For people who have long since incorporated coffee into our daily routine, it can be incredibly hard and just plain out frightening to picture a day where we can't have our coffee. I mean, coffee is one of our primary sources of energy – our engines just aren't properly fueled without it, right? Right. It turns us from groggy, angry morning monsters into pleasant human beings capable of socializing with other human beings.
While all of this may be true, how do you know when your coffee addiction spirals out of control, pushing you into the classification of a full blown coffeeholic? Check out these ten tell-tale signs you may want to consider making the switch to decaf.
#1- You have an informed, personal opinion on every coffee option available at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. You've even tried all the options on those secret menus, concocted strange flavor combinations, and could probably make every single one of those specialty drinks on your own.
#2- Your caffeine tolerance? Sky high. While other people would be throwing up or having some kind of weird jittery anxiety attack, you're still calmly sipping your brew. One pot a day? Two? Eh, that's average. But what about those really weird dreams you sometimes have? Is that a coincidence, or a coffeeholic consequence?
#3- Even bad coffee is good coffee, or at least it's better than no coffee. Anything is better than no coffee, in fact, and you're even willing to grab a cup of the stuff from that shady gas station down the street if necessary.
#4- When you find out someone doesn't drink coffee, you get this surreal twilight zone feeling. How on earth are they able to survive their day? How many naps must they have to take? What in the world is wrong with them?
#5- Decaf is a stranger. It's forbidden, and you swear it's not real coffee. When decaf is the only option, you feel as though there are actually no options. Then you start this weird thought process where you ponder the placebo effect and wonder if you convince yourself hard that it is real coffee, will it even work? Probably not, but sometimes you might just be desperate enough to try.
#6- You pick your BFF as the individual who just offered you a cup of coffee, or asked you out on a coffee date. It's like they've connected with your very soul.
#7- Every coffee accessory known to man, yeah, you own that. From a quality grinder to an espresso maker, French press to a Keurig, it's in your kitchen right now. In fact, you've become fairly certain you could turn your kitchen into a full-service coffee shop without even trying.
#8- All it takes to ruin your entire day is to forget your coffee somewhere by mistake, or accidentally spill it. It's literally the worst thing ever, and you just can't stop thinking about it... especially when there is no way to make a new one.
#9- Your local baristas know you by name, and they're fairly aware that they are basically your drug dealers. They line up those espresso shots the second you walk in the door, and start to practice all the right things to say. You're a morning monster before your coffee, after all, and a person who needs their fix can be unpredictable.
#10- While some people visit museums or ethnic restaurants, your favorite tourist attractions are coffee shops. There isn't even a real reason to be so obsessed with coffee shops, but then, is there a solid reason to be so obsessed with coffee? Probably not, but you don't really care, either.
Let's just end here by saying cheers to all you coffeeholics out there! I hope every cup fills you with the energy you need to complete your day, and for everyone who crosses your path, I hope the brew keeps your attitude positive and spirits high!