Hey guys! I hope everyone have had an awesome new year's and christmas. Myself I've been very sick and I also been to London. But I was home in time for New Year's and even though I mainly coughed through the whole night I did have an amazing evening. I met a swedish guy at new year's eve. Or. I actually met two, but figured out pretty soon that only one of them was living here. We got along well and since I do miss speaking my native language a lot and also sometimes just want to talk to someone who "gets it", living abroad in a culture that are so different from your own, well lets say I was pretty quick with the "Let's be friends".I felt zero attraction to him.Chemistry is supposed to be mutual, right? Both must feel it.

Either way, as swedes do we lost eachother during the evening and me and the friend I was celebrating with ended our night around 4.30 am. I texted my new found swedish friend the day after. And we agreed to meet for drinks a couple of days later. It was great fun, we got a long well once again, talking about all the differencies we we're experiencing living in Italy. We had soo much to talk about but once again no attraction, no chemistry. Come on guys! When a girl jokes about having a pimple on her butt she is not into you.

Everyone is different and all that. It's a good thing, people should be. But so are everyones preferences. I noticed this guy had extremely long nails. No paint on them, but his nails was longer than mine all natural. This is a turn off for me. Several reasons for it. We are living in acity that is extremely dirty. I like to keep my nails short because it only takes an hour or two for them to get dirty again after I have cleaned them. He didn't have any other "special influences" in his looks which makes me think they were long because he was lazy, and I can't even imagine how his toenails look then. Or maybe he just liked having long nails and thought it looked good, what do I know?

What I do know is that I did not care, because from the start I purely saw him as a friend. And you don't have to think friends are attractive, that would be weird and he seemed to have a fun personality so we hang out. After we been hanging out a few hours, We we're sitting and resting our feets with containers filled with trash all around us. We we're litterally sitting next toa trash center and he asks me if he can kiss me. I am surprised by the question and answers without any consideration. "No you can not, I don't feel that way" even though I learnt that to not hurt anyones feelings you should always seem like you think about it, pause before you answer. But my answer was a straight no, because the question came from nowhere and I really did not want to kiss him. Do I have to say it did become a bit awkward afterwards?

Either way he said "If you never ask you never know, atleast now I don't have to go around wondering" which ofcourse is true, but I can't help but wondering. Have people really started to become so bad at reading other peoples signals? I felt like it was obvious to me and everyone around us at this TRASH CENTER that I did not want to kiss him. It was obvious to everyone except him. I felt no chemistry at all, I always believed that chemistry goes both ways. If one can't feel it, the other one can't either. Am I wrong?

Even yesterday walking home from the city I have my earplugs in listering to music, when i'm almost home there's a guy walking in front on me. I keep walking, listening to music, but he sees me and he slows down, like trying to walk next to me and glares at me. I ignore him and look all other ways, keep listening to my music. Because it's late, I don't want to talk to random guys at the street and I just want to go home and eat dinner with my roomies. Earphones are defenitely my "do not disturb me sign" Either way. Ofcourse he starts talking to me. Starting with the simple "do you have light?" in italian. I take out one of my earphones and says "no, sorry" in english. Then I plug in my earphone again and starts walking a bit faster. And he speeds up with me. "You are not italian? Where are you from?" I take out my earphones again and he has to repeat the question. "I'm from sweden" plugs my earphones in again, and he still keeps talking to me.

So I litterally have to plug my earphones in and out several times, like the fact I keep plugging them in is not a sign that i'm not willing to have a conversation with him and the fact I answer his questions with extremely short answers. He walks me almost all way home. I lost him when I had to cross the road and by then I was playing my music so load that I impossible could hear whatever he was saying. I don't know. Does a girl have to be avaiable all the time? Sometimes I just want to walk the streets, listening to my music without talking to anyone. Am I giving unclear signs or is it these guys that litterally won't take no for an answer?

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​Saying I have any luck with finding a date for new years would be a complete lie, I got nothing. Am I too picky? I totally am. I've swiped 100 of guys and I don't even wanna swipe right on any of them. If I get a match, it's one of those creepy tinder plus guys and there's no way we're gonna kiss at New years.

If i'm aware of the fact that a guy has tinder plus when he shows up among my swipes I will automatically swipe left, it doesn't matter how good looking he is or if he has an amazing bio, tinder plus is a big NO NO for me. Let me tell you why. Something seem extremely shady to me when it comes to people that are paying to hide their profile on tinder, to hide their age and distance. Why do you need to hide your profile on tinder? These guys most likely got a girlfriend or even a wife, it's not often there's crazy exstalkers behind and if the guy would say it is. Come on, he can just swipe left, report and unmatch. I'm not buying that excuse because apparently every guy with tinder plus got a crazy exstalker.

Tinder is so that you can meet people nearby, that are in your area right now, matching with people that are hundreds of miles away,what's even the point with that? I do somehow find it gross when guys say they use it for travelling, so they know for sure they will have people to meet when they arrive to a new place, these guys often also expects sex from you. And I just puke in my mouth, you're catching a STD in every country and believe it or not, I do not want any of them. I do not want to show you around my city, have sex with you and get ghosted afterwards when you leave the country. I feel like these guys are clearly just wasting my time, you want a tourguide? pay for it.

It's also extremely desperate, you need tinder plus to meet girls, your 100 swipes a day isn't enough to get matches? Tinder plus is not gonna help, it's just gonna make you look more desperate. I'm not willing to match with anyone 100 of miles away, people that have girlfriends or hide stuff about themselves or slutty guys. That's why Tinder plus is a red flag for me. What's your thoughts on this?

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Some people might say I have an expensive taste. I love food and I won't mind eating pasta with black truffles and tons of blue cheezes. I rather stay hungry than eating food that I don't like. It's the same thing with men. I'm not afraid to be alone and if I swipe tinder and doesn't immediatley like a guy, i'm gonna swipe left and never think about him again. Until he crashes into my inbox on instagram.

The most single people (and people in happy relationships) knows very well what tinder is today. For you who doesn't know this it's an app that will show you pictures of people that are in your area. Tinder is very superficial and you make your judgments from photo and a very short bio. If you're not interested you swipe left and the person will not reappear. If you are interested you swipe right and if the person has swiped on you to it's a match. First when this has happened you can message eachother. Guys that you are not interested in should not be able to message you. But ofcourse, there will always be some sneaky losers that will not accept the no swipe.

There will be guys that knows they will never have a chance with you, that you will never swipe right on them that feel like you owe them a conversation anyway. Because if you just talked to them, you would know what an awesome person they are and fall in love or atleast want to spread your legs to someone you're simply not attracted to? Right? No.

So these guys search for you on instagram and contacts you there, sometimes they find you on facebook and the really creepy ones find you on WhatsApp or Snapchat, you can't escape this. The guys are to stubborn to accept a no for an answer, and they will find you, they will hunt you until you agree to go on a date with them. Doesn't matter you would be more interested in dating anyone else on the planet. A no will not be accepted.

And whatever you do, do not answer to these messages because it will get nasty. (I've recieved deathtreats from simply telling guys i'm not interested) I have tried to talk to guys and try to understand how they are thinking when they contact girls they haven't matched with. Often these messages start with "Hey, I saw you on tinder..."

Tinder was invented so that guys and girls didn't have to talk with people they don't like. Stalking people up and texting them somewhere else kind of kills the idea of that and every time I find a new instagram request from someone I've declined on tinder I get goosebumps in a bad way "Another guy not understanding the concept of no". Because that's exactly what it is. I didn't like you. We didn't match. You decide to ignore that and text me somewhere else.

Remember girls. You don't ever owe a guy a conversation and if he's already early on breaking the rules of whats social acceptable and what you feel comfortable with. Reject! Reject! Reject! This ofcourse also applies to guys. Never let anyone in your life because you feel like you owe it to them. Nice guys and girls accept boundaries and rules.

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I'm trying to slowly accept that I live in a country that doesn't contain everything I love. Sourcream and onion chips, salt black licorize, chocolate that tastes something else than sugar, and men.

Wait a minute? Doesn't Italy have men? Italy has plenty of men, so far not many of them has fitted into my preferences and i'm blaiming cultural differencies and my lack of social life. I haven't met every italian man living on this earth and there must be someone I would like, right? I understand that i'm the black sheep here, coming from a country where men does not approach me on the street simply because that's how my culture look and that would make them weirdos. A girl can be just as upfront as a guy, and in most cases she is expected to be.

I'm just slowly getting myself into a situation where I both feel undateable at the same time as I see every guy I meet as undateable. At the same time I get bombarded with messages every day of my life, from guys I don't know. So clearly it's not my looks that makes me undateable. It's my personality, or the fact that i'm building walls between me and these guys.

This blog will be about dating internationally. A lifestyle blog from a swedish girls perspective, you will not only read about my dating life but also about how I'm slowly adjusting to my life in a new country. Hopefully you will find this blog as humorous as I find making it. Everything is written with love and a big pinch of salt.

I will figure all this out, and until then I'll make people smuggle sourcream and onion chips for me from the american base.

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