I had my last meeting the day before yesterday at Uddevalla Hospital and we all sat down, the doctor and the psychologist and we discussed my diagnoses and the medicin and therapy to help with it.
Officially I got two neuropsychiatric disabilities; Aspergers Syndrome/ASD and ADD.
And then I got something called recurrent depression as a bi-product of those two.
I wrote a post about this before, and I thought that I maybe will be able to explain how it works better now.
Now, my brother is one of those who thinks medicin and the diagnos ADHD/ADD isn't real, even tho he has it.
Now, the thing that is called "normal" in this society can also be called "Expected behavior pattern", and I think "normal" would be better off being called that, because there is no such thing as normal! Everyone is different. Everyone is mostly sub-consciously thinking off being "normal" and picks up those tiny signals to get in line.
Me? I got ASD. MY ASD blocks those signals, and all I pick up is everything that everyone else ignore. like the sound of your heartbeats, the length of a persons breath, the tick the clock make.
Now, you are going to say "But I can hear those!"
Yes. But the difference is, that after a while when you concentrate on something else, like your phone, you stop hearing those without thinking about it. I don't. I still hear them. All the time.
And believe me, it is really annoying and really distracting, and so tiering to try to tune out those sounds and and listen to someone else talk.
This youtube video shows the way my every day is:
Now, why am I explaining this?
Well, its because I'm going to explain everything easier now.
You now, when you say "PC" you think of a Windows computer right?
Well, neurotypical (normal people) people, are like windows computers.
Apps, programs and files are optimized for Windows.
The information exchanged between computers are "windows language".
The school system is Windows based.
Everything is Windows optimized.
Now, me, with my weird brain, is a MacBook.
With IOS based programs, apps and files. I have my files, optimized for IOS and my language is IOS based.
Now, put a Mac in a Windows environment and some stuff will work! But not all. I can read files but not open them. I can se that a file exist but I can't interact with it, even when other Windows PC:s are spamming me, waiting for a response from that specific file.
And that fucking sucks.
With medicin, habilitation and hard work, I can install file converters.
Unfortunately, those will be installed from a Windows point of view, with many trials and errors, while other windows PC:s will trash talk my efficiency.
So this is to you guys on the internet and IRL shouting that autism and ADHD/ADD doesn't exist or/and that medicin doesn't work because "medicin business just wants to earn money from you".
Autism/ASD, ADHD/ADD does exist.
It is not "just want some attention".
It is not fake.
It is not "is just really shy but when we go out it get a bit better".
It is not "just to practice".
And most of all, IT IS NOT CAUSED BY VACCINES! It is something you are born with!
I hope I have shed some light on this, and for people STILL arguing about this, please remove yourself from my field of sight and hearing.