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mental health, Self Harm

Hello there beautiful!
Today is Self Injury Awareness Day and I was planning on writing something really smart and fancy (and not all over the place) about it all and wear more orange than you even would have thought was possible. But it's now less than 30 minutes left of this day and I still don't know what I want to say...

Which sucks because I want to say something that magically makes all the fucking 'cut, cut jokes' stop and make the staring and the pointing and the whispering and it all go away! I wish I could make everyone understand that self harm is not only young girls posting pictures of their cuts on tumblr, it's a serious issue that needs treatment! It affects people of all ages, genders, sexualities, etnicitets... anyone(!)

I wish I could make people understand that self harm is a lot more than just cutting.
I wish I could make people understand that really it's just the worlds shitties coping mechanism.
I wish I could make people understand that they can't expect people with scars to always wear long sleeves, even Sweden get's hot during the summer!?
I wish I could make people understand not everyone who self harms want to die
I wish I could make people understand everything about self harm! That would be really fucking great actually!

But mostly I wish I could travel back in time and tell 13 year old Penny that nahh, that whole self harm thing really isn't a good idea. (now I probably wouldn't have cared because I'm stubborn as fuck but still...). I wish I could have told myself how fucking hard it is to quit and how god damn annoying it's going to be to spend all of your teenage years hiding and lying because the world is offended by scars. I wish I could've told myself that some of the people I will call my friends will tell me "remember, it's down the road not across the street" and laugh. Because apparently that's supposed to be funny... you will never really understand why it's funny, but they'll tell you it's just a joke and that you shouldn't be 'overreacting'. However, I have all the right in the world to be offended because jokes are supposed to be funny and that is not funny in any way.

But I guess I just have to realize I can't do any of that, because nothing I say on this day will change the world or the way the world sees self harm (and I'm not a time traveler). I can however talk about it today and every other day, because that's really what's going to make a difference.

Oh and I can share this video that Laura made on SIAD in 2013, because it's pretty darn good and it's real cute.

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Geekery, Daily

​You know when you're watching the latest episode of your favorite show and you have to take a break mid way in and watch Elspeth play the town of light because your fan girl heart just can't take it? Oh you don't? well.. eh.... I have issues ok!?

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Daily, Music

I am not sure how this happened; but god am I sick of history! Which is the weirdest thing ever, I have always been a history geek but now I can barely keep my eyes open during class. And yeah I know, this type of music might not be ideal if you're half asleep but ... I just found her again and I am slightly too excited about it. Felt like I needed a break from all the K-pop and fangirl tears. heh...

Oh well, class is over soon and my Monday lunch-date seems to not answer her phone = I might have to eat with my class and ugh. I'm just not about that social, smiling, laughing life right now (or ever to be honest). zzZzZz

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Not only did I do my makeup for once, I also took pictures. Maybe not great pictures (I may or may not have gone downstairs and cooked food after the second picture so the sun had time to say bye bye...oops) but hey, they're pictures alrighty.

Products used:

  • Lime Crime candy eyes eyeshadow helper
  • Sephora flashy liner waterproof (08 flashy blue)
  • Make Up Store eyedust (sight)'
  • Random craftstore glitter
  • LA Splash eyeshadow sealer/ base (for glitter, this shit is the best!)
  • NYX eyeshadow base (white
  • Sugarpill loose eyeshadow (lumi)
  • Sugarpill pressed eyeshadow (mochi, afterparty, velocity, tako
  • Urban Decay eyeshadow (blackout)
  • Lumene true natural volume mascara
  • Isadora lash color waterproof mascara (52 aqua blue)
  • DUO lash glue
  • 2 pairs of random lashes I had laying around


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Self Harm, mental health

Let's talk about some awesome people on the internet that talk about self harm and other mental health issues shall we?

1. Laura Lejeune
This girl is honestly one of my favorite people ever. She makes videos about self harm and other mental health issues such as eating disorders and social anxiety. But she also posts about veganism and other things sometimes. Honest, opinionated and ironic yet very, very sweet. Oh, and she has the most amazing accent ever!

2. Kati Morton
To be completely honest I don't know much about this woman, she does however make very informative and good videos about all kinds of mental health issues. Unlike the other women I'm telling you about she is actually a therapist so her videos are more informative and not as much about her own experience with things.

3. xsullengirlx
Now this girl has been on youtube for a loong time and I think she is one of the first people to actually make videos on the topic of mental health. The reason I love her so much is mostly because of the videos she has made about bpd (especially this one cuz gawhd am I sick of getting told 'my ex was borderline, you're all crazy soul-less people') She doesn't post very often but you guys should still totally check out her videos. As I said she has been on youtube for a long time, so she does have quite a lot of great videos.

4. idranktheseawater
Another amazing woman who I have watched for a long time. She posts videos quite often and talk about pretty much any mental health issue you can think off. Self harm, eating disorders, tourette, ptsd and so on. She has also written three books that I myself haven't read yet, but am planing on doing one day.

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Music

Yup, this is what I have been listening to on repeat the last few days. Send help. please!

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mental health, Daily

On this day three years ago I tried to end my life for the first time.

And I've been trying to write something that makes sense for the last three hours but honestly ... I give up now. fuck this shit, good night.

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Daily, Music

So here I was, watching a stream and doing my makeup when all of a sudden I hear that Bowie has passed away?! And honestly I don't even know what to say else than omg? So ...now I guess I'll cry to his music and try to re-do my makeup that just got destroyed.

holy fuck...
</3

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Daily

​Well... to be honest probably not. At all! I may or may not have dropped my poor phone in my noodles today? And by may or may not I mean I totally did it and now the speakers doesn't work anymore. But, if we try to be positive ... I now have the perfect excuse for not picking up the phone? Though I have a feeling people will accept the whole "Sorry, social anxiety. Can't talk on the phone" over "yeah, I dropped my phone in my noodles and the speakers are now broken".

But hey, what do I know? Probably nothing cuz I dropped my fucking phone in my noodles zzZ

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Like the rest of the world I decided on two new years resolutions yesterday and like the rest of the world I am too hungover today to even be bothered with them. Now, unlike the rest of the world my two new years resolutions are not very serious and does not involve the classic 'no drinking/ candy/ smoking' or 'go to the gym more often' etc. (I'm realistic ok, no way I will ever stop drinking wine or get my lazy ass to a gym) Mine are simply to piss other people off and watch with a big smile on my face while they contradict themselves.

- Wear more makeup (to piss people off and get all the "you shouldn't wear makeup" comments)
- Post more selfies of me without eyebrows (also to piss people of, but instead get the "please draw on your eyebrows" comments)

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