So, I've been thinking. What the fuck is love? I mean its one very confusing matter. There are songs about it, paintings, poems, every form of art tries to grab the meaning. Get behind it.

Just the other day I went on a date... sort of. (Does anyone ever now if its a date or not?) The conversation was flowing, the laughter was there, but something just wasn't right. Were we too alike or maybe too different.. I am not quite sure. Maybe we just weren't compatible.

However it got me thinking. My definition of love has for a while just been me chasing boys who won't ever going to love me. That was the normal state of mine, up until some time. So naturally I just don't know how to behave when people do actually like me and show some kind of affection. I try and fall back into my old patterns. You know, the obsessive, desperate girl who isn't getting any of that love any time soon. I try to look for faults in them. You have to know about me though, that I love to stand in the centre of attention. No question.

I have heard that the behaviour of mine can be explained and it is actually quite common. From a young age we develop a sense of love. How we perceive the love we receive. Mostly of course from our parents, because at that point of time they are our main source of love. So when we feel like being treated poorly is the only way of getting any love that is the love we think we deserve (So, yeah the quote from ´´perks o being a wallflower´´ had a point) (Also my parents are like the best, so idk how that picture came to mind)

So later in our lives we seek for the same love we are used to, the shitty people, the fuckboys, that isn't scary, it isn't new but it sure is self-destructive.

So I need to seriously reconsider my definition of love and being loved. Wish me luck. I know I can do it, and so can you! Let's do it together and get the love we truly deserve.



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Hello!

My first post ever! Right now I am trying to figure out how this all works and listening to Håkan. Soo good.

Anyways I should present myself. I am a girl who loves to fight for equality and is constantly trying to find her true self, gong through this endless process called life.

My mom always said that I should start a blog, but I guess I always had the fear that people would not like the things I do or write. However today we had a guest, who is staying for a couple of days, she suggested me to just go for it and I thought: "Yes, let`s give this a try!" I mean there is not a lot, that could possibly go wrong, is it? Well unless I make a fool out of myself or offend anybody in any kind of way, but that is usually something I try to avoid. Who knows maybe one day I`ll be looking back and smiling at that day where I got my lazy ass off the bed and finally started what I always wanted to. Maybe I will like this so much that I will continue with it for a long period. As you may have noticed I go with the flow of my thoughts. So back to me.

I love,love,love music, including listening and making music myself as well.

I love to write and read, mostly realistic scenarios. Things that make me think deeper than I normally would. Speaking of thinking I think a hole load of thoughts, which can get me into trouble with myself sometimes. I have to admit that so far I am having fun.

Listening to Adele right now. Rolling in the deep. She is so real, so down-to-earth and soo funny. The concert was so good. No words. Will always be remembered, forever. She sounds so good live and she is a decent entertainer as well. Oh god I love her so much. So many feelings that day. I also remember the competition I`ve been to in which I sang that song. Big mistake.Why? First of all:You will never be or sound as good as her. Secondly: Everybody knows how her original version sounds, which makes it even harder to reach up to that perfection. But hey I was part of the competition and the judges actually said that I have potential in my voice, so that was nice:)

I think that was enough for the first day! Have a great day! Enjoy your life wherever and whenever you can. Appreciate those little moments of joy and you will be charged for the whole day!

Au revoir mon ami!


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