It's been 2 weeks since ever thing has occurred ,I reevaluated everything . This is not up to me honestly I know that . I'm losing faith and realizing everything from her point of view . People are constantly questioning why do I want to be with her . Initially it was because I loved her and because she brought nothing but positivity in my life . After 2 weeks it's not about wanting her because I just want her in my life . She pushes me to do things that I never done before , everything was reciprocal , she exposed me to her life which I loved , she was loyal something that you can't find in most people today . I can sit her and go on & on but that won't do nothing . I just want her back in my life and that's all I want at this point . I don't care what no one says at this point .

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Lol I wish she was here to see that I cut my own hair personally I'm sick of paying someone else 20$ for something that I could do myself . I look like a shaved bird honestly but my hair will grow , so I'm not too worried.

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I'm glad I found you because I'm crashing
& tumbling at the speed of light
I lost my wings and I lost love
So how do I fight
My hands are worn out
I need to recoup
But I'm glad I found you
You take my mind of this world
You kinda restore me
Your conversation carries I'm glad you don't bore me
Everybody doesn't understand the meaning of a friend
Like I always say but I'm glad I found you even though my sky's are grey
But this is what happens in May
When the sun shines on my end you'll see the beauty in me
Because all you see is the beast that's truly in me
My music soothes me wraps me in its arms
It embraces me sometimes penetrates me
It relates to me
Sometimes I wonder if you were sent down by him
Just for me in this dying moment
If so then I'm blessed .

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she was the girl that connected her dots to my poetry
She caressed my soul , her sharp words pierced me
They where sharp as daggers , but she had the moves like Jagger
She showed me somethings that made my eyes lit
I did somethings that caused us to split
But the time spent is something I can't forget
Nor regret , people think they know what's best
But they're lonely too , I believe this is a test
I never fought for no one but myself
I was stingy and selfish
They say I'm making excuses
They say mean things about her I'm a protect her regardless, I don't want them they're useless
Irrelevant to my situation , as I thinking with deep concentration . I got to fight for this my mama didn't raise a quitter . They want me to hate her but love isn't bitter . Nor does it glitter like gold but as I hold my words and construct my thoughts I'm going to get her back . Sad thing because time isn't bought , I have to remind her of why she liked me in the first place I was different than these females . I was sweet and her little gentlewoman ..


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It's very frustrating how you have a new "friend" you know already. I'm still fucked up and you seem so composed . It's crazy how people lied on me and switched it up on me . I'm going to leave you alone I promise you . I've deleted your number and everything . So if you want to get in touch with me you know how to find me . I've ran across a few females since you've been gone it's only been a week . I just wanted friends but they fell in love with the whole idea of me . Now that they want more and I'm honestly not ready for that . I don't want no one else but you

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I'm falling at the speed of light
Into this false eternity
I wish I could alter life , change it
Move in slow motion while in a reverse
I would do that whole day over again
I would do everything just so I wouldn't lose you
This is the reality and I hate that I'm here
No one understands me and I don't expect no one to
Everyone wants to label me as a friend but then tell their homegirl I'm their boo
The only boo or Bae I had was you
If it's meant then this will happen
So as I patiently wait
Finding my escape poetry my first love
As I sing baby come back
As I listen to everything that soothes my broken soul
As I think of every conclusion
With this mature solution
I'm scared to say that I lost you

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I haven't ate since Sunday
It's Tuesday here
I can't sleep nor think straight
I haven't felt this way in a long time
I'm standing in this long line
Waiting for a yes or no
Waiting because I believe that there's a possibility
Well a chance that we could make this thing last
I've never done this , this is new
This doesn't happen in every relationship
I regret this shit to
I don't regret her because is the source of my joy
The one that I wake up for
Now why wake up why feel this
I haven't been with her long but she's
Replaced a lot of relationships that I had for years
I know these are something real they seem to be tears
I don't like to cry but if I cry for her then she's all that matters

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Day 2

Ugh !! I can't fucking stand this it's killing me inside . It kills me that I can't be with the one that I want and it knowing where it's going to go . I wish I could read her mind so I could know how she feels At Least but I hope she wants to continue this because I feel like this is really stupid and we both are wrong . I admit that I acted crazy , but I just want her in my life laying to me at night at least . Crazy thing is some how my ex gf Tahmineh found out that we weren't together . Had a nerve to call her ugly . Why is God testing me sending her into my life when I only want the girl to stay . I guess this is karma for all the shit that I did when I younger . I played too many games but Im so for sure of what I want and that's to be with her . So I can careless or what no what thinks or what anyone says .

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Her nectar is sweeter that honey
I've only had it twice
It's not something that I need
But it's something that I like
I'm glad its the way because I know I love her
It's not lust , in most relationships sex is a must
To me our dates are everything
We always have a good time
Good food and her company
Next to her is where I want to be
Meeting her at the alter
Rehearsing our vows
With kids some day
She's priceless that's what she says
But the price is right
I missing her tonight
It's quiet and I can't hear her snoring
I have all the covers tonight this is boring
No cuddles under her warm body
I'm sleeping on her side tonight
Because I miss her my tears are falling like rain drops alright

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I find myself getting like you , damn I'm tossed away
I slur my words and everything that I tend to say
Daddy you haunt me don't want your tendencies to stay
'Im sweeter than the tulips that tend to bloom in May
I know you was depressed overly stress
The alcohol and the needles got you caught up
You were a mess
I get crazy like you when I tend to get drunk
So I'm putting the bottle down I don't need to turn up
I had the woman of my dreams daddy I'm not tryna lose her
We got into cause my drinking I don't want to abuse her like you did my brother and his mother
You was depressed cause you lost your lover
I'm here still daddy I'm not tryna be like you
Because when I'm drunk I act like you
You should of let the needle along you thought the heroin was sweet but she did you wrong like every hoe that you meet
Karma was paid I'm sorry that you died of AIDS
I'm sorry that I never left flowers on your grave 

I always give credit where it's due the apologies are made 

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