my life. It sounds semi depressing when I tell people how I feel, but I just have to pick myself up and move on. I want to become the person I know I am. The happy girl who loves her friends and family, who loves being creative, who is motivated to do stuff, who is giving nothing less than a hundred and ten percent. I want to wake up satisfied every morning and be grateful for all the things I have and the people in my life. I want to be my true self!
ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF? Not completely, but I am working on getting there. It takes time and it is going to be difficult, no doubt, but I will do it for me! I want to be the best possible version of me!