I've gone MIA. Where did I go I'm not sure. This weeks has been many highs and a couples lows I'm overwhelmed. I'm planning a wedding juggling work keep my fiancé happy making a wedding dress over committed to making quilts. Reconnected with siblings. I don't know where I am I'm MIA. THIS JOURNEY I HAVE ALREADY GIVING UP ON. I need to refocus and look at the bigger picture. The day by day journey is confusing but one day I'll understand.

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I will never forget the day you told me I love you. Two years ago today you told me. We were standing in your parents house in front of the fire fire place. You were holding me and then you said I think I know how I feel but I'm scared to tell you. I stopped smiling nervous that you might even wanted to be done with this journey we just started. You grabbed me a little closer and told me you loved me. I remember explaining I'm not in love with you but that I could see myself falling in love with you. It's crazy that less than two years later I am your fiancé and you are mine. I love you more and more with every day that comes. I can't wait for our journey to really began, kids, more fur babies, a house and growth for us professionally. In so little time we have achieved so much but I will never forget the day you said I love you.

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I've been MIA. I overwhelm myself with the little things. I let people eat at me and today it turned my attitude bitter. I didn't lash out and get lippy but I was quiet and reserved. It was obvious my irritation and frustrations. It's amazing how someone we might not talk to everyday means so much. On a side note I never thought I would be a bridezilla but with people's current behaviours I am. The journey feels like a long road I don't know where I am going yet.

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Life's a bitch, a beauty, && busy. Planning, planning, planning this week was beyond chaos. I have been planning more for the wedding I have hand made 100 save the dates I still need to send them out I have made && finished the flower girl dress for beautiful Arabella. I have also made a template for bridesmaid dress I have ripped apart the skirt of my wedding dress (very emotional) frustration got the best of me. While working crazy hour I have done all of this and managed to keep the house clean. My fiancé is my rock he keeps me focus and helps me on the days I need a pick me up. Words can not express how much I love him. I can't wait to marry him on this journey.

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I have done terrible at this whole blogging thing. I have been so busy which is not an excuse but I have become lazy. Lazy with my food prep for work. Lazy with the house cleaning && lazy with my work out. With being so lazy I have felt guilty because I have been working so many hours that the time I do have with my fiancé I tend to just sit and cuddle with him then instead of cleaning while he sleeps I just lay here scrolling through Facebook instead of talking about my day or real feelings I am actually having. The whole point for me starting this blog was I wanted to push myself. Push myself in way && I have already started to slack.

Tomorrow I am going to focus on getting wedding things done cleaning the house and actually going to spoil myself it I get it all done && do my nails! Until tomorrow this is my journey.

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Still working on need to properly sew it add the zipper add the ribbon add the pockets and add the lace!

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Some people in life just bitch. They complain and are unhappy individuals. I have constantly told myself today not to let them in my head space. Allowing them in my head space and they will get the best of me. I shouldn't be focusing on the little things that don't even matter but yet we always find our selves up set in life when something little doesn't go right.

So many things are going right in my life my have a fiancé that loves , a dog that cuddles me and a family to support me. That's all I need on this journey.

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So today I have decided I am making my wedding dress. When is my wedding oh only in about ten months. But hope for the best and if you tell yourself you can get it done you will. As always staying on budget I didn't want to spend a lot on a dress. I have achieved this all more I ran from op shop to op shop looking for a wedding dress I would be able to tear apart and re create. I have found just that and it only cost me thirteen dollars. They don't match but they don't need to I will piece together just what I want I have already completed some other bits && bobs so I know the direction I am going in. Everything takes time on this journey.

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Today...

Today has been a full on day. I have worked all day && yet even though I should be tired I am wide awake. There are so many things my mind is telling me to do && still I don't know where to start. My tasks are simple tasks but I'm allowing myself to get overwhelmed. I think the main reason I am truly overwhelmed is the time difference, trying to plan a wedding half way across the world is a challenge. I know I can ask for help planning but again not knowing where to start in this task, I just don't know what to do.

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