After a little over 10 months in the states I decided au pairing wasn't for me anymore and to go back home to Sweden. It was a hard decision but it felt like the right one for me at the moment, I was feeling done and ready to do something else even though I really liked it in the Country... but It won't be the last time :)

Coming home have been one of the strangest experiences so far in my life, I can´t really put my finger on what I'm feeling but there is some kind of sadness over being home. I feel really out off place and like I don't fit in here anymore. Still I'm super happy to meet everyone and the best part so far have been to go around and surprise all my friends and family that didn't know I was home.

Have no clue what's coming next but I'm looking forward to find out :)

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I guess the saying After rain comes sunshine goes both ways. The weekend was great with super hot weather but today it have been raining on and off the hole day and later in the afternoon we also got some thunder and lightning.
Usually love this weather because it's so nice to sit inside under a blanket and listen to the rain or watch a movie, but I was meeting up with my friends tonight for Taco Tuesday which meant heading out in the rain. Then it's not so nice anymore. Especially when the bus is over 10 minutes late.. but at least I got my quesadillas!
So proud of myself that I learnt the difference between tacos, burritos and quesadillas! First time I went in to a Mexican restaurant after I came here and started looking at the menu I realized I had no clue of what most of it was. Nachos and guacamole was kind of the only things I actually knew, but now I realize that I know a lot of the food from home, we just don't use the right names for them.
Love all the Mexican food here anyway! Gonna miss that when I go home to Sweden again.



Tonight have been one of those perfect nights you never want to end.

Went to a friend's place for a BBQ and afterwards we sat down around a campfire in the backyard talking and eating s'mores.

But while sitting there I could´t stop thinking about my life and the choices that have taken me to just this moment and how I wanna continue living my life. I realized how much I have changed already and that I can´t imagine ever going back to living my life the way I used to.

It scares me, but in the same time I can´t wait to see what comes next.



Just celebrated my first memorial day weekend in the states! Have to admit that I did´t even know what it was until now, so for those who don´t know it´s the day Americans remember and honor those who died while serving in the country´s armed forces and are celebrated the last Monday in May every year.

Was thinking about going away for the weekend but decided to stay home instead, which I´m happy I did because I had a great weekend hanging out with my friends, sailing, kayaking and some BBQ. Absolutely one of my best weekend´s so far!

There were also a kick-off event down by the lake for music and movies in the park, it´s a thing they have here during the summer where they set up music and movies outside in different parks around Minneapolis and you can go there for free. Looking forward to checking it out!



Because one of my biggest dream always have been to travel, see new places, cultures and meet new people I started looking around for alternatives that would allow me to do those things.

Growing up I heard a lot of stories from when my mom was younger and traveled around, at one point she was working as a au pair in the states and I always thought that sounded like fun so I started looking into that possibility.

I found a company, Cultural Care Au Pair that offer people in the ages 18-26 the possibility to go away for a year or two to do that. I took a chance and signed up for more information and a couple of weeks later I went to one of their meetings in town and I decided that I gonna do this.

I wanted to be finished with the application until my high school graduation so the upcoming 6 months I worked harder than ever to get all the child care experience I needed by helping out at a kindergarten, getting my driver license, fixing with papers and in the same time working part time at a grocery store and keeping up in school.

But I made it and in June I had graduated school, finished my application and started matching with families.

Can´t remember many times I have been so nervous as before my first Skype interview with one of the families but it worked out fine even though they decided for another girl. After that I talked with some more families and in the end there was one that wanted me to come. First I was super happy about it, but after I had settled down a bit I started to think about it some more and ended up saying no to that family because it some how did´t feel right with them.

I decided that I wanted it to feel right if I was about to do this so I waited and focused at working to save up some money.

In November I found a family that I liked and in February I had quit my work, said goodbye to all of my friends and family at home and sat on plane to New York.



I think all people have stopped at least once in their life and just thought -what the hell are I´m doing with my life? ​Maybe not in those exakt words but still with the same meaning.

I have had that feeling my hole life, unsureness of what I wanna do with my life, what kind of work I wanna have, where I wanna live, what a ​happy ​life means for me. I have heard friends talk about their goals in life, what they plan to do in the future and always had this feeling of envy, not of their goals and plans but of the fact they actually know what they wanna do with their life and how to get there.

But in the end, what always have scared me the most is the thought of missing out on something. That I gonna wake up one day and realized my life have past by and that I never did everything I wanted out of fear for failure.

All of this struck me during my last year of high school, or gymnasium as we call it in Sweden. I realized that I had less than a year of school left before I for the first time in my life would be able to do whatever I wanted with my life, go where ever I wanted and finally make some of my dreams come true. I also got the felling that if I did´t make a plan or took a decision I would most likely just sit this chance by and end up stuck in the same routine, and my dreams would keep on being dreams.

So right then I took a decision. I would stop thinking ​about why I should´t and instead start to live the life I want for myself, even if that means taking the hard way sometimes.

Here´s my story, it´s far from perfect but it´s mine.

Hope you find it worth following.