This past weekend was an absolute blast!

From setup, to serving all two full days to setting down - I can truly say that I enjoyed every bit of it.

Friday to Saturday Life Church hosted a mens conference called XCEL. And no, it doesn't have anything with spreadsheet to do. 1800 men came to our church, hungry for more of God, miracles and learning how to take the next step in their situation. Last year, I was serving somewhere I didn't get to see the fruit of what we did, but this year, I was right amongst all the volunteers, right amongst the men. After the last session on Saturday night I was at a stand called "Xcel 18" where you could sign up for next year. There were loads of guys who were so thankful for what our church put on, for what we had done for them. There was especially one guy, who came up to sign up for next year and he asked me how I was doing and how the conference had been through my perspective. Then he looked at me and said "Thank you for serving. Thank you for putting your weekend down to serve us". And sometimes, that's all you need to do conferences like these. Because even though it's been a lot to prepare, even though it's been a lot to do, it's been so worth it.

Seeing the salvations come through, seeing people get healed, finding freedom and just starting with a great new faith in Jesus, makes everything worth it. I'd do anything to make that happen.

So next year, if you are a guy, why don't you book in? It's an amazing opportunity to meet God again. To be shaken by his amazing love, to gather with 1000's of other men and just proclaim God's goodness!

BOOK IN HERE

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Luke 6:28

"bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

Matthew 5:44

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"

Today, with only a few words, someone handed me a small bag of chocolate for me and my team to enjoy. It was a simple act, yet so beautiful. It was easy for me to bless her, saying nice things about her and smiling when she did something nice for me. Let's continue to bless those who do good to us, but if we are going to be real, the challenge is not to do good to these kind of people. The difficulty is to keep doing good to people who mistreat us.

Think about the last person who did you wrong. Might've been something small like cut you off in traffic, or it might've been something really bad, like lying to you. I don't know what your story is, but I do know what the bible says about your story. It's difficult to even look at that person, I know. It's difficult to not speak about them, how they've been treating you wrong and complaining about them whenever they're not around. It's easy to simply just accept the fact that they're bad and that you're never going to be friends, but today I'm going to ask you something. I'm going to ask you to not that let that be the end. I'm going to ask you to LOVE the person that did you wrong.

That does not mean you are besties straight away again. That does not mean they don't have to take the conseqenses of their actions. But it does mean that you start blessing them in prayer. It does mean that you won't speak bad about them behind their back. That does mean you become the bigger person and won't sink as low as they did when they mistreated them. That means you forgive them even though they don't deserve it.

This is not to show them how great you are, and this is certainly not to get back to them in revenge. This is to remind your heart who you are in Christ. This is to show God that you are ready for new things. Trust me, this will change everything.

This summer I listened to this preach by Joel Osteen and I really felt like I got a deeper knowledge what it meant to bless your enemies. Have a listen if you want to change your ways and learn more about it.

​Thanks for reading x

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Church.

What's the definition of church?

If you google it, it's "a building used for public Christian worship."

But that's not what I see as a church. To me, church is not a building. Church is not a place, or a location.

Church is people. Church is a family where I can share my heart. Church is where I get closer to God and God's people.

There has been a lot of miscommunication what church is and what it's about. The rumour of church being a building has put off a lot of people. A thought might be, if I simply go to a church building, God will be happy with me. Then I'm alright, then I'm righteous. But what has a building to do with our relationship with Christ? What's the purpose behind entering a building?

The purpose of Church is to get people closer to Jesus. To equip and help people understand the value of being close to God. Church is about relationships. Relationship with God, but also, relationship with people. With new Christians, with people who has known God their whole life. When you are low on faith and doubting, someone else just had their miracle come through and can encourage you to stay strong in Christ. What would we be without our friends around us?

I didn't really bother to go to church on a Sunday. I mean hey, I go on Fridays with youth, that should be enough right? I had the greatest excuse as well, I was working Sunday mornings. Church seemed really boring, so why would I bother to go? But everything changed one easter when I sat down in our livingroom back in Sweden and for the first time the film -Passion of the Christ- was played in front of my eyes. My faith took a shift. Everything in my heart changed. Yes, before that film I was aware of that Jesus died on the cross for me, but I didn't know what it really meant for him. I still don't fully understand, but that film took me one step deeper to what it actually meant for Jesus to die on the cross for me. That made me see how selfish it was of me to not go to church on a Sunday because I thought it was boring. Jesus was tortured for my sake and I couldn't get out of bed to experience his love? Wow.

What church do you attend? How often do you go? I don't want to bring condemnation over anyone, because that is not of Christ, I simply want you to think about who is your church. Even if it's a small group of you who gather every week to talk about the bible or if you go every Sunday. Who's your church? Who can you talk about your faith to? I believe it is so important to have this in your world.

1 Corinthians 14:26

What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

You are all awesome and amazing.

Thanks for reading x

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There are many times in life where we seek guidence from God. What's the next step God? Where do you want me to go?

I know I was seeking God when I had to choose between going to Sweden and doing my 2nd Year. I was constantley asking God what the next step was and what was right. What did he want me to do? And one time I got a clear answer:

"Nellie, what do you want to do?"

Through that I learned a good lesson. Yes, God has a plan for our lives, and we can make terrible decisions that is not in line with God's plan for us. But God's blessing and his plan is not a thin path we have to stick on. It's not something we miss out on if we make the wrong decision. Doing a 2nd Year was a right choice. But staying in Sweden would have been one as well. The only difference is that my life looks completley different. You got the choice to create what you want to do and who you want to be. You get to create yourself.

Don't get me wrong, there's loads of things I could've done that wouldn't be the right choice and maybe not in line with God's plan. Moving to Greenland maybe wouldn't be the right thing to do, but I hope you get my point. When you stand in front of decisions, there's a possibility that both of the decisions is right, and that you simply get to choose. God's blessing it's not on the path you choose, it's on you. No matter where you go, and even if you choose to move to Greenland, God's blessing is on you. God's presence follows you wherever you go.

God will direct you. As a GPS voice directs you on the road, God's voice will direct you in life. He will always hold his hand over you and see you through. There's no reason to be anxious or worried about the future. If you got Jesus - you got everything you need.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

You know how you can make a wrong turn and the voice on the GPS so gently asks you to make a U-turn 24 times? God is the same. He never grows angry or annoyed because you keep making the same mistakes. He would lash out on you, he would never yell on you. He's like the GPS voice. Keeps telling you to go back to the right place, to his arms. Keeps calling you home, because he loves you. And He always directs your steps.

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[ 40 ]

[ Testimony Tuesday ]

My God is a funny God.

There's a lot of times in the bible when he is very serious and fights for our freedom, but he is indeed a funny God. There have been so many times he has just made me laugh, which is weird but also amazing. What I mean by weird is that he is the almighty God, who created the universe and he would still crack a joke for me to enjoy when I have a bad day. Ask God for a joke, I'm sure he will give you one!

Once I was praying and God told me something I was going to do far in the future. It really took me by surprise when he revealed something big that were about me in many, many years time. So I asked him why,

"God, how come you reveal this now? You usually wait until last minute to tell me stuff"

"Well, I know how you like to plan, so here you go"

"Awh, you really know me, don't you!"

"Well, I kinda created you"

It's not even a joke, but I still found myself laughing, having that conversation with God. He was not telling me a knock-knock joke, but he spoke to me like he was my friend. Brother. Father. He spoke to me like he just wanted to be with me. To prove how close he really is to me. He showed me another side of himself that day.

I think we sometimes have taken God too seriously. Sometimes he just wants some banter, some jokes. Give up some time today to have banter with God. See what joke he puts out there, maybe you'll fall on the floor laughing - who knows!


One of my favourite scriptures:

James 4:8

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.

If you decide that you want to have banter with God, God is going to give you banter. He loves you. Go for it.

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[ 39 ]

1 Timothy 6:17

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

There is a lot of things we can put our hope to. There is a lot which we can cling to and put the hope of our lives to. Some people choose their jobs. They choose to put their whole identity in their job, so when they get fired, their whole life falls apart. Some people put it in their partner. So when their partner dies or leaves them, they crumble. Some people choose religious leaders. But when some secrets is let out in the public, the whole church falls apart, because their leader falls.

Don't let this be you. Please.

We must learn to put our hope to the right thing, to put our lives on a stable foundation, making sure it will never fall or break. There is so much we can worship, and sometimes we don't even realise what we worship. Everything in this world will fail. You can't put your hope to a human, because after all - they're only human and they will fail. Put your hope to God. Put your everything to him, because his love never fails.

So, how do we do this? In our everyday, what does this look like?

We have to constantely remind ourselves what it means to put our hope to God. Turning our hearts to him is the most important thing. Reading scripture, praying out loud to him. Have you ever read your bible out loud? It's incredibly powerful! Search his kingdom, what more can you learn? Is there a bible person you've never even heard about? What was Nehemiah up to? Who is Ruth? Go deep, search his word and remind yourself that God is the hope of this world. If you start to put your hope to him, you will inspire even more people to do so. Get ready for the adventure of your life together with God. Put your hope to him, put your trust in him. 

And you will suddenly realise that everything has changed.

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[ 38 ]


I have heard a lot of preaches throughout my Christian life. Extremly good ones and some that wasn't perfect. I have heard preaches that didn't even have a point. Some of them has been that bad. But when people ask me if there's any specific preaches I remember, there's always one I think back to. It is a special one which really struck my heart. If I'm not wrong it was at camp 2015 and one of the leaders talked about being a fool for Jesus. I will give you a little recap what it was about.

He told us about a meeting he attended. He was in the middle of worship when all of a sudden he got the sense that God was telling him something. He got the sense that God told him about a guy named Rolf (not entirely sure it was this name) and that he was suppose to tell a girl about this guy. He thought it was weird and pushed the thought away and continued to worship. But he couldn't get it out of his head. This name kept ringing in his head, so finally he made his way over to this girl and he told her about this Rolf-guy. Funny story: She didn't know anyone named Rolf, but still thanked him for coming up to her. "Nevermind then", he thought and went back to his seat to continue worship. But another thought came towards him. This time it was Rolf again, but this time with a moustache. No. That's too weird God, you can't force me to go and tell someone about "Rolf with a moustache." But same thing, he couldn't get it out of his mind so he went over to the girl again, embarrassed and asked if it rang a bell with Rolf and a moustache. But of course, she still didn't know any Rolf. Not even one with a moustache. Extremly embarrassed, he went back to his seat, a bit furious with God for making him look like a complete fool.

A few months went by and at a conference he met the same girl again. As a joke, he brought up the time he had mentioned this moustache Rolf - guy. She laughed and then told him the most amazing story. On her way home from that particular night, she had realised she did indeed know a guy named Rolf with a moustache and had to call him about something. When she had called him, something amazing happened. I can't remember what, but I'm sure it was a God set-up.


The point with this story is that we should be able to be fool's for Jesus. After that preach I was sure that I would do anything for God. I wouldn't care if it made me look bad or if I seemed weird, if Jesus wanted me to do something, I would do it. He works in mysterious ways, and what may seem to make no sense to us, might make sense in ten years time. After all, he is an all-knowing God who is mighty. And He loves to use us in the weirdest of ways. Are you ready to be a fool for Jesus?

Come on!

1 Corinthians 4:10

We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored!

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​[ 37 ]

The other day something really small yet significant happened.

I was stood in the car park of church, on a busy Sunday, waving cars in. My hands were full of radios, phone and a red wand we use to wave to cars. I was really doing my own things until someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and there was a man I'd never seen before. All he did was saying:

"You have a really nice smile" and then he left. I barely had a chance to thank him for it before he was gone. It was such a brief moment and literally 2 seconds, but it meant something. I jokingly told people about it, radioed the other people saying "this weird guy just told me this", but on the inside I really appreciated it. It really made my day.

What can you do?

Who can receive an act of kindness from you today? Who can you encourage? Even if it's really blunt and honest, who can you bless? 

Go do iiiiit

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​[ 36 ]

Studies have shown that if you add up the wage of the 5 closest people to you, the truth is - your wage is probably gonna be like theirs in 10 years time. That's how much your friends affect you.

You know they say that you are what you eat. If you eat trash - you'll feel like trash. I think that saying is more applicable to who you hang with. You are going to turn out like the people you spend your time with. If your best mate loves Mcdonalds, you're probably going to find yourself in McDonalds a lot. If your friend loves to discuss faith and different bible verses - you're probably gonna find yourself reading God's word a lot more. I'm not meaning McDonalds is incredibly bad and you should never ever go there, just that compared to the bible it just does nothing for you really.

Make a list of your closest people. What are their habits? What are you habits?

Make a note of where you want to be in five years. Does it match with your people?

Know your circles.

Jesus was very intentional with who he had around himself. He would dine with the sinners, he would make sure he included everyone, but the circle around him, the 12 disciples, he chose carefully. It was none of the disciples that just tagged along for fun, they were all carefully chosen by Jesus. 

Make sure you stick around the best people in your world and invest in people who needs it. You can do it. 

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[ 35 ]

There are a number of spiritual disciplines we can practise through our christian journey. A lot of them are obvious, things we do every day, sometimes without thinking about it. Those can be praying, reading the bible etc. they just happen because we are hungry for more of God, we want more of him, and if that's a reality, these things will happen of its own.

But there are others that takes a bit more discipline. There are others where you have to stand your ground and really show Jesus you are all about him. One of these are fasting. Whenever fasting is brought up, a lot of people look at it as in something unhealthy, something that is too extreme to go about. We have been programmed to think that we are starving if we don't have our three meals a day with snacks in between, but that's not the truth. We have to drink water, we have to breathe and we have to sleep. But we can last 40 days without any food whatsoever. If you go one or three days without food, your stomach might tell you that you're starving, but the reality is not the same.

Jesus didn't say if you fast, or if you are comfortable fasting, he said "when" (Matthew 6:16) you fast. He's making an assumption that all people will fast for his kingdom, not if we feel like it or not.

But please don't go straight into a fast after this. You have to make sure you are doing it for the right cause. Make sure you have established some answers to the following questions. Make sure you are doing it to get closer to God, to show him that all you need is him, instead of doing because of some other reasons. A lot of people fast these days for benefits with health, or to loose weight. Make sure you know why you are doing it. Make sure you keep it real. Make sure you keep it close to God.

1. Why am I fasting?

2. What will I do instead of cooking/eating/shopping for food?

3. Is there anything special I want to hear from God during this time?

4. How often would I like to fast?

Start off easy. Try one day. Don't throw yourself into a long fast if you've never fasted before. Keep it real. Don't tell everyone about your fast, like the pharisees did in the bible. (Matthew 6:16) When people get impressed, that's your reward. But if you do it privately with God, you're collecting great rewards in heaven. Keep it strong, keep going.

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[ 34 ]

Jesus likes to remind me to breathe with him. I am still figuring out exactly what it means, but I've noticed something that happens when I do.

When I breathe with Jesus, it's like everything slows down.

When I breathe with Him, all my senses get calm.

When I breathe with the Son of the living God, nothing seems as important as that.

God doesn't want us stressing out, chasing small things and running around. He wants us in control, he wants us to trust him and let him do his work in us. It's really that simple, or if you'd like - that complicated.

Today in worship, I simply took a deep breath, and everything heavy inside of me just floated off. It was amazing. I like to think it as I'm breathing in more of Jesus and exhaling everything that's not him.

Make sure you breathe today. Breathe with Jesus.

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find your rest for your souls."

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[ 33 ]

Been raised in church, I have heard a lot of stuff that I should do. I should get involved in serving, I should read my bible every day, I should know all of the worship songs, I should raise my hands, I should, I should and I should... There's a lot of expectations sometimes and I have felt drained occasionally of what I should do. Well here's some news for you: you don't have to do a thing.

People look to actions, but GOD looks to the heart. God doesn't want you to do a billion things for him, all he wants is to be with you. He just wants to spend time with you. Think about it as if you were hanging out with a friend. You wouldn't want them to feel forced to be there, and forced to read the amazing book you wrote. You'd want them to want to be with you. God just wants to be with you, and love you!

If you're a worship leader and struggling to find songs that are good enough every Sunday - relax. God is not depending on your songs, He's depending on your heart. It's not like God will go "Oh that song? Nah, lyrics are too bad, can't do anything whilse you're playing this one". I just want to ease out the pressure. God doesn't care, all he wants is US.

There's a great song called "A little longer" which sings about this. That we constantly look away from God because of everything we have to do and prepare. We think we have to do so much so he'll love us, but the truth is, he has always loved us, no matter what we have done and not done. Let that sink into your heart. Just relax with that God wants YOU, not your achievements.

1 Samuel 16:7

[ But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. ]

If you have seen High School Musical 3, please imagine God singing "I just wanna be with you" right now. Truth and it's hilarious. "No matter where life takes us, nothing can break us apaaart, (you know it's true) I just wanna be with you"

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[ Testimony Tuesday ]

[ 32 ]

Matthew 7:7

[ Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ]

I know I've recently written about this subject, but I want to bring it up again. This is Testimony Tuesday, and I want to share something that I received by just asking. 

When I was home for Christmas last year I made my mind clear of a couple of things. Like I've put in another post, I really wanted a job and I got that. But another one was a bit more challenging. I wanted to preach to someone. I didn't care where or what it was, but I wanted to preach to more than 5 people. That was the goal, the expectation. I knew that I am designed to preach God's word, so I made myself ask God to step out and preach to someone.

The 2nd week we were back in College they announced our assignments, one of them being giving a spoken word for 10 minutes. When I heard the news, I looked to God and said 'thank you', with adrenaline in my heart, because that's what happens when I get up on stage. 

So the day came and I delivered my word, shaking, but trying to convince the audience I was confident. I did a great job. I stood there, delivered what I thought God wanted me to say. It was amazing. Even though I was shaking, I know God looked down on me and smiled as I took another step out of my comfort-zone, and closer to all that he has called me to be. 

God listens to what you ask of him. Make sure you ask for wisdom, opportunities, for new things, maybe for a girlfriend? What do I know. Get out there, stretch, go for God's kingdom and love on everyone you meet. 

Thanks for reading.

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[ 31 ]

The bible is full of God's promises. Full of great visions and promises, that he will keep us secure and favoured in his presence. But something I've made a mistake of, and I think a lot of others have made a mistake of is that we think God keeps our promises as well. Let me explain.

I've very often put down stuff in front of God, saying "Can you please fix this before Christmas, thanks", like God is some kind of source which will fix everything coming our way. That's not really how it works. That's a promise you make God take on, that's not a promise from God. There's a huge difference. We often ask God to take onto some kind of promise, and get heavly dissapointed when he doesn't tick the boxes we created. But he never promised to stick to your every command. He never promised to do everything you asked him to. He promised to stay to His promises. To what He has commanded, and said he would do.

[ Deuteronomy 7:9 ]

[ "Know therefore that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments;" ]

Keep asking God for stuff, but be well aware of that He has only promised to keep his promises and not yours. Read the scriptures about everything He has promised you. It's beautiful!

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[ 30 ]

[ Proverbs 4:23 ]

[ Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it ]

Read that again. "Above all else". Beyond everything else, look at your heart. What does it look like? Because everything flows from it. Your language flows from your heart. Your actions flows from your heart. Your thoughts flows from your heart. Make sure you guard your heart.

Okay great Nellie, but exactly how do I guard my heart?

One of the most famous and absolute best ways to guard your heart is by filling it with love. Fill it with reading God's word. Even though you don't understand a word you're reading sometimes, it changes your heart as you spend time reading the love letter your saviour has given you. Pray, spend time with God. He has the best heart, and if we want to be like him we have to spend time with him. We become like the ones we spend time with. Guard your heart by taking thoughts captive. When you notice bad thoughts hitting your head, and you are thinking things you don't really want to think. Stop what you're doing and just tell them to go somewhere else. Demand those bad thoughts to leave your mind and focus on God. Focus on what he has for you today.

You got this. You and your heart, you got this.

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[ 29 ]

[ 1 Timothy 4:12 ]

[ Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. ]

This is an amazing scripture. This is yet another way of God calling you. One of the many excuses for us not to go when God calls us is that we are too young. You might be sat there, thinking "I'm only 16? What does he want me to do in this big world?". Well let me tell you; he wants to prepare you for the rest of your life right now. He has so much in store for you, and he's just waiting for you to get going. Don't hide behind the fact that you're young.

I have struggled with this. Being the youngest of 5, and constantly being the youngest in school, I've always thought of myself as small, not really making a difference. I'm young, who would listen to me? (Well, everyone!) It doesn't matter who we are, it's how and what we say that matters. My last year in secondary high school, I finally stepped up and spoke about stuff I knew was important. But that was because I finally was one of the oldest. It's so important to not see yourself as little just because of when you were born.

Step up - step out.

If God is for you what can be against you?

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Please excuse the lack of posts the past days.

[ 28 ]

Matthew 18:19-20

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

This is an amazing scripture. This is one of God's greatest promises, but it might be confusing as well. It makes me ask a question. The last sentence, "there am I with them", what does he mean with that? Isn't he always with us? Never leaves us or forsakes us? Would he run away if there wasn't two of us gathered in his name?

No of course not! God is always with us (Joshua 1:9, Matthew 28:20, Revelation 21:3 Psalm 23:4), no matter what is happening in our lives, God is with us and for us. He never leaves us. So what's the meaning behind this scripture? Why is it so significant that God is with us "extra much" when there's two of us?

The reason for it, is there's power in unity. When we share our burden with each other, when we stand together with something, it becomes more powerful than when one pray alone. When we turn to God with unity, when we raise our worries and concerns to him together, he takes it into his arms and he moves in our hearts. Of course he does this when we're alone as well, but there's a significant power in unity.

When I went home over Christmas last year, I didn't want to go back to England. I really felt like staying in Sweden. I didn't like my job and I just felt alone whenever I was in England. But my last night in, me and Joakim sat down and we prayed for the rest of my year. We prayed for a job where I would meet people, get great coworkers and do something I actually enjoyed. Two months later I got the right job of that description. The year turned out great, and I got my best friend Lydia. There's power in prayer when there's two of you, so stand together. I know this works from experience.

Talk to someone your trust about your worries. What is coming up next, is there something you're thinking about?

Pray together. God will move in your hearts. God is on your side.


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[ 27 ]

We are encouraged to dream all the time. Famous quotes are "DREAM BIG" and "Never give up on your Dreams!". This is all very good, and very encouraging to believe that you can do whatever you put your mind to, but there has to be something else to it. You can dream big your whole life without getting anywhere. If you only put your mind to dream you won't get very far, but if you put your mind to ACHIEVE, you'll get far.

Let me clarify this, let your heart dream, let it imagine where you want to go, but make sure you don't stay there. Make sure you get further than that. Get going, set goals to get yourself to that position.

Let's say you want to become a great singer. God has blessed you with a unique and incredible voice and you want to be known across the world, spreading his kingdom through singing. Great, that's amazing - you have a dream. Now, what are you doing to make it come true? What steps are you taking today to make sure that's your future in a couple of years? Sometimes we need to challenge ourselves and break it down to practicals to get us going. Could you get lessons? Try different techniques? Learn difficult song, practise? Introduce yourself to someone who's a producer! Surround yourself with people who are going to get you where you are.

There's so much you can do, if you put your mind to it.

Believe it - and achieve it.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Come on! God is on your side - get going.

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[ Testimony Tuesday ]

[ 26 ]

What I'm writing about today is something I am still struggling through. It is something God reminded me of as late as a few hours ago. It's something that I can't wrap my head around and because of that I tend to fight it, and I have a hard time accepting it.

Today I'm writing about my journey of understanding how much God really loves me.

This Sunday our senior pastor Charlotte Gambill was speaking about fighting the right fight. How we so often put our focus on the wrong instead of the right fight. We put a lot of energy into fighting the fights we don't need to fight. As the worship band was about to get on, God showed me an amazing picture of what my life has been like the past years. He showed me that I've been walking on a path, just strolling through the path and been okay with my surroundings. I've not been complaining, but I haven't been praising him either. Things has not been ideal - but it has been alright. I've always thought God was above and slightly behind me, looking after me, just watching me, making sure I was alright. But today God showed me a completely different perspective of how his love took action in my life. God hasn't been behind me, he couldn't be, he's been too busy to do that. He has been too busy kicking down sicknesses, fighting back strongholds, pushing back addictions and constantly rescuing me from the enemy. It's like there has been a rain of daggers thrown at me and God has saved me from every single one. When I thought he wasn't even bothered to listen to my prayers, he has constantly been keeping his hand over me, saving me from all kinds of things I can't even imagine. All of this without me even being aware of it. All of this, with me complaining, not understanding what he's going through to keep me where I am.

Today God showed me another side of how he loves me. He showed me a side of how he has fought for me all of my life - all the way through getting me from a road when a truck was driving towards me, until today. The devil has tried to kill me more than once, and it's a blessing to be where I am at the moment.

Knowing this, it makes it a bit easier to understand how and what ways God really loves us. He doesn't quit on us, he never gives us up, he's never resting, he looks out for us and he listens to us. There's nothing he wouldn't do for us. When will we realise how pure and amazing his love is?

The amazing story behind this picture is that it doesn't only go for me. It goes for everyone. God has protected you from loads of stuff - even though you might feel like you've gone through hell and back, imagine what the Lord has kept you from. We will never know, and we will never see what could've been. But remember that God keeps his eyes on you and that he will never give up on you.

He has just kept showing me ways he loves me this week and I'm crying every single time because hey, it's me. I cry when God speaks to me. Wrapping your mind around God's love is an impossible task. But that's also what's so utterly amazing about it.

Have a blessed week, hope you enjoyed reading this.

oh the overwhelming

never ending

reckless love of god

it chases me down

fights til i'm found

leaves the 99

i couldn't earn it

i don't deserve it

still you gave your life for me

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It's easy to worship God when everything is great. It's easy to worship him when life is all good and he just gave you that promotion you wanted. But it's a whole other deal to worship him when you're sick. When you have to walk through the rain. When all your money is gone. When someone you used to be close with just shuts you off.

God is good all the time and he deserves to be praised at all times. Let's not forget that.

Today, I went through a hard time. Some things happened at work and I felt really down. I was really expectant of things going my way, God had even asked me the night before what I wanted, so today I thought I would get it for him. Turned out it was the opposite. It has been a rough day, but even though I feel like cuddling under my duvet, crying in self-pity, I won't. Because there is not reason for me to feel any pity for myself. I live in a beautiful house, I go to college every day, I get to worship my God without having to keep it a secret. I have an amazing boyfriend, I have an amazing family. I have money left over after every month. I am healthy, I am strong and I'm surrounded by amazing people.

It's so easy to see one situation in your life and think that everything is miserable. But hey, it's not. Looking at the bigger picture, I have a dream life. There is so many people who would give anything to have what I have. So instead of focusing on that little thing (yes 'pity-Nellie' it's a small thing) I will just turn my eyes to my heavenly father and thank him for everything he's doing in my life at the moment. Thank him for being so good to me. Thanking him that he has a plan even though I can't always see it. He's amazing.

Thanks for reading.

[ John 16:33 ]

[ I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. ]

[ 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ]

[ Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ]

[ John 10:10 ]

[ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. ]

Let your prayer be that even if you don't understand what your circumstances mean, know that God is with you through it all, and he still has his hand over everything. He is always worthy of all praise, even when it seems like the world is crashing down.

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