So the time has moved forward an hour now, it's nice to have the sun "stay up" longer in the evenings but GOD am I tired. It changed yesterday, I'm not really used to it yet so quite frankly I'm just exauhsted. Easter break has also come to an end, which means it was back to school again today, I'm feeling quite stressed and can't seem to concentrate AT ALL. I really need to study because I have an exam the day after tomorrow and I'm behind in maths, I also have a essay thing to do in chemistry due to that I should have studied all this week but never got round to it (C'MON it was easter holidays!).
I'm trying to stay positive and not let the stress take over but it is haarrdd. I've been particularly anxious the past week which normally doesn't happen to me. Usually a wave of anxiety/angst washes over me and I feel really horrible for a little while (at the very most half an hour) and afterwards it just disappears, but this week I have felt the same feeling I can get at times - constantly. It isnt at all the same "strenght" of feeling, its just a little but whatever I do, wherever I am, whoever I'm with, something in the back of my head is making me worry, have a nervous tummy ache - like butterflies, but in a bad way if that makes sense - it's an uncomfortable feeling but I can deal with it, it isnt overpowering, just really annoying to always feel that way when there is no reason to.
To be honest I'm not quite sure what it is and I feel a bit weird writing anxiety because I see how tuff it is for people with quite severe anxiety and I don't want to go around using the term when I might just be a bit stressed. Personally I do feel like it's more than just stress but I dont know what feeling it is.. I just feel horrid and really weird, I just wanna cuddle up in bed and stay there all week, not meet anybody or go anywhere. I CAN go out so it isn't like I actually can't leave the house, but I really dont want to, which now when I'm writing it just sounds like a lazy teenager but oh well, I really can't explain it.
I feel much better just writing this now, writing down how you feel - even if its very short and brief - can really help you feel alot better. A specific incident doesn't have to have happened, you might just be feeling a bit tired and down that day/moment in time, you could be insecure about what you're wearing that afternoon or you mught be dealing with deeper issues, writing down how you feel can really make a difference.
That's all from me now, I have a pizza and a cup of tea waiting for me...