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I always feel peaceful every time I go to the graveyard. Might not be the best way to talk about it since it is a place for missed loved ones, but it is still beautiful there.
I am lucky, I have never lost a loved one who I knew, except my cat Pearl of course.

So we walked to the graveyard.
My homework is to walk three times a week for at least fifteen minutes with my step mother, or by myself if I am brave enough. I have not done it on my own yet though, maybe in the future.

It has been an up-and-down day today, it was actually the same yesterday. It is truly exhausting to almost constantly be in a battle against your own mind, so today I am very tired. I could have a small breakdown for an unknown reason several times, and then simply continue with my "normal" life. It is not something new, I know. I am far away from the only one with this unfortunately.

I believe this is helping me deep down, to actually write about my thoughts, feelings and activities. I have never cared about how many who actually want to read what I have to say, recognition has never been my thing. It is ironic nonetheless, writing about my life for everyone to see because of me thinking it might help another person which is my goal in life, to help, but still does not care if no one reads it.
Well, I do want my creations to be known by many, just not my identity. I do not care about fame, I simply want the things I do to get recognizable.

Also, I will try to share some pictures later on. I love photography (even though I am not particularly good at it) and I think it would make this blog look a bit better!
So enjoy looking at this drawing of Florist made by my step mother.

Take care!

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This was the first day in school after summer, not what I expected and it was very unnecessary to even be there honestly. It was a little meeting at first when the principle talked about how it is going to be harder and how many blame the school and teachers a lot when it gets hard. It is not that hard in my opinion, just hard to start doing it.
Many like school starts mainly because you see your friends and new people. I personally do not like anything that involves school at all. The only person I had a really good connection with is no longer in this school. Of course I talk to my other classmates and have a few friends but I do not like that kind of relationship. I would much rather have a few very good friends than many who I barely talk to outside of school.
Oh well.

I am on my way home now when I am writing this, I miss my kitten and this is the first time he is alone for a few hours. I am a bit worried of course but I think he took this in a good way. I will not be home as much now obviously.

I am also going to clean my room a bit, my bed is full with clean clothes and I was too lazy to take care of it yesterday. I want to be more productive, I am that kind of person deep down but the anxiety has ruined a lot through out the years.

It does not feel good to write all this, I hate to share my life on social media. Even though this is what I want to to with my life, (writing, make videos and take pictures) it still feels weird. When I am writing this I see there is no structure in it. I just keep writing about my day and thoughts, but is that actually entertaining? Maybe. I am not really doing anything yet or talking about interesting topics.
Anyway, I'm off for now. Maybe I will write something later.

Take care!

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I have wanted to do this for a long time now. My argument if I should do this in English or Swedish went on for way too long, but now I am here. You obviously already know what I went with.

Hi!
My name is Sofia, aka Pearl. The name is from my childhood cat, even though her name was the Swedish version. I am a pretty creative person, but my biggest struggle is to actually start doing my projects. I am a huge perfectionist when it comes to things I love and want to do. Help.

My biggest passion is creative projects in any shape and form. Art, writing, music and so on. Dreams and goals, writing books, become an YouTuber and to help people in some way.
I would also say I am a bit random, not as in crazy though. I am not a leader type, even though I am not afraid to take the lead if I have to. I am also either extremely picky with things or extremely blind to it, there is no in between. I am an optimist/ realist on my good and normal days, pessimist on my anxiety days.

(I believe I have to mention I am extremely bad with having a schedule, so posts on this blog will be at random times. And since my anxiety often kicks in when I want to do something productive, I will have trouble keeping this a regular thing. I will try of course! I think I am getting better and this might help me even more.)

This is mainly going to be a "Lifestyle" blog.
I hate to brag, I hate to show off things I like and things I am proud of. But... I have been in the shadow for too long and I am not healthy because of it. So, here I am, ready to show my life and my story with every single person who is reading this. Of course I am nervous, this is something I am not used to, and probably never will be used to it either.

So, welcome! I hope you will enjoy your stay with a nice cup of tea.

Oh, by the way. This is my new kitten! Well, the top of his head at least. I named him Florist, the meaning behind it is a secret, but he is so cute!

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