That is a quote that has really stuck to my brain lately. I don't know if it is supposed to have a positive or negative meaning, but to me it is certainly negative. It is almost pressuring me to do everything right from the start and not having any regrets.
To me the quote is saying that I only have one life, and that I need to make it as perfect as I can. Then I think about how I, in the past, let people hurt me continuously, how I let my anxiety control me, why I didn't continue studying in Brighton, why I went to Madrid, and why I'm back in London with an unqualified job- why I didn't think through my choices before I put myself in situations that are hard to get out of.
I had the opportunity to get a university degree, but because of bad experiences in Brighton- experiences that didn't really have to do with the college or Brighton itself, I decided to take a break from studying. And now I am here in London with a house contract, with a job contract, wanting to finish my studies and get a qualified, well-paid job and settle somewhere. I have no clue what I want to do with my life, my only life, and it is scary to me. All I know is that this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life.
From now on, I will think through everything I do thoroughly and not be too spontaneous about what I do *cough* Madrid. I am overly ambitious and way too impulsive for my own good, and it is starting to get to me- the 20 year old has hit her first life crisis. ✌🏼