It started with one mistake and it have just went down hill from there. I did a mistake at work and the boss who was in charge has no plan of forgetting what I did. He´s made it very clear that I am not of his favorite persons at the office. Me who just want to be liked and loved have a very hard time accepting this.
Then the weekend came, me and hubby was going to celebrate it at my father in laws cabin by the lake,. We were bringing my nephews along. My youngest newphew is one very hyperactive child, I was exhausted before it even began. We asked him over and over to calm down. When my sister came to pick them up sunday it took no longer than 1 hour until my sister had it with him and sent him on a time out. She was so very harsh on him. I asked so very carefully if they ever had his hyperactivity evaluated. This is where hell began. Me and my sister do not have a good relationship. We are so very different and we do not get along, but I love the kids. She called my mom crying asking about it, she basicly told on me like a child. The monday came and it was mine and my hubbys very first anniversary. My mother calls to congratulates us to follow up with having a go at me for what I said to my sister. The anniversary day was ruined, I was in tears with a huge migraine making me sick. I´ve had a slight headache ever since. The relationship between me and my sister is ice cold. Not to mention the relationship with mom. My mom, wow I don´t think there is a single thing in this world where she actually would think I have done a good job.
I realized through all this that happened why I eat. Food and sugar became my family when my family wasn´t there. We dont discuss feelings in my family, if something happens the best thing is to act like it hasn´t. Well 3 people in our family works fine with this, the fourth, me, does not.
I try to go to work and I try to put a smile on my face but I am so deep down in this at the moment. I won´t have nothing to do with my sis no more, I am done, so much that has happened before this, but now, I´m done. Mom, well you´ve complained about me for the last time. If you can´t respect and be proud of the beautiful and good woman I´ve grown up to be, well then I am done trying to prove it to you.
I`M JUST DONE, I´ve broken myself in two trying to fight this, trying to get my familys respect. Think I need to focus on my own respect instead because somewhere along the line, I stopped caring about myself.