I'm on a train now again and I'm on my way soon to the eye glasses store or whatever it is called,going home to le boyfriend afterwards and spend the weekend there and I have packed way better this time,I learn to pack better for each time I visit him
Today has been that type of day were you don't go in school for very long but still feels like it,I am well again and I missed a big test yesterday apparently,I thought I could post some or just one of my poems,let me know what you think about them🙊🦄
"You are my safety pin
You have a strong grip on yourself and don't have it easy to open yourself to people
You can be very "sharp" but once you open yourself up and you get past that sharpness,I am safe and you keep me in a strong grip no matter what❤️❤️"
"These chains around my heart
They will make my heart get torn out of my body
I can't let it happen
These sharp tiny needles stitched in my heart
they get twisted around everytime you mention it
They will make my heart get torn out of my body"
"It feels like you are walking up the stairs to happiness and it always float above you and keeps itself behind you so you can't see it coming,then when you are feeling that you are close to real happiness,it drops down on your back and digs its claws into your shoulders and your lower back,and drags you down so many stair steps"
I puked last night and I still went to school but only for the first class,then I went home and I will get back to writing on my blog as soon as I am feeling well again,hope y'all are well and happy,Bye bye RainbowBatz🌈
I have fixed my phone and I'm so excited about it because I have the newest update and I won't have to go to an Apple Store💩
Anyway,I am trying to learn myself Bulgarian and so far,I have not come a long way,I know one "phrase" and it's лека нощ which means "good night"
Today I'm also going back to school after being free from it the past week,I'm not so excited about it but after all the classes are over I am going to meet a new friend of mine🦄
I hope you all have a great day,Bye bye RainbowBatz
I fucked up my phone a little so that's why I haven't been posting,I am going to try and fix it on my own but otherwise I have to go to a Apple Store and ask for help there,have a great day and don't fuck up your phones like me cuz it ain't no fun at all,Bye bye RainbowBatz👻👻
Good morning,today I'm a little nervous because it's Halloween and I love it but as I said,it also makes me a little nervous,I remember one specific Halloween from when I was around 7/8y/o ish and me and my best friend was trick or treating in our neighborhood and at one house we didn't get any candy so we smashed their mailbox with old eggs😂.
Something I would love to do is to dress up everyday for this whole month in the future🙊.
Soon it's Christmas and then it's new year and I can barely understand that it's been a while year soon,I still remember last new year as if it was yesterday,but if we go back to the topic Halloween I have something to tell you,this night I dreamt that me and my boyfriend was in a room were the door was open like 50% and there was this low table made of stone and on that there was two packages of some sort of chocolate candy and I was just about to eat one so I take my hand in the package and my boyfriend tells me "no don't do that,she will think you are on her side" and I who then was a little confused and also trying to turn of the volume on the TV on the wall behind me(there was a horror movie on) goes out of the room sorta but stop in the door way and I see a little girl who looks like the grudge and I am just about to throw out the package that I still had on my hand but I couldn't and she walks a little closer to me and stares at me with her fully black eyes and long black hair covering some parts of her face and I get scared and tries to smack her in the face with the package but of course it doesn't work and just as this is happening she starts getting these sharp and long thin and a little thicker teeth going down mostly to her chin and just stares at me with an even more evil look and then I wake up crying and my boyfriend starts to ask me what happened and then he also hugs me,I hope you enjoyed this and have a spooky Halloween but be careful👻👻💀💀
I have been away for a few days now,I have been at my boyfriends house mainly and I have been fighting with my mother as usual but this time it got a little worse,but the last time I stayed over at my boyfriends house she threatened to call the cops on me basically because I wasn't at home and she had said no to me going to my bf's house in the first place but she treats me like a little child but sort of expects me to act/behave like an adult but that doesn't quite work now doesn't it,anyway,I wanted to tell who ever you are that is reading this ,a little bit more about myself,when I was around 10y/o my parents told me and my brother who was then only 6y/o to sit down with them on the couch and then they said something along the lines of "your father and I have some bad news to tell you" me and my brother then said "oh no,what is it?" And they answered "your mother and I have lately felt like we are more like friends than a couple,so we are going to move apart from each other". After that we have moved 6 times with our dad and former stepfamily and 3 times with our mother and about two "moves" ago it just doesn't feel necessary to even pack your stuff up and decorate your room or get comfortable in the current house/apartment or even get to know people on your street. I had a stepfamily,my dad was married to a woman that we can call Moon,she has two children,a son and a daughter,I think if I remember correctly there is a gap at around one year or so between them,she also has a dog and two cats that later on got kittens....lots of kittens geee,anyway,dad and Moon got together and they got married and it was a little bit problematic at times but some days it worked,Moon was not the typical woman you would imagine your stepmom would be like,she had black hair,a lot of black clothes,gold fish eyes(the ones with very big eyes and fins like a light fabric flowing in the water),very strict,we had many rules and routines and chores,we had lists on what we were supposed to do in the morning,when we got back from school,before we went to bed,the chores never seemed to end and when I had finally done all the chores for the day, I went up to her and told her that,she then proceeded to go and check the litter boxes and see if the dog was calm or running around as if he hadn't gotten a long round enough,and when I walked next to her while she was doing that and asking me a ton of questions I always had the biggest clump of anxiety in my stomach,when she got mad you better be prepared because once she starts yelling at you,she won't shut up until she has told you her point and why she is right and you are wrong,I could never go a day without the anxiety,my dad and Moon recently got divorced due to reasons. I don't think I should just give out to anyone to read,my mom has had a relationship with two guys after my father(at least that's how many I know about) the first one she was in a relationship with it switched between them being together and then being friends and then together and so on until it didn't work out I think it was and then the second guy,she was with him for a few months and then just as he had moved in he moved out basically and he has a son who is younger than 10 and acts three years behind his own age.
In seventh grade there was three girls I used to hangout with but one day one of the girls decided to bully me and she insulted me in the class chat so everyone in the class could read it and it became very bad and I got even more depressed and a lot of things about me changed,I started to mainly wear black and listen to alternative music,I self harmed and I just didn't want to live anymore,my ADHD didn't make things much better,I became very anti social and didn't talk much,I was almost always afraid,I sat alone in school most of the time,I rarely ate in school,at the school I used to go to before the one I currently go to I was having pretty big problems with my weight,in fifth grade I weighed at one point around 32kg and I am pretty tall so I was a walking skeleton,Moon told me several times that if I continued eating the same amount as I did then I would have to be put in a hospital and I could risk my chances of being able to get children in the future,but today I weigh a lot more and I have a healthier body but I still need to gain a few kilograms,I can't wait to move to my own place though,I am a little unsure on how to end this post but I'm just gonna do like this,Bye bye RainbowBatz,talk to you soon,have a great day💚👻👾
The picture above is my dads cat,Gaelen,he is so cute^-^ comment what you think about this post so I know what you like and find interesting^^
Some days i go outside and take photos,mostly of the nature,but there can be some problems when you look like me and you sit in these strange ways just to get that perfect angle,people already stare at me so thats just fantastic,i am going to pick photography when i go to the gymnasium.
I am just a small girl in this strange world who is trying to find out who i am. I am intressted in:Heavy metal,goth,anime/manga,mermaids,animals I dye my hair in very vibrant colors. My parents are divorced.