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This is the second day in a row where I've woken up but have no reason to get up. I don't have any plans or a shift to get to. And I'm missing Paris immensely. There I could hang out with Andres doing nothing but still having fun. I could meet up with Jiwon, Gyuna and Marivan too. If i was in Paris I'd probably go dancing tonight.
But I'm not, I'm stuck here and I'm incredibly bored. And when I don't keep myself busy I do stupid things, and I feel low.
I turn into the worst version of myself and I feel like I'm suffocating in my own life. There is no reason for my life right now, I don't want to die but it sort of feels like I did.
I feel like I'm missing out on the best parts of my life, I've already wasted my teenage years with sadness. I don't want to continue this way.

I don't know, I'm just so lonely and I don't know what to do about it. I try asking friends to hang out but I know they're busy with their lives, you know with work, studies and boyfriends. They simply don't have the same need for attention and companionship as I because they're already getting it elsewhere.
So I just turn into this needy puppy with too much energy, in their eyes. And social media is only making things worse, my fomo is killing me. Everywhere you look there's squad goals, couples goals and whatnot. And I'm just sitting on my couch or sleeping my time away. It's like I've dug myself into a hole and now I can't get out. Even when I try to. Maybe I should try talking to somebody and take a class in something. Maybe do something creative. But I'm going to start with tidying my room.

Gosh I wonder just how many times I've written a post like this? Too many I feel, I have to try and fix this but I'm stuck on how.
I hope you guys are feeling better than I do! ❤️

Have a good one xx

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Saturday 26th November
Today we got tattooed!
Like I wrote a couple of months ago mom and I decided to get tattooed together. And so the day finally arrived.
I woke up kinda worried I was making a mistake, haha I don't know why. But I always feel that way before making big decisions. I felt that way the days before bringing my bunny home, and I felt that way before Paris. So I didn't take my worries too seriously.
I wasn't nervous at all, I was actually pretty cool, even numb.
But mom was a wreck, she was nervous and terrified. And it only got worse as the appointment time was getting closer.

I think she was having a small meltdown when we got to the shop. Because choosing the font turned into to almost an hour of extreme indecisiveness. And the worst part was the instead of saying what she didn't like or even if she liked it she just stood in silence. Making the tattoo artist very nervous, and me too, maybe she was getting cold feet or something. After a lot of buts and ifs we finally picked the right fonts. We decided to have different ones but with the same text.

I got mine first because I knew I would get too nervous if i had to watch first. As he was prepping the station, my nerves started. I was kinda worried about the pain, because you get different answers from different people, about the pain. And the ribs are supposedly a sensitive area.
When he started it didn't hurt too bad, there were a couple of lines that really stung. But it was overall mostly annoying.

I wasn't a cocky as mom though, because funnily enough she didn't think it hurt at all. Like not even a little, she kept asking what the fuss was about and that she wanted to do it again.
Which I guess is a pretty natural response because you get this sort of high; an adrenaline rush that last for a while. We started laughing for no reason as we left the studio.

That was pretty much her face the whole day

Straight out of the wrapping

The tattoo is a reference to an inside joke of ours. It says "Så jävla special" which roughly translates to "So damn Special". It's a line from a very stupid song, which we sing when we're basically throwing shade at people who think they're all that. You know people who think they're better than you for silly reasons. And it's also a dig at ourselves because most of the time we feel like we actually are special snowflakes! Snowflake and proud!

It's funny to think that this is the most permanent thing I've ever done, haha what will my kids think? 😂

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Shite! I forgot to post these!


Thursday 24th November
So today was the birthday of one of the coolest dudes alive; my granddad!
Like usual, he didn't want to make a big deal of it. But I thought it would've been a shame to not celebrate at all. So I convinced him to at lest go out for dinner, and he agreed.
Our family is very small it's just me, mom, my uncle, grandma and grandpa. And my uncle was working so it was just the four of us.
It was a nice dinner, with a couple of his really bad jokes. Think dad jokes times a hundred, and I'm usually the only one left laughing.

Haha we're a family of hobbits

I did a little tribute to him on my snapchat, talking about his bad sense of humour and other stuff. I thought it would be nice to do one here as well, so here's a list of :

Reasons my grandfather is cooler than yours

• He used to be a sailor

His first attempt of becoming one was when he tried to run away as a three year old.
• He's a painter
And a really good one at that
• He has travelled a lot
• He's really smart and knows a lot
• He works out several times a week
• He plays football several times a week
• He has very dry sense of humour
• He believes and (always has) in equality
• He's not judgemental
• He's very kind


And if you're still not convinced here are a couple of pictures

Old photos

See you soon xx

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Friday 18th November
Today started off as an other uneventful day. I think I might have to start looking for a new job soon, because this isn't working anymore. I'm not getting any hours, which sucks because I do like my job. I don't know, maybe I'll call an other store or something.

When mom came home from work, she asked if I wanted to join her as she and her friends from work were meeting up later. I still don't have any money so I wasn't sure, if we were going to a bar or something. But it ended up being at one of her friends place, so I could go.

On the way mon bought some, wine, (glögg) malted wine and some nuts. But when we arrived so found that the our friend had made a whole feast of good stuff. There was fruit, nuts, cheese, chips, chocolate, you name it! 😂

It turned into yet another cozy ladies night.

Look at all the snacks

See you soon xx

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Tuesday 17th November
Today was a rather chill day, I had absolutely nothing to do.
It was a while ago since I went to the movies, so I asked mom if she wanted to go. We have a tiny cinema really close to where we live. They mainly show "foreign" films, meaning not American, you know more artsy films, with smaller budgets.
I saw that they were showing a film that I was interested in seeing, which happened to be American; The Girl on the Train. I saw the trailer for it a couple of months ago, and I had no idea what it was about, which naturally excited me.
Mom said yes and tagged along not even knowing the title.
You have to see this movie, it was actually really good. A true thriller with a great plot twist, go see it!

The trailer

Have a good one xx

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Tuesday 15th November
My mom woke me up, telling me we're having brunch with Emma in half an hour. But with everything happening this month I can't afford it, I muttered from my bed. When she said it was her treat, I jumped out of bed and put some clothes on. The brunch ended up being lunch instead, as we all ordered pizzas. Now, it's pretty hard to fail with pizza, and they really didn't. It was sooo good, I was in pizza heaven.

After our lunch we went for a little stroll. But we all felt that we had so much more to talk about, so we went for coffee/tea as well. It was so nice to just talk, I had so much fun!

Pizza!

At the cafe I got a text from POW about the plans for tonight. We were going to see Melanie Martinez in Cph! I was so excited, I just love her music and her style. I love the baby thing, I wouldn't be able to pull it off myself on the regular, but she's really working it!
POW came over to my place as I was doing my makeup, with Melanie blasting from my phone.
And my little bunny bun bun 🐰, sorta joined us by sleeping in the hallway right next to us.

The anticipation was real

The concert was at a venue called Vega, I've heard a lot about it, but never been there myself. It's a fairly small place, but it sure did hold a lot of people. I was happy to find that a lot of people dressed up for the occasion, loads and loads of Cry babies! But apparently a huge part of Melanie's audience are under the age of 13 hahah so there was a lot of parents as well.

Now maybe I'm a bit conservative but I wouldn't let my kids listen to songs with adult themes like a lot to her songs are about. They sound very innocent if you listen for a second but she does sing fuck a lot. I mean they're not graphic or anything but still...

Haha she looks way smaller in the pictures


I think because of the very low age range, the crowd were a little bit too excited. I've never seen anything like it, they would shout over a light getting turned on. Hahah and don't even let me get started on the opening act. You'd think people came to see them. The crowd was screaming and clapping and throwing roses and what not.

The concert was amazing, she did open with apologising for her sore throat and she wouldn't be able to sing so well. But I think she sounded absolutely amazing. You can tell that she puts an effort in every single part of the show. Because it really is a show, with characters and a loose plot. If you do get a chance to see her you really should!

I think this is the closest I'll get to going to a One Direction show. Loads and loads of adolescent girls screaming and singing a long to every single lyric. It must be amazing do her, because I mean this is like her first album and world tour. To have gained such a huge and very supportive fan base fairly fast,must be amazing.

One of my faves from her album

See you soon xx

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Today I woke up in a mood, so I stayed in my burrito for almost three hours after waking up. When I finally found the strength to get out of bed I saw that the sun was shining, I just had to be outside. I remembered talking to POW about hanging out today, so I called her. She was busy studying but said that we could meet up later, as she was going for lunch with Elvis anyway.
Today was also the day I dared to wear my wig out in public. I was so nervous that it was too obvious and that it would fall off or something
But nothing happened and I didn't get that many stares. Ahhh I love my wig!

When we met up we didn't know where we wanted to eat, I suggested Jensen's Bøfhus as a joke. But they agreed because apparently they had lunch deal so it wasn't as expensive as usual. And I mean it's pretty much the same price as McDonalds so why not?
It felt like such a treat and they'd already put up the Christmas decorations so it was really cozy too.

The happy couple 😂

Elvis being a weirdo

See you soon xx

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Mah first wig!

Today I woke up to the sound of my mom receiving a package. And I was certain that it was for me, so I literally jumped out of bed and ran to the hallway. I've ordered a couple of things this week, so I wasn't sure what this was. And to my surprise it was my wig! Ahhhhh I almost died with excitement. It's a lace front so it looks fairly natural, well as natural as a purple synthetic wig can look. I fell in love with it right away, I was completely mesmerised. Haha I ended up getting late for my lunch date with Louise. When I told her the reason why, she just laughed, so we cool.
I haven't seen her since Paris, every time we've made plans life got in the way. So we had a lot to talk about, when I left she'd just started dating this guy and now they live together. I love Louise because everything she does, she gives it all, she throws herself head first.
And we're both extremely talkative, at least we we get together so there's never a dull moment hanging out with her. Our little lunch break turners into a four hour talk with a little eating in between. XD

Have a hair flip!

See you soon xx

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Tuesday 8th November
I'm sorta going through a dry spell, work wise, in other words I'm bored af.
Next week will hopefully be more interesting. I'm seeing Melanie Martinez in Cph in a week! She's got such a unique style that I kinda want to replicate for the concert. But I suck at makeup so I thought that I might as well practice. I'm not a hundred precent happy with my first attempt but it wasn't horrible either. I mean my eyes are hooded so the result won't be perfect anyways.

🎶I know my ABC, yet you keep teaching me...🎶

By the time I was done, the sun was shining room. Which left a beautiful light, so I had a little photo shoot.

🎶 They call me cry baby, cry baby...🎶

Hahaha I look kinda awkward but fuck it

After my little shoot, I called mom to ask if she wanted to go get coffee.
Over a cup of mocha we discussed, the election, politics in general and racism. I sometimes wonder what people think when they hear us talking. Because I know that most of the time when I hear people talking about politics and such, I either think they sound pretentious or stupid. I don't know why but I do. So I'm guessing other people feel the same while listening to us. But hey what can you do?

Afterwards we went to a tattoo parlour and left a deposit, because guess what we're getting inked! Yaaaay!

Have a good one xx

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Sunday 6th November ( how the fuck is it already flippin November?!)
Today I met up with one of my old classmates. We used to hang out a lot, but sorta drifted apart for many reasons, one of them being my depression. I pulled away from a lot of my friends then, and now that I feel alright again I so wish that I hadn't. So a couple of days ago I reached out to her and we set a date.
I was a little nervous that there'd be a lot of awkward silences because we haven seen each other since we graduated back in 2014.
But it wasn't awkward at all, we had so much fun! Talking about everything that we've done, and wish to do. Haha it felt like we hadn't spent a day apart.
Hahahaha I know I say that a lot, but I guess I've found some great people in my life. I just have to bring them back.
She must've felt the same way because we've made new plans for this week.
I'm so excited! I just love new friendships, or maybe I should say renewed. She's such a fun person, she's spontaneous and a doer. So I think she's exactly what I need in my life.
Hopefully she'll stay 😁

Hours later one of my moms friends came over. She's the mother of one of my friends from when I was a kid, my mom and her met during of the parent teacher meetings. They connected over both being young moms and have stayed friends ever since. Her daughter and I hang out in different crowds so I guess their friendship outlived ours.
Anyways she came over for dinner, well she'd already eaten so she came over for wine. Haha
We all spent most of the night talking so she spent the night.
So I guess it was a day of old friends.

See you soon xx

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