Hallå kompisar!! - Hello friends!
I'm sorry for the lack of posts, I've been busy again with life and everything that has to do with life. Work is going fine and I find myself satisfied with the work I do everyday. Of course it's not always fun whenever there's a customer who calls and their attitude i the worst. Their mind are set on being angry and when I try to help them with all I got they're just not friendly towards me. I had a customer who called week and first I answered the phone, first thing he said was '' SPEAK LOUDER SO I CAN HEAR YOU. '' Why don't you just... I don't know, turn up the volume on your phone? Of course I didn't say that but I did start talking louder, making my colleague, who sits right next to me, look at me with a raised eyebrow. I did remember his voice and I knew that I've talked to him before but since he didn't say his name in the begginning I couldn't recall who it was at first. Anyways, this customer wanted to tall to our technicians but as a routine we can't just give their numbers to people here and there. This customer got upset and asked me why, I told him why and he just laughed. After that he explained to me what happened to his bread maker and it did sound like a technical problem, it was also pretty old according to him so...... He asked me how long these products are suppose to hold. I told him that for as long as possible, which I know isn't a specific answer but there is no specific answer to these questions. We want our products to live for as long as possible but it IS a machine, they do break if you don't take good care of it or if it's getting old. All I can say about this customer is that he wasn't friendly or nice. He hung up on me as I was talking and laughed at me for just doing my job. He'll probably call tomorrow and ask for my boss again.

So how have I been besides angry customers and working? Compared to last year I'm doing so much better. I'm happier, I look forward to go to work(almost every morning) and I have awesome friends and a boyfriend who makes me happy. Life is great for me and I have plans that I'm looking forward to. A few weeks ago me and Ben ordered our tickets for the summer. I'll fly to him on the July 3rd and we'll both leave July 25th to Sweden. That means that we will have plenty of time to spend with each other. We've already made some plans for when we're both in the US and when we're in Sweden. I can't wait! It's only 2 months an a couple of days left until we meet again and I keep imagine the feeling when we see each other at the airport.

So... A week ago I sent an easter gift to Ben and he sent one for me. I got my gift yesterday and as I saw the note that I could pick the package up from the post office I freaked out. I picked it up from the post office and ran home. At home I opened the package and I saw what I got. I got one of his jacket, which I call floof because it's so fluffy and big, that I was supposed to get for chistmas but I guess we forgot about it. I also got couple of other things. There was this card in there, he had wrapped it 3 times with bubble wrap to make sure that it couldn't get damaged. The card is so beautiful. When you open it, it popps up a magnolian tree and I love it... I also got a little green heart, a charm that I could in my locket.

From being postive to being negative, I have to share my thoughts about what happened a week ago in Stockholm, Sweden. There was a terrorist attack. A truck got hijacked, the hijacker drove full speed down our crowdest street in Stockholm and hitting people. 4 people died and around 15 people were injured in this horrible incident. The truck drove right into Åhléns, which is a really big store on the same street. The hijacker somehow escpade but police later on that night, caught him. Th police released pictures of a man who was on his way from the subway, they never mentioned if he was the suspect or not. They only mentioned that he might've had a connection this deed.

I got the news as I was at work. A woman sent out an email to everyone at our office saying that there's been a terrorist attack and that we should stay away from the central Stockholm. I couldn't believe that something like that could happen so I kept on working. Chaos started to work itself up, people calling each other and we heard reports of shootings in different places in the city. We hade 1,5 hour left of work, could've been only an hour left. The phone was quiet and the office started to get empty. It was as if we were the only ones there. I called my mom and she was ok. My dad called and he was ok. My sister work at the same place with me so I knew that she was safe. My family was safe, even though my mom was still in the city and I couldn't come home. We heard that the police shut down the whole city and as I live in the city I couldn't come home.

My sister said that I could stay at her place as she lives only 5 minutes away from work. So we walked home to her and I felt calm. Almost oddly calm for the situation. I wasn't afraid of anything, I wasn't crying and I didn't panic. I was calm as I watched the news.

Dad picked me up around 10 pm and as I came home, the thoughts hit me. Drottningsgatan, the street where it all happened is a street I usually pass when I'm in the central part of the city. I walk there often. I believe that there's a lot of people that thought the same thing as me, it could've been me. It's a scary thought and it leaves you in fear. What if it was me? What if I was there, walked in my own bubble while listening to music. What if I didn't notice the truck and it just hit me as if I were a piece of paper? What would happen to my family when they got the news? What would happen to Ben?

I thought about it that whole weekend. It bothered me and I drowned myself in playing TERA, avoiding thinking and feeling about it. I couldn't grasp it. I just couldn't. Then on Monday, we all gathered at work to talk about what happened. I sat there and listened to everyone talking. I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings, that this day will be one of those that you'll remember for the rest of your life. This isn't something that I will forget easily. I still don't think I have fully grasped that it happened. For some people, that was actually there... It's still happening to them. They see it everyday. They hear the screams every night. The family who lost their loved ones, they feel it everyday.

I still don't know how I should feel about all of this. I'm not scared. I'm not terrified. But I feel for the victims.

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Hello friends!
I've been occupied with work and haven't really been in the mood to sit down, take time to write a blog post. A small update; my bag found it's way home back to me, I miss Ben, I've had some stressful days at work and life happened.

I thought about something earlier. I've been staring at this blog post for a while now, trying to fill it with my own thoughts but not much is written. I know that this post and these thoughts I have come from somewhere. It's in the past and it's what happened to me that made we want to write this. I get stuck with my words but I feel so creative right now. I want to write this long post about Time and Space but as I started writing it... Like I said, I get stuck. I guess it's called writersblock or something like that? I get like this sometimes. I want to write something, my fingers tingle from being in the mood to write something but in the end I'll just write couple of words that won't make sense to anyone because they are my own thoughts and I need to write them down somewhere. I know that I can use google docs but... I want people to understand me and my thoughts that I have? I tried to be more open with Ben when it comes to my thoughts. There's just this weird feeling that I have where I think I'll get judged by what I'm thinking if I tell him. Not only him but... Specifically him. Anyways, I tried to write down some of my thoughts about Time and space, see below.

The word and concept about Time and Space.. Giving someone time to think, giving someone time to heal, giving and taking time. We're all dependent on time. Time can heal our scars if we let time do it's works of wonder. We shll never forget however, that we have to work some on our own to achieve healing. Maybe the healing means that you have to be on your own for a while or maybe it means that you have to spend time with people that you love. Time means something different to everyone and you never know someones else definition of time.

There's different reasons why someone would need time. Time off from work, time off from family, time off from a poisonous relationship or time off from being yourself. There's plenty of reasons why you'd need to take time off from something and they're all valid reasons for you. People may not understand it, but as long as you feel like this is exactly what you need then do it. Not everyone will accept your choice but in this world we need to be a bit selfish in the choices that we make. If we need to find happiness in a dark place and you need to let go of negativity, then do what feels right for you. If you know that your choice will hurt for a while but you'll end up happier... Don't stop for anyone. Take your time. Do what you need to do in order to make you happy again.

I saw a quote on tumblr that everyone has to heal in their own pace and I couldn't agree more. There's going to be impatient people in your life, trying to make it their time for you to heal. They will try and put pressure on you in makin decisions that mostly apply to them. These decisions will create a pressure on you and get in the way for your time to heal. Almost forcing you to accept a decisions you weren't ready to make or do something for others that you weren't ready for. This can either end up being something positive or it can go down south fast. Screw those people, they don't care about you if they force themselves and their own worries on your healing time. They might tell you to stop being so negative, stop doing this and that only for the purpose of cheering them up. They will tell you that their problems are bigger than yours and their depression is nothing compared to yours. Stop listening to them and take time off from them. Are they really worth being so close to you?

Time isn't just about taking time off and making sure that whatever is hurting is going to heal. Time also consumes us and creates a bubble where you disappear for a while in thoughts. We think about time and try calculate how much time we need from something. That time isn't enough or that time isn't going any faster. You long for someone you love but there's almost too much time until you get to see each other again. Days, weeks and even months until you see each other again. You get frustrated sometimes and time couldn't move slower. You start thinking about how time matters, almost getting obsessed with counting down the days as if that's the only thing that matters. You stop thinking about the outside world and you're just in this bubble where you count the days, weeks and months left. Another day pass by and the only thing that changed was that another day passed by. The countdown changed by one day. One day, but you're still obsessing with time and how much time there's left.

It's all about the term Time and Space, that makes us either heal or it consumes us whole. I believe that we have a choice when it comes to time and space. We need as much time as we need for whatever we're going through. No one should pressure you into anything.



Hello friends!
I made it back home from Florida. My mind is still on Florida time, even though I've been home for some time already. I never really took some time to write a post about the last few days that I spent with him. I wanted to enjoy my last days with him as much as I could before we had to say goodbye. I'll write everything down now though so the future me, and of course you guys, can take part of my adventure.

30/12 - 16; I'm going to write about this day quick since we didn't really do much. Ben had to work so took it easy before we had to drive to his job. I sat there with him through the whole time and it wasn't so busy during that day from what I can remember. Well... Maybe not busy for me but Ben might've been stressed or something.

31/12 - 16; WE WENT TO IKEA! We drove down to Orlando pretty early and went straight for Ikea. As we were walking around in the building Ben asked what some furniture was called (since they were all named in swedish). Sometimes I'd even walk up to him as he was looking at something and I'd tell him what it meant. Of course there was some words that I couldn't really translate (mostly when it was a city or a word that just didn't make sense to me either). It makes me happy that he's interested in learning my language even though he doesn't have to. Every now and then he'd ask me about our grammar but, everything is so easy for me that I had a hard time talking about our grammar. It's usually nothing I think about when I talk so when he'd ask those questions it tickled my brain and I had to really think about my own language.

I am quiet disappointed in the food that Ikea served. Every ikea ( I believe) has a resturaunt in the middle of their store. When we were there it basically said '' TRY SWEDISH FOOD BUT ALSO EAT OUR AMERICAN FOOD BECAUSE 'MURICA ''. The only thing on the menu that was from Sweden was of course the meat balls. Mashed potatoes, meatballs, lingon berry sauce and some of our gravy. The other food was like chicken nuggets with mac and cheese and just.... 'MURICA! So I got a bit disappointed yeah. Ben found a nice desk that he bought since he needed a bigger one and this one was prrrretty big. There's a lot of space now to do school work.

After Ikea we drove to a big mall and I searched everywhere (not really) for a perfume that my mother wants. I couldn't find it so after the mall we drove back to Bens place and started to build his table. We/He noticed that some parts didn't fit, even though it was the right parts that we got to assemble the whole desk. After som frustrations he got it all set and we took his little brother to the park around 9pm to watch some kind of fireworks show but... We bareley even noticed it because of how far away it was from where we were standing. So after the fireworks we drove home and watched a movie, new years kiss and then we fell asleep, hahahaha.

1/1 - 16; This day was reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally boring. Ben had to work from 10 am - 5 pm and even though I could've stayed at home I went with him anyways. I was his moral support all day long. However, for the first 2 hours or something there was no person in sight. Around lunch he had his first customer in the store but after that it was pretty damn slow. We played pokemon go while waiting for time to pass by and eventually another human being would walk in to the store and have some job for him to do. I had to walk to Walmart all by myself to buy us some lunch since we forgot to bring us some from home. When I came back tot he store I saw a person walk into the store with his computer and I didn't know if I should walk in there or not. Eventually I did and I stood in the store and tried my best to not stress either the customer or Ben out by just standing there like a dumb nugget that I am. It must be the swedish-ness in my that made me stand there and just wait instead oif walking intot he back office and wait there.

After his shift we went home and then drove back the Pokemon park and walked around there for almost 2 hours again. It may not sound as a romantic but I do love being alone with him. The pokepark was basically by the water so you could hear the sound waves. We were walking around the park and sometimes holding hands but most of the time our hands were occuppied with our phones (yes we are geeeeeks).

2/1 - 16; On this day, I got hit by the homesick-feeling. I called my grandma on my ipad and we talked for couple of mintues. Our call made me realize how much I actually miss her and after that call I felt a bit sad that she's not closer to me right now. The plans for that day was that we were going to the theater to watch Fantastic Beast and where to find them. Still being homesick, I was silent the whole car ride there. I had no idea what to say but I didn't want him to think that I was mad at him or anything. So when we arrived that I apologized for not talking so much and I explained myself. Everything seemed fine and we bought tickets and went straight for the movie. I must say, a ticket in the US is A LOT cheaper than in sweden. In the theater that we went to you couldn't really reserve your seats either, which is something that I'm used to. A normal ticket in Sweden cost around... 12$ meanwhile, our tickets together was 14$ in total. And you couldn't reserve a seat in this theater. The commercials in the beginning lasted for like 20 or even 30 minutes.

The movie however, was really good. I enjoyed it a lot and there was this scene that made me giggle for minutes and just as I stopped giggling, the exact same thing happened again and I started giggling again. After the movie had ended we walked to the car and I started to laugh hysterical again because of the scenes. We went home again and took it easy before falling asleep.

This is the first scene that made me giggle real hard. If you haven't seen this brilliant movie yet, you really should!

3/1 - 16; On this day we went to the last disney park called Epcot. It was only me and Ben this time. His brother had to go to school and his mother probably had to work. This was one of our better days at the park. I loved Animal Kingdom but Epcot was also pretty cool. First thing that you see when you notice the park is a giant golf ball. Inside that golf ball, they had a ride that took you through parts of our past. We also had great FastPasses and were lucky with the lines at the park. We first went to Test Track, which is a ride where you create an vehicle and I told Ben that I wanted it as ugly as possible. He went bananas and made the ugliest car I've ever seen.

After you make the car you get to sit on like a rollercoaster and they 'test' your car on different things. Our car got first place in something but otherwise it was pretty bad but the whole ride was so much fun. I love how some rides are really creative and different from everything else that you usual ride in amusement parks. Test Track was really fun but we had a FastPass at one of the rides. It took you back in the past and you could see parts of our evolution as humans. How we developed writing and other keyparts from our past. It was a really interesting ride. In the beginning of the ride they take a a picture of you. Ben said '' Smile for the camera '' but he looked pretty bored and I stared into the camera and felt a bit uncomfortable. By the end of the ride the ride made you answer some questions on how you'd like your future to be. Depending on the answers you get a different future and they show you a small clip on how your future would be. The picture they took in the beginning was used here and Ben looked bored out of his mind and it was hilarious.

Epcot has this kind of area where some countries are introduced. Canada was the first one and they were lined up together so you walked from one country to another. We walked around in the different countries. France had this movie that you could watch. The movie had a lot of beautiful content of landscapes in France. and the theater was beautiful. The screen was a really curved one and you can really see everything that the director wanted you to see because of wide the screen was.

After France we walked passed other countries but we stopped in Japan. They had a huge anime-related store (they also had other Japanese things to buy) and I wanted to buy a lot of things for me geeky friends. After the store we walked to a woman who sold japanese beverage and I got a Ramune. I have no idea really what Ramune actually is but it's like a soda and there's this glassball that you have to press into bottle to be able to drink. Most people doesn't know how to open the bottle but I knew exactly how to do it and the woman looked impressed. Of course America had their own section in Epcot. Ben and I shared a funnelcake, which is fried dough with some powdered sugar on top. It was pretty good but there was a lot to eat and both of us got full pretty quick.

Even Norway had their own part! They had a store with some winter clothing but I thought it was funny that Florida was selling those warm jackets. Ben pointed out that it was weird how they had Norway and not Sweden as a country. They also didn't have much scandinavian items to buy in the tiny little store. They basically only had winter clothing from Norway and Frozen merchandise. As we were to exit the store I saw swedish chocolate though! It was really expensive so I didn't even think about buying it.

We had two other FastPasses that day. One called Soarin'. You sat in this seat that took you up the air and took you to a big screen where you saw beautiful landscapes. The whole idea was that you were Soarin' through the skies with the view of a bird. It was beautiful. The last FastPass was a boatride that showed how disney is using their own plants to provied some parts of the food for that park and they talked about agriculture and how to make it better for the future. It wasn't the best ride but it was pretty interesting.

The whole day we walked around catching pokemons. I got a pretty big Snorlax and it made Ben jelous (höhö). He also caught some other pokemons that his little brother jealous. After the park we drove to Orlando and ate at Pizzahut. Ben got a pizza and I ordered a Pasta Chicken Alfredo. When we got the food they walked up to us after some minutes and said that they forgot to put the chicken on the pasta so they'd give us a new portion. I stared at Ben thought '' How could you forget the chicken when it's a chicken dish?''. Anyways, we got food over from both of the pastas that I got. My stomach hurt a lot though on the way home but I was lucky to fall aslep in the car. I guess I just ate a little bit too much or something.

4/1 - 16; Our last together. All I wanted to do that day was spend the last hours with him and enjoy the little time that I had left without having to think that this is the last time in couple of months that I will see him. So we went to the beach, I walked around in the water for the last time and we talked some on the beach. After that we went to the poke park, ate lunch (left overs from Pizzahut the other night) and after that we head home. We watched a lot of movies that day and we cuddled up to eachother whenever we could.

5/1 - 16; Time to say goodbye to the person that means the most to me. The whole night I felt so sad and I couldn't stop thinking about that I had to leave in the morning. When the morning came I packed my bag and I from time to time I was crying and Ben was there to comfort me. When I had to say goodbye to his mother, I got teary and I could barely talk to her. Even saying goodbye to his mom made me want to cry.

In the car to Jacksonville I tried not to think about what I had to do the next hours. We held hand whenever he didn't need his other hand to drive and we drove to a thai place. The waitress came running everytime that Ben drank some of his water and he refilled the glass. It was a bit annoying that he came running so often but I was trying not to focus too much on him. I had a beautiful person infront of me and I wanted to focus on him more. After the food we drove to the airport and we checked my bag and myself in. There was a woman who helped me with the bag and everything but when we checked me in the first flight was delayed with around.. 30 or 50 minutes and I ' only ' had 40 minutes to get from gate to gate in Washington. Which was fine by me. So after that process me and Ben sat on a bench and it was so damn difficult for me to sit there and hold back in the tears. Whenever he wasn't looking I tried to look at him as often as I could ( I know though that he probably figured out that I stared at him like the creep I am).

After some time he asked me when I had to board the plane but I didn't know since my ticket said the old time. I waked up to the board with all the flights and I noticed that the flight was not delayed with almost 2 hours, doing the math I only had 8 minutes to run from gate to gate and I did not have that time to do so. We went backed to the desk and they rebooked my whole flight. My only fear was that my bag wouldn't comet o Sweden so I asked her if it would make it with the whole new route I was forced to take. She said that it would and I trusted her. We walked back to the waiting area and had some minutes before I had to walk through security. As we sat there I felt better and I knew I wouldn't cry so I figured that we could say goodbye for real now but... Here comes the tears and Ben pulled me in his embrace. I knew that saying goodbye would be difficult and I never thought that I would start crying at the airport but I did. The longer we were with eachother, the harder it would be to say goodbye. Eventually we walked up to the entrace to security, hugged and then I stood in the line. Ben was watching me the whole time and I turned around and saw him smile at me a few times as the line was moving and then all of sudden... He was gone and I was on my own.

Security went fast and smooth, walking to the gate took 1 minute. There was some delay on boarding but the boarding went fast. We started taxing and then when we were just a few seconds to start the take off there was a man that needed medical needs. So we had to drive back to the gates so the meds could check on him. An hour and a half later he walked into the plane and nothing was wrong with him.

So I had 20 minutes in Houston to get from B gate to E gate. Luckily they had a tram and it only took me about 10 minutes to get where I was supposed to be. While on the plane from Houston to Frankfurt, we got some delay because of some baggage troubles. As I sat in my seat I could start feeling the uncomfortable feeling of urinary infection and I paniced. One of the things you want to do when you have urinary infection is to sit on the toilet or shower. But the plane was getting delay and I didn't want to use the bathroom while we were still on the ground. 5 minutes after we were safely in the air I walked to the toilet and felt so uncomfortable. The whole flight I felt uncomfortable and I tried to somehow make my body fall asleep.

In Frankfurt I had to walk fast to my gate but they had changed the gate of course. So I walked to the wrong gate at first before I looked it up and I walked to the right gate. When I arrived at Arlanda, which is our airport I was terrified that my bag wouldn't have made it to Sweden. After waiting almost an hour for my bag I realised that it probably wouldn't show up so I asked some assistant where it was. She told me that it was in Washington. So the lady who helped me with rebooking my flight NEVER changed the route on my bag. So I stood there on the airport and I felt like crying while talking and giving my information so they could ship the bag to me.

My dad was waiting for me at the airport to pick me up and as I sat down in the car and closed the door I broke down. Flying for almost 24 hours and being in an emotional roller coaster for 24 hours and finally being to just cry it out felt good. I texted Ben on our way home and it felt so odd texting again.

The day after the gave me my bag left but... I really wanted my bag to be there when I arrived in Sweden.

Words cannot describe though how thankful for the time that I got to spend with my Bemmie. We talked about that he might visit me in Sweden in the late summer or something like that. I don't want to get in the way of his school so we're still not stressing about dates etc.



Did you do something this year that you had never done before?– Hell yeah I did! First off I went to the Netherlands all by myself, and I traveled to the US! Which is something that I had never even thought that I would when I was 17 and still in High School; but here I am!

How has your 2016 been? – Very up and down I'd like to say. The year started off pretty good but then it just spiraled down more and more. By the time of July I had to stop focusing on what's hurting me and what made me depressed and start focusing on how to be more postive and happy. So after Närcon I was happier, things still going up and down but after a decision I made to be apart from someone, I was happier.

Do you think that the 2017 will be better? – I sure hope so. Of course there was some positive events during 2016 that changed me but most of the first 6 months were too much of a up and down period for me. It got me too depressed and forced me into situations that I didn't want to be put into.

Did you fall inlove during this year? – Yes.

Which dates are you going to remember from this year? – Mostly January 6th. which was the day my flight left for the Netherlands for the first time. But also 19th of December where my journey to the US and Ben began.

What is your greatest success during 2016? – Wow... There was some things that I'd like to count as a success, mostly for my own self. One of them is putting my foot down. I had enough or something and I put my foot down had to stop whatever was happening. It took too much on my own mental health and every friend of mine told me that they hate seeing my like that so.. My greatest success was that I made a strong decision simply because I listened to myself and others. I needed this to happen, and it did. In the beginning it still occured but then I just stopped everything and just... Just Stopped. Another success of course is that I kept my job and earned myself money so I can have a better future already. Now I only need to tackle the thought of spending money and that I sometimes actually need to buy clothes etc etc...

What did you spend the most money on?– To be honest, I spent a lot of money on flight tickets. Both on myself but also on someone else. There just this one ticket that cost 130 that I wished that I didn't had to spend my own money on, money that I will probably never get back.

Did something make you really happy? – Oh yeah! There was a lot of things that made me really happy and one of them was when people came back to TERA and started to play with me. Of course I'd like Kevin to be more active but it's tough wheny ou have a job to take care of so I understand him (I just miss you that's all<3).

What songs are going to remind you of 2016? – Mooi; a dutch song, Mercy - Shawn Mendes, Divinity - Porter Robinsson. 

Who have you been hanging out with the most? – My family for the most part. If you count any internet 'hanging out ' spectrums then I'd also say Pella, Kevin, Ben and Val. For the beginning of this year it was also Kenneth.

Did you have a relationship during 2016? – Yes.

Is there going to be anything you'll miss with 2016 that you want in 2017? – No thanks, I'd like for new things to happen in 2017 and let 2016 be in the past. I guess I'm gonna have to say though that I'll miss the time that I had with Ben but I want more of it in 2017!

What do you wish that you'd done more?– Taken care of myself and listen to myself more. I know that during 2016 I've listened more to one person and what he needed than what I actually needed. It ended up with listening too much on him and still not being good enough for him. I'm just guessing that we are too different and his way of dealing with this wasn't something that I could do and when he figured it out he got upset about it.

What do you wish that you'd done less? – Put down my foot 3 months earlier.

Favorite show on the tv? – RUPAULS DRAGRACE CAME OUT ON NETFLIX DURING SEPTEMEBER SOOOOOO..... No but also The Flash and the X-files. Those three was my favorite during the whole year.

The biggest finding in music? - Uhm.... I don't know....

Best memory from 2016? - ​My best memory from 2016 must ebt he first time that I saw Ben. After hours of being nervous and walking up to the exit but the first person I see is Ben. He was standing as close as he could to the exit. Of coruse I have a lot of great memories from 2016 but this was my favorite one. Because in that moment, I knew that this was real.  

What did you do on your birthday? – My family and I drove down to a small city where my mom and stepdad already were camping. We played mini-golf, ate lunch and then we headed to the store and got items for the dinner celebrations. It was a rather cozy evening. We played a jelly-bean challenge where you could get a bean that looked like another bean but you weren't sure if you ate Waterlemon or cut grass; because both beans were the same color of green. I got dog food once and it actually tasted pretty OK, then everyone got Vomit and EUGH. HOW DO THEY EVEN COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF TASTE???

Is there anything that would've made your year better? – Yeah... That I listened more to myself and took myself a bit more serious that I actually did. But in the end, I am here and I am really happy now.

What made you feel good? – Hmm... A lot of things. Like the support I had from my friends and the support I got from Ben... I also guess that me and my dads relationship changed a lot... And that's one of the things that made me feel the most good.

Who did you miss from 2015? – Uhm... I don't know?

De best new people that you met? – I didn't meet any new friends, but I finally met Ben and let me tell you... It was worth going by myself and flying for 17 hours. I will do this again. I did however, meet his grandma and she was such a loving person. I wish that I had more time with her though. 

What would you want to tell yourself for 2017? – Just live Johanna. Don't stop for anyone, if they can't keep up with your pace then you shouldn't stop for them.