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Yesterday was Finland's independence day, 100 years of independence, wow. I am proud to be a part of this country and it will always have a place in my heart. Despite the fact that it is cold and dark half of the time it is amazing to live here. The people, the cities, the nature. To be honest I could not ask for better.

My parents were a part of organising a huge party at the Haikon Villa that took place yesterday. The dresscode was swallow-tailed coat and ball dress, therefore everyone had dressed extremely fancy and it was fun for once to wear something a bit more elegant. There were a bit over 100 guests and though I first contradicted going I had a really good time. I got a few new acquaintances and had a delicious five course menu. There was a live band playing, but unfortunately I didn't dance very much, the adults were taking care of that part. My friend drove me home and I got to sleep in my own bed, when the rest of my family continued the festivities there. It was a nice way of celebrating the 100 years young Finland.

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thoughts

I have always been dedicated to school and taken it very seriously, don't take me wrong I still do and a value the free and high level education I get. The difference is, when I was younger and even last year I took school dead seriously. I had to have an A in every subject, even if I didn't understand or care about the subject I had to have the best grade. This lead to me being stressed, crying over school and hating myself if I got anything less than an A. I couldn't accept my failure, I only grieved and hated myself for being 'a lousy student'.

In 7th grade my guidance counsellor taught my class that there are three types of students A,B and C. C being the student that doesn't care at all about school or anything related to it, B caring too much and if getting a bad grade crying over it. A being the ideal student. It is the student who tries his/hers best and if things don't go as planned he/she only shrugs and moves on. As you could have guessed I have been the B student, but I have tried to learn to think like the A student and now I think I can say that I belong in that group. I have finally learnt that life moves on after a bad grade and to be completely honest it is only a grade, it does not necessarily prove your skills.

I want to focus on the subjects that I care about and put a lot of thought into them, than stressing about subjects I am not interested in. Again, I don't think other subjects should be valued more or that if you don't like a subject you should stop caring. No, do every mandatory course the best you can and if things don't go as planned it is not the end of the world. I am just saying that you should try your best and if you don't succeed it is fine. If you do succeed that is the most awesome feeling you can have when it comes to school and education.

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thoughts

This week has caught up on me, I want to surrender but I won't. I will keep pushing until I am at the finish line. The worst meters are the last. My hard work from the past two weeks will hopefully show tomorrow and on Monday. That is when I have my end-of-course exams in Physics, Finnish, Math and Politics. I am extremely nervous but currently i just want to get it done. I have been studying and stressing for the past two weeks and it only makes me anxious. I need these 24h to pass so that I can take it easy for a bit. Luckily I don't have anything planned for the weekend so I can relax and think about something else. Meet up with some friends, watch a movie, make delicious dinner, take a bath, ah that sounds so wonderful in my mind but so far from reality.

Oh well, I think I have complained enough for a certain amount of time. I hope you are having a much more pleasant week. Hugs.

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whatever

What are you doing right now? Watching Stranger Things on the couch.

What scares you? Letting people down, letting myself down, failing, loosing someone I love.

What excites you? Currently I am extremely excited for December. Not because of Christmas but because I have a lot of new and exciting stuff happening in that month, plus when December starts I will have completed my second period in high school.

What do you want to do in five years? Hmm... In five years I will be 21 years old. Wow, it is hard for me to imagine where I will be. I hope I will study abroad, still have a passion for photographing and be happy with where I am.

What makes you cry? I don't cry a lot, usually only when I haven't slept well, eaten enough or I am stressed.

What do you always have to have home food-wise? I don't live alone, but something I always make sure we have is bananas, Oatly, apples, ryebread and hummus.

What are you reading currently? Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Sapiens

What is nice? When I complete my check-list before I should, sleeping one hour extra, finishing a book, running in the dark, sitting at a cafe with a friend talking for hours.

What do you do when you get angry? Shut myself down, I can't function when I am angry. I also tend to be really quite, feisty and short worded.

What do you think are your most common greeting via text? Probably 'heeeeeellloooooo' or 'how has your day been?'

What are you jealous of? People who seem to have their life together and know exactly what they aspire to do. And people who can handle stress.

What is the most important thing? That we are open-minded, take care of ourselves and others, and aren't judgemental.

What is the cutest thing? When my brother told me the other day that if I get a boyfriend he will first make sure if he's nice and if he isn't he's going to stay away from him and make sure I will be fine.

What was the latest live performance I saw? Bruno Mars in May. That was the best concert I have ever attended.

What do you want to recommend? To always have the mindset that there might not be a tomorrow, i.e. always take the opportunities you have.


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thoughts

Books on books on books. I love reading more than anything. It lets my escape reality and live thru someone else's eyes. I learn, experience, cry, laugh and enlighten when I read. Reading gives me power, it gives me courage and ideas to live by.

I remember when I was younger my grandmother read fairytales for me all of the time and my parents used to read a lot for me. One specific reading memory I have is when I was about 11 or 12 years old my brother and I had gotten this book from our grandmother before the 1st of December. The book contained 24 chapters of a bunny called Neponen and his adventures. My mother read one chapter every night until Christmas Eve and I can still remember my excitement every evening. I came home from school waiting until we could read the next chapter.

Since I learnt to read I have always liked it. I always have at least one book on my nightstand and in my bag. I read everything, from comic books to heavy fact based novels and I like to switch up things and challenge myself. This year I had a challenge of finishing the Harry Potter -series and I am still going strong and determined to finish every single book. Without reading I feel bored and empty. I need to have someone else's story to read if my own isn't going as planned. Reading makes me relaxed and I can get so much knowledge out from one book. I believe that you can learn something from every book if you are reading it thoroughly enough.

Reading doesn't necessarily have to mean a thick novel or a complicated short-story. It can be everything from news to a blogpost. You will get something out from it whether if it's an 'outfit of the day' -post or a long article on what Donald Trump has gotten done during his Presidency. It is still reading. Everybody prefers their own type of reading and I don't think you should shove a big novel under every persons nose. For me, reading is pleasure and brings me peace.

As a conclusion I want to recommend five books I have read this year and I really liked.

1. The Housekeeper and the Professor by Yoko Ogawa

2. The Rabbit Yard by Johannes Anyuru

3. The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown

4. Into the water by Paula Hawkins

5. Salt to the sea by Ruta Sepetys

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