I'm on an airplane on my way back to New York right now. It's 3 a.m. I love overnight flights because they always seem to go by faster, but in retrospect, flying back always feels faster than flying to. I wonder why.
I needed to fly back for a holiday photoshoot with my company. And although I'm really excited, I can't help but feel all sorts of anxiety. In this moment, I want to vomit. I hear people tell me, "Lisa, I admire your confidence so much! I wish I could be that confident." I always smile and thank them, but what they don't know is what goes on behind the scenes. It can take me hours to post a photo of myself, I put on ten different outfits before choosing the right one, and I exude confidence the most on the days where I feel like nothing. I think it's important to have those days because it allows you to really fall in love with yourself all over again, time after time. There's always something new to fall in love with. Being in front of the camera is very nerve-wrecking for me - it always has been. It's a constant battle every day between what my body and mind tells me.
One thing I've learned is that when it comes to my fears, I need to face them head on. It's the only way I'll be able to experience life and be happy. Every time I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and did something that I was too scared to do, it only gave a good result. Except for that one time I auditioned for the school talent show in 10th grade - now that was a big mistake but it's a funny story to tell now. I began facing my fears and doing instead of thinking in high school, when I ran for vice president of the associated student body. I then took the leap to move away and attend a university that was 5 hours away from home. Thereafter, I eventually took the leap to move to New York. This year is the year that I have faced most of my fears. And I could not be more grateful. When you take a chance and do something that you know you're not comfortable with but you choose to do it anyway because you know deep down inside you really want it despite what society says, you are the strongest person you could ever possibly know. My parents took a chance and moved to a country where they did not speak the general and every decision they made was a risk with an unknown outcome. Go into every situation with this mentality.