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Greetings lovely people. I haven't updated you in a while, and I'm sorry about that. Let's hop straight into the purpose of this post though! When I last spoke to you I had just downloaded Storytel (still not a sponsor) and I have actually managed to listen to quite a few books which I'm so pleased about! Quick review of each one just incase you're interested!

What the most successful people do before breakfast: You all know that I'm an advocate for waking up early and facing the day, so what this book did for me was simply motivating me even more to continue this. It basically talks about how much people manage to get done in the morning and what a difference this makes for their stress levels during the day. A really inspiring and short read if you need a little push!

The law of attraction: I've wanted to read this book forever because I've heard so many people talking about it online. The law of attractive basically entails how we attract the things that happen to us with our moods and thoughts. Like if you're a very negative person and you're always thinking about how much of a failure you are, you are going to attract that negative energy and the good things won't present themselves to you. They also talk a lot about envisioning what you want and how that will eventually be given to you if you have the right mindset. I really recommend listening to it if you're into that stuff, like I am.

Omgiven av idioter: First book that's in Swedish, sorry about that. But I do recommend reading it. It's quite long, but if you're into psychology and human behavior and just basically figuring out why people are the way they are, this is perfect. The author divides people with different behaviors in groups and basically teaches you how to deal with them. I think I'm a mix between yellow and green, if you've read it. Oh, if any of you actually did, what colors do you think you are??

Turtles all the way down: I was incredibly stoked to see that they had John Green's new book on there, and I was not disappointed. If you're a fan of his other work, like the fault in our stars and paper towns, you'll love this. I love his writing style so much, and the way he portrays the characters is just so so real. I'm not gonna get into what it was about really because you just need to read it asap. I'll just mention that it focused a lot on friendships, which I really appreciated. Let's hope they'll make a movie at some point. *fingers crossed*




I also wanted to post a couple of pictures of my current favorite outfits I've worn recently now when it's been a bit colder. I actually really like autumn and winter because I tend to get hot pretty quickly, so I actually appreciate the cold and the chance to wear jumpers. The stuff is pretty much all from H&M and Zara which have been my go to shops since I came back to Sweden.



I love filming and editing, and I'm constantly wishing I'd do it more often. Because of this, I've decided to do vlogmas this year. If you're not regularly on youtube, it's a thing pretty much every youtuber does, where they vlog everyday from the first of December and leading up to Christmas. I'm gonna try to do that this year, and if I manage to keep it up, I'm gonna invest in a nice camera next year. I'm really excited! I probably will keep on doing it for the whole of December because my friend Emmy and I are going to London (specifically Kingston where I lived) at the end of the year and I plan to document it very well. If any of you would be actually interested in watching, I'll drop a link once I publish the first one. I don't really mind if no one watches them to be honest, they're more for me than for anything else. Yay for ways to be creative, right?

I gotta get ready for a seminar now, wish me luck!

x

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I like putting up a challenge for the month, you guys know that now. Even though I don't follow them all to a tee, (like posting every day in October, that went great), I do still enjoy having something to strive for or to put my attention on. This month I've decided to read as much as I can. I figure since one of my courses for school is going to be doing lots of research I might as well go all in and just collect as much information and enjoyment as I can from written words of other people. I'm definitely a self-help book kind of girl. I love reading about how you can change your life to make you stress less or how the way you think can make you live a more positive life. It's like crack to me. I also love learning new things, it makes me feel more accomplished and motivated.

I don't always have the time or motivation to sit down with a book though, so this month I decided to try a free month trial from the app storytel. (And before you say anything, I know that sounds like the first line of a sponsored video, and no, I'm sadly not sponsored by storytel.) I was actually pretty impressed by the amount of audiobooks they offered, since I've been disappointed by Swedish audiobook apps before. Since I don't tend to be interested in Swedish books there needs to be a big selection in the English category. And there was! I actually ended up listening to the entire thing of #girlboss today, a book I've wanted to read forever. I've heard so much about it and I was not disappointed. I can highly recommend it to any girl out there that needs some motivation, especially if you're in your twenties. Sophia is such a cool woman and she definitely made me want to go out there and be a girl boss. I'll keep you guys updated as the month goes on, let's see how many books I can finish!

x


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October really flew by. I always say this, but it's so freaking true. Time moves far too fast.It's so easy to just go along with it and not really think about it. This month I'm gonna try to not do that as much. I'm gonna true to live in the moment a bit more, enjoy what I'm doing every second. Relax and let myself just be sometimes. My head is always focus on things that are coming up, and I think it's the reason for the stress I tend to feel. I have two pretty big projects for school until the end of the year so I really wanna try to handle it better than I did last month. I'm leaving what happened in October behind and I'm starting a new chapter.

Speaking of chapters, I finished deathly hallows yesterday. If you're a massive Harry Potter fan like me you probably know the feeling of being close to finishing the series for the 100th time and how you kind of don't want to because that means it's over all over again. This was the first time I properly read them all in English as well, so it was kind of special for me. One good thing is that I can now finally watch the two movies I have left, since I've been rewatching them along with finishing the books.

I'm gonna try to spend some more time on my notes for school this month. I'm absolutely obsessed with the pretty notes people post on tumblr, so I thought it might inspire and motivate me a bit if I spend some more time on them. I'm also going to get out of the house more when studying, since I find that makes me a lot less likely to panic and try to procrastinate. One of my favorite places to sit at is the cafe where my sister works.

Does anyone have any studying advice or just some tips for how you stay motivated? I'm always open for suggestions and some motivational words.


x

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So let's just say that this month has not been the best for me. I am however, starting to feel better. My stressful schoolwork as paid off and I'm finished with the two first courses of the semester. I have a whole weekend to relax until the next one starts on Monday. I feel okay though. More motivated. This might sound weird for a person who hates mornings, but I truly believe it's because I woke up at 6 am today.


I've actually always been a morning person, and for a while now I work up early every morning. When I started feeling bad this month, I fell off that. It was like my brain didn't want to allow itself the motivation that always seems to spike when I'm up and doing stuff before 7. But with how good I'm feeling today, I've made up my mind. I'm going back to putting my alarm on 6 am. It's something so comforting about being up that early that I can't really explain. I guess I enjoy the fact that I can make a cup of coffee and then go back to bed and watch stuff while I allow myself to wake up. That I don't have to feel like I'm at war with time and get stressed. I needed to finish some stuff for my assignments today and I was so motivated to do so because I was up so early. If you haven't tried it, I can definitely recommend it. To do this properly you obviously need to be in bed at like 10 or 11 pm, because you still need to get enough sleep. I'm kind of a grandmother, so that isn't a problem for me. Especially when you're a student at uni and you don't have to wake up that early, I think it could really help to do so. I especially like it at this time of the year, because it was still dark when I woke up, and I got to watch the sun come up. If that doesn't motivate you to make the most of your day, what does?


I have three more tips for you guys before I go. First of all, my favorite youtube duo have a book out, and if you're a gmm nerd like me, you'll need to go pick this up. There is nothing more inspiring than their devotion to each other and what they do. My second tip is for all the design students out there using laptops. Pick up a monitor. I got this one and I'm completely obsessed. I just know it will make my life so much easier when working in the adobe programs, and since I don't own a TV, this is like the next best thing. And the third tip for all my vegan swedes out there who still want to enjoy fredagsmys tonight and feel, like I, that they deserve a treat. These three items are all vegan.


Happy Friday everyone! x

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I'm starting to feel a bit better, I think. I'm still not feeling like myself, and I find it pretty annoying by now, because I just want to feel alright and happy again, you know? The last few days have been a filled with trying to finish my assignments to the best of my ability, and watching tons of Zoe vlogs. Like I mentioned before they really help me when I'm feeling anxious. I'm not really watching most of the time either, I just have them on in the background. And it helps. I've also done a bit of painting to distract my brain, and I'm actually really happy with the picture I made surrounding a cool quote I found a while ago that I liked. I'm still learning how to work the watercolors, so don't judge me too hard ok?

One amazing thing that happened last week was the arrival of my very first vegobox! Vegobox is a subscription that send you a box once a month with vegan snacks! I was really happy with the contents of the box, and I'm already really looking forward to the next one.

I hope you're all feeling well and that you got a productive start to your week. I actually did manage to finish editing my video project today so I'm pretty stoked.

x

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Yesterday was mental health awareness day. It's kind of funny, the way it sort of landed right in the middle of some of the worst days I've had in my life.

I am not diagnosed with anxiety. I don't take medications for it, never have. I didn't really think I had it until I had a panic attack while living in England a bit over a year ago. I was always a pretty nervous child, like my stomach was constantly in flutters before I was going to do stuff, and I sometimes felt a bit sick with nerves. But I never really let it get to me. It wasn't stronger than I was.

But as I’ve gotten older, it has started to grow. I get this pit in my stomach a lot, for no reason. Sometimes my heart starts to race and I have to remind myself to breathe calmly. I’ll have things to go to that shouldn’t make me feel sick with nerves, but they do. Even though I know it’s going to be okay, it’s like my body doesn’t. But I’ve had it under control for quite a while now, and I’ve been feeling good.

I put a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself. Pressure to be happy, positive, a good friend, a supportive big sister, a daughter my parents can be proud of, to have a great lifestyle, to be a productive student. I’m always striving to do things at the best of my ability, and when I don’t feel that I’ve reached that, I push further. I work myself up over things, I stress, I overthink. I try so hard. And right now, I feel like I’ve reached rock bottom. The last few days have been absolutely horrible. I’ve cried a lot. I’ve talked down on myself a lot. I’ve felt like a failure. I can’t pretend I don’t feel the pressure anymore. That it isn’t too much. It’s the worst, isn’t it? When the only one pressuring you and making you feel anxious, is yourself? How do you get yourself to quit fucking with you? I can’t be the perfect person I’m trying to be. Because perfection doesn’t exist. We’re all messy. We all have shit to deal with. And I really need to deal with mine.

It’s mad, isn’t it? That you can go from feeling amazing and like you’re on this great mission in life, only to fall to the bottom in a pile of shit? I guess this is a great way to show people that don’t really get mental health problems that yes, they do in fact exist and they work in fucked up ways. And for my fellow anxious people out there, here’s another person to tell you that you’re not alone in your feelings.

I’ve felt anxious before, and I’ve gotten past it. I will get past this too. But I need to start being nicer to myself. I need to start letting myself fail. I need to give myself a break.

Can everyone reading this to me a favor? Take care of yourselves. Because your health is the most important thing, and you should never let anything take its place.

x

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Day 8 was a bit better than day 7. I still don't feel completely alright to be honest, I don't know what it is but hopefully it will pass soon. I'm really glad that I still managed to make it to the gym this morning for a body balance class because a lot of the time when I'm not feeling well I don't have the motivation to go. But I did and it was great but now my muscles are super sore. I think I've truly found my hips for the first time in forever, and man, it hurts. But I like the pain, it makes me feel good, like I've accomplished something. After the class I went straight to the food shops and stocked up on a few things. I'd made up my mind about baking vegan banana bread, so I had the get stuff for that. I also just picked up some vegetables and things for cooking.Once I finally made it home, I was already exhausted. So I spent the rest of the day baking, doing a bit of school work and cooking dinner. I kind of made a pad thai for the first time and it was actually really good. Here's to being adventurous in the kitchen!

I'm sorry these posts are so boring, I just don't really feel very interesting at the moment, you know? Anyway, tomorrow is Monday and I have high hopes for it to bring my mood back up. I love Mondays. I know, what? But I don't have class on Mondays and I just tend to feel really inspired since it's the start of the week. I have to really start on my film project for my interaction class, so let's hope it all works out. I hope you reading this had a nice Sunday, whatever you were doing.

x

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I'm gonna be honest here, day 7 was kind of a let down. I woke up with a headache and even though I tried to ignore it by drinking lots of water and going to the gym for my body pump class, it stayed with me most of the day. So I haven't had the best day. I hoped to get a lot done, and it didn't happen. That in turn makes me feel worse since I start stressing more about what I need to do. Man, I just really wish I was more relaxed with this stuff. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm gonna try to sleep it off and hope that tomorrow will be a better day and that I will have the strength and motivation to get stuff done. I honestly just want to go to sleep right now, so this is going to be the shortest update so far.

Hey, on a happy note, I finally received materials for my art class, and I'm so excited to get started with it. I ordered it all of Adlibris and it actually wasn't that expensive, which is a huge plus.

Will anyone reading this send me a virtual hug and cross their fingers that I'll feel better tomorrow? I kinda need it.

x

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Okay, we're reached day 6 and this is the first time I don't actually feel inspired to write. I think that's pretty alright still, given the fact I haven't been blogging in so long. I still want to do the whole month though, so I am simply going to write about what I do when I don't feel motivated or inspired to do something. This happens quite a lot for me actually. I have all these ideas and aspirations, but I sometimes have a hard time actually turning them into reality. I don't know why I do that to myself! It shouldn't have to be so hard to actually do what I want to do, should it? I know I'm not alone with this, and that it's actually a very common problem for people. I guess I'm just trying to get out of it because I would love to be able to be more productive with my time. You never know what's going to happen in the future, you kinda need to live in the now and get your shit together, you know?

I tend to procrastinate with school work, and it really annoys me. Because I know that I have what it takes to get it done, I just get worked up and stress myself out about it. If I only sat down and actually tried to divide the work in little parts instead of freaking out about the amount of work I have to do, I'd be so much calmer and my work would be better. That's what I'm trying to do this semester. I'm constantly making lists with little boxes so I can tick the things that I've finished, and I've found that very helpful. It's nice to see the things I've managed to accomplish before me, and it makes me more inclined to continue studying. If you haven't tried this, do it! It might save you a lot of stress.

Sometimes you just have to do it. It's that simple. If you're like me, that demanding voice reminding you about it will only get louder the longer you push something away. Besides, is there a nicer feeling than the one you have when you've finished something? I guess you just have to try and remember how good that is, and make yourself crave that so much that you get your butt in gear! I'm not an expert, like I've mentioned I'm quite bad at this myself. But I'm trying.

x

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It's day 5 of work on myself October, and I thought that I would use today's post to tell you who I watch on youtube on a regular basis and why. If you're like me and you're an avid youtube watcher, you probably have a list of people that you prefer to watch as well. Obviously at this point there are tons and tons of people putting out videos, and it's impossible to watch them all. I'm also the kind of person that gets attached to things, meaning that when I start watching someone's stuff and enjoy it, I'll watch it all. I actually find that youtube has helped me through a lot, and here I'll introduce you to a few people that I have to thank for that!

Rhett & Link - So I'll admit that I was quite late to jump onto the good mythical morning train. I think I've been watching their stuff for like 3 years now? Anyway, I'd heard about them obviously, because who hasn't? And once I actually sat down to watch them, I got hooked. It's just something so nice about two guys who have spent almost their entire lives being best friends and creating things together. Their chemistry is just perfect, and they have probably made a video about just about every topic. They're hilarious and challenge the limits of entertainment without stepping over the line. I especially appreciated their stuff while I was going through some hard times last year, it always managed to make me laugh and feel a bit better. I have a few of their videos that I always come back to because they remind me of that feeling.

Zoe Sugg - Zoe is probably one of the most known beauty vloggers on youtube, so this might seem a bit generic. But while I do love watching her main channel, it's the vlogs I love. There's just something about her often 30 minute long videos that has always had a very calming effect on me. Whenever I feel anxious or just a bit unsettled, I'll put one of her vlogs on. I've probably seen all of them at least twice. Maybe it's because I can relate to her a lot, or maybe it's because I've been watching her stuff for years now and it's nice and familiar. She's just so down to earth and positive and I really appreciate that.

Kalyn Nicholson - I think I found Kalyn's videos sometime at the end of last year and I've honestly been hooked since. She's one of the people that inspired me to go vegan, and she's also been a huge motivation for me working out regularly. She does a lot of videos about organization and goal setting, and I suppose her tips kind of woke that side of me when I truly needed it. I just really enjoy watching her everyday life as well.

Those three channels are the ones I always come back to and connect to on a deeper level. Does this make me sound weird? Maybe, but hey, they makes me happy when I'm down, calm when I feel stressed, and motivate me when I need a push. And I'm very grateful for that.

x

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