I think, since I was a little kid, I've been attracted to toxic things.

When I was 6, I loved playing with flowers at the park in front of my house. They were pretty to look at, but they made my body itchy and I couldn't stop sneezing. Yet I kept playing with them even though all they did was making me sick.

When I was 12, this one boy with glasses and v-neck t-shirt caught my attention and before I could do anything, I already fell for him. He was abusive (of course, not physically, but verbally) yet I still loved him and I stayed for almost five years before I finally thought it was enough and I should save myself.

After that, I swore I wouldn't get involved with anything toxic.

When I was 18, this hardcore gamer stole my heart and he became my home (well.. a home is a place where you feel safe and comfortable, isn't it?). Everything was great until one day he decided to stop talking to me and left me without any explanation. I begged him to come back. I did everything I could to save the relationship, even if it meant to sacrifice my happiness and everything i had.

He didn't come back.

I harmed myself.

I started hurting myself more.

All to stop the pain.

It doesn't stop.



Please come back.

I need you.

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Hello! This is my first post. I honestly has never written anything before so this is new for me. Let me tell you a lil bit about myself. I am 18 and I'm currently residing in Jakarta, Indonesia. I love eating (hey, who doesn't?) and cooking (although I'm not really good at it lol). I also enjoy reading and making playlists on Spotify, which is my new hobby. This is my first playlist. It's depressing I know lol. Anyway, have a good day!