There are existential needs that we can't live without, such as water, food, air. But there are things that we think we need, but they are truly not that necessary. Social medias, many internet friends, idols, fandoms.. We think that's the meaning of happy, good and basic life.
4 and half months ago, I thought it is. Then I deleted my twitter app, with the following expectations:
1) I want to get over my depression completely.
2) I want my relationships with friends and family to be in real life.
3) I want to live my present in the best way.
4) I want to be focused and as less stressed as possible.
5) I want to find out who I am and how I can fulfill myself.
It was hard. I felt committed to my internet friends, I was obsessed with social medias, I was very known in my fandom. Social medias made me someone, and deleting them = deleting me.
But I truly believed that I'm doing the right thing. Because when I "forgot" my phone home in a family trip, I enjoyed the trip the most.When I drew someone and didn't share it, my drawing felt more like mine. To stop, or at least reduce the addicted Moran from social medias, wouldn't do any bad.
I've changed a lot ever since I deleted the twitter app.
1) I found out that there are 24 hours a day. I sleep well, study well, breathe well. I FULFILL time, not "kill" it by sitting and scrolling for hours.
2) I got over my depression. I'm 99% happy, and the 1% of sad is because I'm human and we all have legitimate problems.
3) I don't have any commitments to anyone – not thousands of people or any idols. I'm free. All by myself.
4) I go to my nieces and nephews a lot, just like that. I love them. I give them more time. We love it.
5) I'm not multitasking. You talk to me, I'm with you. Not talking to many people at the same time, scrolling or playing.
6) I found out many new things about myself. I love to study. I can break my grades records. I love mind games. I know what the kind of thing I'd like to do when I'm older is. I can cook. I love to help. And on and on…
7) I don't feel the urge to draw and update all the time. I can draw without sharing.

I can keep counting these benefits for hours. In short, I'm happy, calmed and satisfied.
There's just one disadvantage. I love people, I really do. And I love my internet friends - we befriended for a reason. But we are not in touch anymore. I'm in touch only with two or three, barely.
I guess that some of us have less mutual interests and less mutual topics to talk about, but it's not completely because of that. It's mostly because I have no time at all. I might be less stressed thanks to spending less time on social medias, but I'm still busy busy busy. When I find time for myself.. can't remember the last time I even had that.
I apologize, you are wonderful, I promise you. It's nothing personal against you. It's just me who has no time and finds it better to focus on real life instead of social medias.
Some of you may say that I'm exaggerating and doing a wrong thing. But I believe in living in real life. I want to be more than just a profile online, and I feel better by doing my best to reach that. And I highly recommend on spending less time on social medias, looking at yourself, realizing who you are and going for it. For you. You'll feel better.
But anyways, tell me how you've been doing lately. Tell me stories, I love stories, and I'm praying you're doing fine.

Many hugs and kisses,

Moran

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I'm sitting here in the bus, driving in the middle of town, passing through crowded streets.

There are so many kinds of people. Different faces. Different names. Different life stories.
​I could stop them all and ask each one where he or she got their shoes from. And the shirt..
​How often do you cut your hair?
​Who was the last person you talked to, and who is the one that matters the most?
​What's your favorite kind of music?
​Are you in love?
​What's your favorite color?
​Where were you born and what languages do you speak?
​What's your religion?  What's your job, what are your interests?
​What are you good at? What do you wish you could do better? 

What's your goal? What's your purpose? Why do you believe that you exist? 

Each one would give totally different answers. Because we are all different.

Beautiful, isn't it? 

But maybe asking so many questions would feel like an investigation. So I have only one question I want to ask. 

At this point of your life, what advice would you give to people?

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Being an artist taught me 2 things:
1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2. Beauty is everywhere.
S
ounds like a contradiction,right?
Well, not exactly.
Beauty is everywhere: it's a fact.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder: it all depends on you.
You choose if to look at it or be blind. You choose if you appreciate it or underestimate it.
It all starts and ends with you.
But personally, I hate, hate, hate the judgmental eye. I hate the words"less" or "worse". Let alone "ugly".
Everything is beautiful the way it is. It's not less or more. It just is. It's your choice in what perspective you choose to look at it. But don't make your own opinion a fact.

Shea Glover made a project. She went to people in her school and said "I'm taking pictures of things I find beautiful".
She went to so many different teenagers who had different and interesting reactions. Some just laughed. Some smiled. Some felt embarrassed, some felt flattered. Some thought she's joking.
It makes me sad that people don't believe that they're beautiful. They don't  tell it to themselves, and when others do, they think it's a joke.
Got a compliment? Take it. It's yours. It's true. Believe it.
When I watched this video, I saw beauty overload. Everyone there was  stunning. And their smiles were beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW8BDgLpZkI

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That someone who sits alone in food break.
That someone who walks alone in the path on trips.
That someone who no one wants to sit next to on the bus.
Maybe that someone has friends. But that someone is not enough.
Second chance. Sometimes third.
Never enough.
Sorry, this seat is taken.
Sorry, we're already a pair.
Sorry, I gotta go.
Is it okay if I move a seat?
Are you sure it's okay?
Sure?
Yes, it is.
I got used to it.
The earphones are pushed hard to my ears. The music on full blast.
I found a way to deal with it myself.
Found a lonely hobby.
Myself.
I escaped.
Found myself a company.
In this seat there are me, myself and I.
Maybe alone isn't lonely anymore.

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I'm not sure I have an official opinion because it's case by case and full of many theories. But I do believe that talent has no age and you can do better than you think.
​People are impressed by little kids for reaching high notes, by teen artists who draw like pros, by little dancers who can dance so well.. It is a compliment, and we take it as a compliment.
​But something in the statements "wow, she sings well for a girl in her age" or "wow, when I saw your drawings I thought you're 30!" is not really accurate.
​I know I'm better than some old artists and less than some artists in my age. But it has nothing to do about age. It's only about how you use your time. Talent is about developing, not about growing. If you have 100 hours and you dedicate 2 hours, of course someone else who has the exact same 100 hours and used 50 of them will do better. It's about practicing, hard working >> improving, developing. Though I have to admit, it comes easier to some people.
​As I said, yes, it IS a compliment. But why is "old" = "capable" and "young" = "miracle"? Explain it to me. It's not a minor detail for me. I question it, I want to know.
​About natural talent - I don't really believe in that thing. But I do believe that every person has orientations. It's for characteristics, sexuality, and also talents. Languages might be more comfortable to you than math, or the opposite, and it's okay. It's easier to develop something you like and feel good at.
​But just because you're bad at a thing, doesn't mean it's totally impossible for you. If you can't reach the pro level, you can at least improve and get better than what you are now.
​I sing very off AND my voice is annoying. I can say I'm bad at singing. My voice might not change, but I can improve my vocals. It only depends on me if I want to do it and ready to make an effort.
​It's not ALL in your mind. You can't beat the boxing world champion and claim that "my spirit is high, I got a chance". You're not able to do anything. There are some blocks you can't control, but you can do your most. Proportions. But with high spirit, faith and the right attitude, you can prove yourself you can do better than you thought.
​Do you know the 10,000 hours theory? It's the time it takes to become a pro at something. Play a piano for 10,000 hours - you'll reach the highest level. Draw for 10,000 hours - you'll reach the highest drawing level. Practice math for 10,000 hours - you will become a professional mathematician.
​The first hours I got to draw in my life were really uncomfortable. In a rough calculation, I reached at least 2,500 hours till now, and it's very comfortable, it flows.
​I'm bad at dancing. I can complain about it for hours, but the truth is, I've never danced or ever was in shape. If I dedicate time for dancing, I'll surely get better.
​Don't complain you're bad at something if you have never even tried/ you just started. The beginning is the hardest. Well, the progress is also hard. But when you love what you do, "hard" is not a barrier. You accept the difficulties, and you learn. You fall in love with what you do, and it's an amazing feeling.

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