"Have you ever gotten the question whether you are the heartbreaker or the heartbroken one?
When I got that question, the first thought was ‘of course I am the heartbroken one’, because no one have ever come close enough for me to break their heart. And I have thought that for a long time.
But then this boys, with galaxies in his eyes and flowers growing in his mind, asked me if I wanted to go out for some coffee some day, and I told him that sounded wonderful, but unfortunately I do not drink coffee. And maybe a piece of his heart broke right there and then, because we did not talk after that.
And when the boy with the big soft hands tried to comfort me when he found me on the floor of the school toilet, crying so much I barely could breathe, I pulled away, dried my tears with the back of my hand and told him it was not that bad. Before that I did not know just how open and vulnerable a face could look, and maybe his heart was just as vulnerable, because we never spoke again.
And when my best friend told me I was the only one he had ever felt like this for. That he loved me, I brushed it off like it was nothing. I told him that no one could possible love me because I am too broken for anyone to ever love me. And I honestly think I shattered his heart into tiny, tiny pieces, because we have not talked since.
So maybe I am not the heartbroken one, maybe I am the one who break hearts because I am too afraid to let people close?"