There are existential needs that we can't live without, such as water, food, air. But there are things that we think we need, but they are truly not that necessary. Social medias, many internet friends, idols, fandoms.. We think that's the meaning of happy, good and basic life.
4 and half months ago, I thought it is. Then I deleted my twitter app, with the following expectations:
1) I want to get over my depression completely.
2) I want my relationships with friends and family to be in real life.
3) I want to live my present in the best way.
4) I want to be focused and as less stressed as possible.
5) I want to find out who I am and how I can fulfill myself.
It was hard. I felt committed to my internet friends, I was obsessed with social medias, I was very known in my fandom. Social medias made me someone, and deleting them = deleting me.
But I truly believed that I'm doing the right thing. Because when I "forgot" my phone home in a family trip, I enjoyed the trip the most.When I drew someone and didn't share it, my drawing felt more like mine. To stop, or at least reduce the addicted Moran from social medias, wouldn't do any bad.
I've changed a lot ever since I deleted the twitter app.
1) I found out that there are 24 hours a day. I sleep well, study well, breathe well. I FULFILL time, not "kill" it by sitting and scrolling for hours.
2) I got over my depression. I'm 99% happy, and the 1% of sad is because I'm human and we all have legitimate problems.
3) I don't have any commitments to anyone – not thousands of people or any idols. I'm free. All by myself.
4) I go to my nieces and nephews a lot, just like that. I love them. I give them more time. We love it.
5) I'm not multitasking. You talk to me, I'm with you. Not talking to many people at the same time, scrolling or playing.
6) I found out many new things about myself. I love to study. I can break my grades records. I love mind games. I know what the kind of thing I'd like to do when I'm older is. I can cook. I love to help. And on and on…
7) I don't feel the urge to draw and update all the time. I can draw without sharing.
I can keep counting these benefits for hours. In short, I'm happy, calmed and satisfied.
There's just one disadvantage. I love people, I really do. And I love my internet friends - we befriended for a reason. But we are not in touch anymore. I'm in touch only with two or three, barely.
I guess that some of us have less mutual interests and less mutual topics to talk about, but it's not completely because of that. It's mostly because I have no time at all. I might be less stressed thanks to spending less time on social medias, but I'm still busy busy busy. When I find time for myself.. can't remember the last time I even had that.
I apologize, you are wonderful, I promise you. It's nothing personal against you. It's just me who has no time and finds it better to focus on real life instead of social medias.
Some of you may say that I'm exaggerating and doing a wrong thing. But I believe in living in real life. I want to be more than just a profile online, and I feel better by doing my best to reach that. And I highly recommend on spending less time on social medias, looking at yourself, realizing who you are and going for it. For you. You'll feel better.
But anyways, tell me how you've been doing lately. Tell me stories, I love stories, and I'm praying you're doing fine.
Many hugs and kisses,